school drop off...

[purpleshark]

When I take my DD to school, i treasure that time and spend that time with her, talking to her, sharing cuddles. There are lots of mums there who ignore their children, too busy talking. There are mums that i know get there nearly an hour before school opens, so they can talk to other parents. If i'm that early, i take DD to the park just down the road. I love that i get to take her to school every morning. After dropping her off, i then have to speed walk to work. I also have to put DD in after school club each day, although 4 of those days, its only for about 30 minutes, but means i don't meet any parents at pick up time. I look around when i do drop off and there are lots of parents chatting, laughing etc with each other. Sometimes i wish that i could be one of them (that also keep an eye on their children too though) but then i look at my DD and think, nope, i'd rather be here with her, talking to her. I do feel like a loner when i do pick up at the normal time, they are all stood round chatting, waiting for the school doors to open and i'm stood there, alone. But i guess thats the price you pay eh.

I talk to my ds on the way to school, but I also talk to other parents as well. I don't stand there for hours or go out of my way just general chatting. It's nice to hear about how other children are doing in my ds's class or how their dc was talking about my ds at home etc.

It is possible to talk to a friend and be watching your dcs play with their friends you know

I find it hard to believe that any parent would get to the school playground an hour before school, so they could chat with other parents. I mean, come on....

@BackforGood i work with one of the mums and she's said before that her friends who she talks to before work have been there up to an hour before the doors open, just to meet up and chat. Madness! And yes i know its possible to chat to friends and watch DC play, haven't said it wasn't. But there are lots of parents there that don't seem to manage that. I'd rather spend my time talking to my daughter about what we're going to do after school, or what she's looking forward to at school that day.
@pinkyp I agree, it is nice to hear about how other children are doing in your childs class etc. I just need to start trying to talk to them at the start of the day lol

Maybe you're just a Better Mother than they are!

The whole thread seems odd! Just get there on time and pick up on time- don't worry about others they are probably quite pleasant if you speak to them.

Unless they think you're judging them for not interacting with their children enough, of course.

Well it's up to you how you choose to judge other people's parenting (or indeed why you choose to judge other people's parenting).

A more generous person might look around and think what an advantage these lucky parents are able to give their children in building links to the local community and forming friendships with other mums.

I am rather shy myself and wasn't brilliant at the playground talk, but I never felt the need to think that made me a better parent- nor a worse, just a shy one.

I love ignoring my children while they play with their friends in the playground. I talk to them on the way to school and back and when we are at home. They know I am always available if they need me.

They also love having the freedom to play with their friends in a safe place without me hovering over them watching and commenting on their every move.

Are you actually giving them time to chat to friends- do you invite their friends home? Do you bother to get to know their friends?

I must be the worst mother in the world. I drop ds (7) off at school and don't even get out of the car. We have 9 mins en route to chat and for ds to eat his breakfast. That seems plenty to me and I don't see him at all most evenings, mind you I see him at weekends too so I'm really spoiled

What an odd post. I used to talk to DD on the way to and from school and at home, of course, but it didn't preclude me from talking to other parents.

It isn't one or the other - you can do both. You don't say how old your DD is, but I assume that at some point she will form friendships with other children in her class. It is a good starting point for you to become friendly with the other parents. My best friend is the mum of the girl that was DD's best friend at primary school.

Reading between the lines I get the impression that the other parents might find you a bit aloof and stand-offish.

What an odd thread.

Are you trying to say you are better than the others?

Hmmmmmm If you are really saying you wish the other mums would talk to you, just try dropping in a remark about somethign they've all done or whatever. I am sure they will chat.

Personally I always let my DC play with their mates before school - if I want to talk to them there was plenty of time on the way there or even at home!

Ok, so mums should only talk to their kids and not be friends with other mums?

And because they like meeting up with other mums, they are missing out on kids?

And you work and have kids in afterschool care, do you not see the irony?

Has it occurred to you that perhaps these other mums work much less hours and so have loads of time with their dc away from school ? Drop off and pickups are a very small window and so mums use it to enjoy chatting with each other secure in the knowledge that they have long evenings with their children that you dont.

I don't even take my own child to school 3 days out of 5, what must you make of me?

I haven't meant for this thread to make it sound like i'm judging others parenting skills, I'm not saying i'm better than any other parent!! Maybe i didn't explain myself very well, reading what you've all commented, i'm guessing i didn't. The school where my DD goes, the parents there have their own little 'groups' and will completely ignore you when you smile and say hello. My DD has been there now for nearly 2 years, and there are only a few people that will smile back and say hello. I'm now at the stage where i just go in and spend that time with my DD and love that extra time with her. Yes it would be nice to have a chat with some of the mums, but it hasn't happened like that. My DD goes off and plays with her friends if they are in the playground at the same time as we are. When i say that the parents aren't watching their children when they are talking, i mean they will be sat there and the children will be playing around in the carpark near the school when they are chatting, so in that instance, yes i am judging, because allowing children to play in a carpark is not safe. I would love to be able to get there and pick my DD up from school like the other parents, but she goes to afterschool club so i'm not. And @nailak yes i work and have a child in after school club, and i do believe that is you judging me! I have no other choice but to do that, so i will not feel bad about it!

"There are lots of mums there who ignore their children, too busy talking."

"her friends who she talks to before work have been there up to an hour before the doors open, just to meet up and chat. Madness!"

"I'd rather spend my time talking to my daughter about what we're going to do after school"

I think those are the phrases that come across as a bit judgey. To be honest, I'm not quite sure what your point is. Are you upset that you don't have anyone to talk to on the playground when you are there (in the mornings)? Or do you not want to be talking to other mums because you prefer talking to your child?
Your comment "But i guess thats the price you pay eh." has confused me too.
For the record, in 26 years of teaching, I've never seen any parents turn up an hour early in the mornings to chat.

As soon as i get into the playground my dc's run off, they would much rather play with their friends than be stuck to me, plent of time to kiss and cuddle at home and weekends are for going to the park , the parents i see in the playground are the only adults i get to talk to. And surely showing your children how to be sociable is just as important as having time together?

So there are people who would get to school at, say, 8am - to chat? Getting up early, having breakfast, getting dressed, teeth cleaned etc to leave the house for 7.30am? Just to chat?

I'm hardly in the school playground long enough to do anything - we get there 8:50 and the whistle goes at 8:55. I only get there at 8:00 if I am taking DC to breakfast club. And there are no other mums in the playground then - just the caretaker doing caretakerly things.

DS goes round to the juniors on his own so I'm not even with him. And DD plays with her friends. I sometimes have a quick word with other people but there's really not much time for it.

Both my kids would have been horrified if I'd tried to kiss and cuddle them in the school playground. And they're cuddly kids on the whole!
DD in particular would run off to play but liked me to stay around until the last minute. Occasionally I'd try and slope off with a wave, but she'd say "mummy, just stay and chat like the other mums won't you?"

Its nice for your child if you can socialise with the other parents - why not make the effort?