What should a child know how to do when they start school?

[zebra]

4yo DS is very disinterested in writing, holding a pencil properly, learning the alphabet, numbers, etc. He can usually count and read the numbers 1-10. For various reasons we haven't got him into preschool/nursery/playgroup this term, and unless we decide to stretch our meagre income he likely won't be in any preschool before he starts school next autumn, either.

Does it matter? Should we pay for playgroup, after all (long story why we can't get the usual free places). What skills does a child really need when they start reception class?

They don't need any other than an ability to play with other children and listen to an adult I guess.

I did teach DS1 to write his name and to copy letters. I've noticed that not every child in his class can write their name legibly though.

If you want to teach your DS any thing, make it as part of a game so that he doesn't realise he's learning anything. I wouldn't force it though.

Practical skills, mostly, zebra - coat on and off, undressing and dressing, fastening shoes, using the loo, managing lunch, fitting in with the others, listening, being quiet when necessary etc. The academic stuff is much less important.

When ds1 started in september, we were given a booklet to fill in, asking what he can and can't do. I don't think there is anything especially that they have to do, but the school just likes to know what help could be needed. It would help if he could go the the toilet, get dressed, that sort of thing, as Janh said, but don't worry too much if he can't.

Gosh this thread is reassuring, so far!
A friend said that in some ways it's better the less academic stuff they know when they start school, because then it's all new and they find it more interesting. Do you think that's true?

I think being able to wait is important as well (as in queuing and waiting your turn). Ds1 is totally unable to wait but he gets away with it (well he gets removed from the room), but I will be ensuring ds2 can wait before starting school. Also as other have said, manging coats, getting changed, toilets, and eating.

Wouldn't worry about reading and writing etc although it would be useful if he can recognise his name.

I agree with all here about the practical stuff being really important.

I don't agree Zebra though with your friend on the 'academic' stuff. It depends on the children as to what they are ready for, when. Both my boys could read pretty well before school, knew numbers etc., (though didn't write). But they have never bored at all - they love school and learn loads and loads. Having sound basic literacy/numeracy skills before they started was a boost to their confidence and their school careers, it certainly hasn't caused them to think school isn't interesting.

You have to bear in mind that a reception class covers a huge range of ages and abilities, so teachers are used to providing material to challenge, stretch, and stimulate each child at the appropriate level.

I think concentration is a very important skill to practice - reception classes tend to be very busy, noisy places. If your ds learns to concentrate on something at home, and persevere to the end of a task/game/toy - then he will find it easier at school.

A primary school teacher friend said that the one thing she wished all newbies could do was concentrate to the end of a(n age appropriate) task.

My dd starts reception next September and I've been wondering the same thing Zebra.
At the moment aged 3.5 she is no where near writing her on name, in fact she cant write any letters at all but does do her own pretend writing which is lots of little circles.
Having said that she can recognise most letters of the alphabet, but I can't help worrying a little.

My children start in Jan too, zebra, and we've just had some info through which mentions:

*using the toilet independently, including raising the seat for boys, wiping, flushing and washing hands

and

*using a knife and fork

as two importantant things to encourage before they start.

Must confess I'm a bit worried on both these counts, personally! Wiping bums is seen as mummy's job in this house despite all my best efforts- and believe me I've tried!- and I sometimes feel a bit queasy as I watch them cram food into their mouths with their bare hands. I'm hoping peer pressure will kick in very quickly...

My barely 2yo is keener to clean her bum than her 4yo brother... I am thinking to bribe the 4yo with chocolate to make him learn, when we get closer to the school entry date!

This thread has been useful, though, I can suddenly see the value of them recognising their own names, for instance.

Charlize - pretend writing is FANTASTIC - it is really good for children, and teachers very much encourage it at the moment for early years. (Neither of my boys have ever done this, despite much encouragement!) Apparently pretend writing is brilliant at this age. If she wants to, get her to 'read it back to you'.

Re name recognition - if your child has a popular name, they need to recognise their surname too, or at the very least the first letter. This can be quite hard on kids, but if there are three Jamies in a class, they can soon get in a muddle!

Yes, I'd agree with the name recognition, definitely. When each of my children started school the first thing the teacher did was to hold up name cards one at a time and say "now can anyone tell me what this says". It worked quite well, as each child was able to identify their own name and thus were kind of introduced to the others. They could all do it quite confidently, and of course it helps them find their peg and so on.

Scummymummy, at the risk of stating the blindingly obvious, it won't matter about cutlery if they have packed lunches- is that not an option? My 5 year old dd certainly can't use a knife with any skill at all, but she has sandwiches, so it's not an issue. Most of her anxieties about school have centred around lunch, so I'm really glad she doesn't have cutlery issues to deal with on top of everything else!

Mmm, I forgot about recognising their own names being helpful. DS2 is called Sam, when he started there were 4 Sams in his class and he and another both had 6 letter surnames starting with H and ending with n (and they were in the same class for Y1 - Y3 too!)

However their coat hooks, trays and all their books had labels with a different image as well as the name - I think he had a cow...

Thanks Kmg
I feel much better now. She does read it back to me, also she loves to pretend shes the teacher reading something to the class.
In fact she loves pretending full stop. Whereas mt 2 boys where never much into imagination.
Another thing I've noticed, With my boys I concentrated on Educational books, flash cards etc, but with my dd i realised it is more important for them to develop a love of stories.
I read my dd much more exciting stories rather than concentrating on boring letter work and so far this seems to have worked.
She LOVES books but my 2 ds hate them.
It is a struggle to get my 11 yr old to read at all.

If you want to start teaching letters etc. the advice from ds's school was to check with the relevant school how they teach letters and sounds etc. as it can be very confusing for the child if you teach one way and the school teaches another. They also said that in reception the work they do is mostly play orientated, so that they don't realise that they are actually working.

Zebra
A different point...

You say you can't afford for pre-school - don't you get nursery grants where you live. We get about £40 per week which covers about 3 half days of nursery.

It may be worth investigating, but only if you want him to go to preschool. The comments here are very encouraging so you may not want him to! I must admit if I didn't work I would rather enjoy those last few months before big school gets them forever!!

dd1 has been in nursery since sept and its not about being academic at all atm. at her parent/teacher consultation meeting they were pleased with her 'wrok' which is mainly about self awareness, social skills and be able to listen to others. around xmas they are possible be assessing her academic skills as well.
i enquired about nursery/pre-school place for her just before her 3rd bday, in june they let me know they had a place for her. she goes every afternoon for 2.5hrs and loves it. she has been asking she before her 3rd birthday when she was going to school. when she goes full days i think she is really going to enjoy it.

jmb I dont know whether this is zebras case but if you dont put your childs name down for grant funding before a certain date - you dont get grant funding...stupid but true

Yes, that's the problem, JMG and FIO2 we missed the application dates twice this year. Sudden trip to do with family death in April and very unusual collapse of our house sale in September. We are trying to move to Norfolk, and because of timing and over-subscription of places there, we may be too late to get DS into any of the funded places in Norwich, either. I was feeling very frustrated about it last night... We have decided that we can afford to pay the £3.50/session 2x/week, assuming any places are available for DS locally, but it's something to think about carefully, because our only income is from me working 2-3days/week. [I work in the University sector, so you know it's not that well paid!]

DD's nursery has "can do" charts on the wall. There are lots of simple tasks and when the staff have seen a child do something they get a sticker. The range in tasks is amazing, it includes hanging up coat, putting on gloves, separate stickers for going to the loo, fliushing, washing hands with soap, drying hands(!), physical thinkgs like pedalling a trike, throwing a ball , fine-motor skills like threading beads and using scissors. There are a few "academic" items for the pre-school year group including tracing letters, holding a pencil and so on.

TBH I think pre-school is most valuable from a "socialization" point of view. As others have mentioned turn-taking, sitting quietly, putting hands up to ask questions and so on. I've also found that DD (who was no shrinking violet) is a lot more confident in dealing with other kids. The playground politics amazes me, but I'm glad that she's getting into it as I imagine that it would be quite a shock to have deal with louder/pushier kids and the usual squabbles if she hadn't had this experience.

On the recognising own name front. At DS's nursery from age 2 each child has a peg with their name and also photograph. Thus, DS aged 2.9, has recognised his name for a few months.

Batters - re your comment about academic differences within a class.

Last year I helped in a year1 class, and was stunned at the variation in abilities across the class, but this is completely normal. In year 1 the actual age of the children still plays a part too. I didn't know these children in reception, so couldn't comment as to the correlation between achievement/success in year1 and their abilities BEFORE reception.

However, I am now helping in a year3 class, and was stunned to discover that the gap in fact has widened almost out of sight. I discussed this with the teacher, and soon realised that it is inevitable.

Obviously I can't comment on the difference between these children when they started reception, because I don't know!

Yes, that is definitely my experience - albeit limited to knowledge of only a few classes.

Last year in the class I helped with there with a couple of children whose parental support bordered on neglect, and sometimes I would come home and cry about them. The odds are so stacked against them - and they are only 5 years old!