So Eton, everything I expected and more

[JoanBias]

My DS is at a private school, so I have experience of private schooling, but my word Eton was like another world.

Not just the school, but the people there.

There was one prep school being shown around, all in tweed jackets, and to a boy the spitting image of Draco Malfoy (well there was one Chinese boy, but otherwise....).

One of the mothers doing the tour was not quite right in some respect, I'm not sure how but something wasn't wired up correctly or something. She was immacuately dressed, 6-inch heels (pretty daft considering the confirmation letter warns about having a long walk), but she was just bizarre. The admissions tutor said 'we have a waiting list of 80 boys and typically 35% of these will make it through', and she asked afterwards 'so 80% of the boys from the waiting list make it through?', and it was then explained again, but you could kind of hear the cogs going round and she clearly didn't get it. She had asked several other similar questions; e.g., it was explained that some Houses are catering and others go to a central cafeteria, so she then asked 'so they all eat in the cafeteria'? She pointed at the Fives Court and asked me 'what do they play here?' I said 'Fives' 'Is it squash?', she said. 'No, Eton Fives.' 'So is it squash?' It seemed as if this woman had had the benefit of the 'Finishing School for the Terminally Dim', because she was otherwise every inch the presentable upper middle-class wife.

Another family had a son who looked the prototypical pre-Etonian, and sure enough Daddy spent the tour braying on about his House when he had been there.

The facilities were extremely impressive, although they didn't bother to show us any of the academic parts, and basically the impression was 'if your son is incredibly pushy and self-motivated, send him here and we will teach him to be entitled'. They said 'every year we reject about a third of the highest performers on the test', essentially because they aren't pushy enough. (The House Mistresses seemed quite nice though.)

Fantastic training for future managing directors and whatever, but not for us.....

Well worth it to sign up for a tour, very illuminating. They take about 100 a day from what I can see, so obligation at all....

But threads have to end somehow, VernonSmith.
What else do you want to know about Eton?

They do. I am not sure what I want to know specifically, I'm afraid. I was just enjoying hearing other people's experiences. But I should be getting on with other things anyway, so probably best not to linger!

Xenia outed? I'm sure I've seen this before.
Come to think of it, this thread smacks of stirring big time. I wonder who was bored?

It is interesting that you want to compartmentalise your life Xenia.
I dont think people realise that when we post, we give away things about ourselves.
And even not answering , or the way in which we answer,also does.

I find all that stuff fascinating as well.

Vernon Eton will always cause disagreement on MN as it will always have its supporters and detractors. For every post saying its wonderful 5 people will tell you why it isn't including the anti independent crowd. Im not its greatest fan if I posted my reasons for disliking it at least 5 people would tell me Im talking rubbish. Thats life we cant all agree or like the same thing. What you have to do is read the responses and many of views are valid to the person writing them and perhaps decide how much they matter to you and your DS. Even Eton has as yet not managed to become so homogenised that even those with DS's there would give you necessarily the same opinion/view of it.
Eventually you have to trust your own judgement.

Thanks, happygardening. I know from my own children's schools that opinions about the schools vary wildly from one parent to another. I've picked up some useful food for thought here so far as Eton is concerned - though, of course, we need far more RL experience of it (and, of course, he might not even get in!)

What I do think this thread has been lacking, is Eton through the decades iyswim.
It is all very well to say Eton, or any other school for that matter, was like, .... 20 or 30 years ago, but it does not have much relevance to now, for this poster and others, does it?

JoanBias has started two threads.....

One about Eton (relatively controversial)
One about a rude shop assistant (with Islam thrown in, factual)

The one containing a Muslim woman has been removed, apparently because this is a suspected previously banned poster.

Hand wringing on MN's part. Not surprised. Surely if this was a previously banned poster all threads and posts should be removed.

*If you dont mind me asking, BadLad, do you now work with people who were privately educated,at Eton or otherwise.
Or are you say,in management, and you were helped to get there because of your Eton background. *

I got my first job just by applying for it. I think having gone to Eton was just seen as a curiosity to talk about in the interview. The questions asked about it were along the lines of "Did you enjoy it?" and others which people who have been to public school don't really ask. Anyway, I don't feel the Old Boys' network has really helped me. I have always interviewed well and I did well at school and I think that has been more important.

No idea about my colleagues now - the company doesn't disclose personal information like that and nobody has asked or talked about their own educational background.

Xenia has had so many name changes and has been outed on more than one occasion. She's a colourful character and I kinda like her but she does herself no favours when she gives away so much information about herself and outs herself after yet another name change.

No-one should have their anonymity threatened and perhaps a little too much trust is placed in the people who post on Mumsnet. I know I've given links to sponsored events that I've been doing and dd has been doing in our real names for all to see. There's always a risk of course, but in my case so what if someone knows my real name and where I live? What are they going to do, stalk me?

Xenia however is probably much more high profile and therefore has much more to lose.

And I'm babbling and the thread has moved on to discuss Eton through the ages, a discussion I cannot be a part of because my kids can only ever go to state schools and that's the way it is for us. Money certainly opens up a world of options eh?

I know nothing whatsoever about Eton and am perfectly happy in my ignorance.

I think most people agree its most suitable for a bright enthusiastic boys whose a self starter and capable of organising himself and his time a boy who wants to join and do things. I've no doubt that the standard of pastoral care is excellent the lessons well taught and the facilities amazing. Up until recently Ive never heard a bad word about it from any parent or boy there all are full of praise for it. There are probably some pretty ghastly parents there as detailed by the OP but lets be realistic there are some pretty ghastly parents at all top boarding schools its the nature of the beast. The good news is that you don't have much contact with them. All these schools are also going to be very "grown up" in comparison with prep but children are adaptable and given a chance IME most will eventually settle down and love it.
As I've said it wasn't what we were looking for but then my DS''s school isn't what everyones looking for. We are happy with our choice the boys from my DS's prep who left with him and went to Eton or Harrow or anywhere else you care to think of are hopefully happy with their choices and that at the end of the day is all that matters.

"No idea about my colleagues now...nobody has asked or talked about their own educational background?
Do you work with mainly males?
Cant see women not talking about those things, not the women I know anyway!

Even JoanBias may not be who she seems!
wow. It feels like MNHQ is getting somewhat bombarded at the moment.

xenia is bonkers, but I do find her posts entertaining, not least because her quest in life (other than, of course, being a TOP LAWYER and OWNING HER OWN ISLAND, just in case anyone hadn't read that the last 2000 times she mentioned it) seems to be to make women who don't make the same life choices as her feel shit.

fwiw xenia I'm a working mother and I swear like a trooper. I also bake cakes sometimes. I'm amazingly non-thick but I'd love to stay at home all the time, I reckon it'd be awesome. Sadly I can't afford to. [holding out hope for euromillions win emoticon]

amillionyears, in the places I've worked no-one discussed their educational background. They discussed past relationships, future relationships, training courses, perhaps ambitions, who was sleeping with who, etc. Education was not really under discussion. If you had a different accent that would be noted but most people are really only interested in telling you about themselves and not listening to where you came from or which school you went to.

Tbh, I read the OP and my first thoughts were of trolls out to cause mischief. The whole tone is designed to wind people up from start to finish. I didn't think it real at all. Couldn't be bothered reading the whole thing so just read the last 2 pages.

Where has Xenia said that she's a lawyer? I've seen lots of other people attribute that profession to her, but never seen a post where she says that about herself.
Nobody has ever expressed any particular interest in my educational background! People have often made assumptions about it, however - inane, prejudiced assumptions, generally.

It's unlikely that those who are devoid of opinions and who live completely dull boring lives whether they are SAHN or working 70 hours a week are going to post on MN. After all it's a forum where you can post your opinion anonymously
make as many claims about yourself as you like and most won't bother or be able to check and within reason express pretty outrageous vews.
Hopefully some people receive answers to their questions valuable help and good advise.

(I don't think it's true I have countless changed my user name on mumsnet. I have been steadfast to Xenia yea until the end of time... as I know if I changed name within about 2 minutes someone would guess I am quite open and honest, bad at lying etc.

If you are going to pick a boarding school and have a son Eton is one of the best ones to pick. However as with all schools in the top 20 none of us really feel we are picking. Most children who apply don't get in. It is the school which picks from the many who would do well there.

the book Outliers found those that if you took 100 who might have got to Harvard who met the entry requirements but only 1 in 100 got lucky )rather than the loads who are not bright enough to go) any of those 100 could do well. In other words if you are bright and put the work in all you need is that one chance and you can do okay. If you never get lucky to make that chance then it's harder.

Some people seem to think if I make a general comment like many more working class people are fat than rich or housewives on the whole tended not to earn much before they gave up work so therefore they not their husbands gave up work that therefore I am concluding and therefore 100% of housewives have an iIQ of 100 or whatever. It's weird that people should conflate that. Obviously if you earn £100k and you husband £20k you are not likely to push your faqmily into poverty when baby 1 comes along by doing anything stupid like shoot the family income to pieces. If you earn a fraction of what Mr Big Bucks husband earns whether he earns £40k and you £13k or he earns £4m and you £400k then you might well decide not to bother with work.

It's the biggest reason in the UK women do so badly and hold so little power and haec so little money - they marry up. I wonder if anyone on the thread who is a housewife earned double or 5x their husband's income when they decided to go part time or cease working?

People read your general and perfectly innocuous comments about fat working class people, thickos, SAHMs, state schools, the word 'kids' (though 'I speak okay' is apparently fine?) and somehow they form from that some kind of opinion and response? The bastards!

Xenia most women 'marry up' because men earn more and are more likely to benefit from networking, by attending such schools as Eton. So one might think you would be anti Eton, tbh.

It's a leg up for men that women simply cannot get.

'marry up', 'marry down' - bloody hell, it's like Mansfield Park in here!

Xenia hasnt changed her name.
She might be also using others for all I know, but she has been Xenia on here for many many years.
rabbitstew, she hasnt said she is a lawyer, but we know from what she posts what she is,whether she has actually said that, which from memory she actually has.

They don't though. Women earn more than men up to age 26 and many people meet a partner at university.

4 in 5 women marry a man who is older and better educated and earning more. Therefore at 30 when they talk about babies if he is on £100k and she £30k you can see which muggins will give up work for life and never have a career again. If she was on £100k and he £30k then the discussion is different. Women do much better than men up to mid to late 20s nowadays. Theo nly differences come when when women have babies as they tend not to marry the office cleaner but the MD, greedy little aviricious things though they are. They hvae a subconscious desire to marry a good provider. I wish it were not so and hopefully it will change.

Also, Xenia I see you are back to your normal posts.
I would like to say to you, that because your self worth is all wrapped up in what you do, that it is always wise not to do that, as what happens if say you have an accident of some kind, and cannot work for whatever reason.
That does not make that person any less of a person in my eyes.

avar...