What should a child know how to do when they start school?

[zebra]

4yo DS is very disinterested in writing, holding a pencil properly, learning the alphabet, numbers, etc. He can usually count and read the numbers 1-10. For various reasons we haven't got him into preschool/nursery/playgroup this term, and unless we decide to stretch our meagre income he likely won't be in any preschool before he starts school next autumn, either.

Does it matter? Should we pay for playgroup, after all (long story why we can't get the usual free places). What skills does a child really need when they start reception class?

I actually expected the year 3 children to be less broadly ranging in their abilities ... in retrospect I'm not sure why I thought this - maybe just the idea that they'd just done SATs. But it's not at all logical, and is certainly not the case at all. The high flyers are just out of sight of the rest of the class.

Anyway - just wanted to point out that I also shared your assumption that 'the gap would lessen and lessen as time went on'

kmg1, what sort of things have you noticed re lack of parental support? I'm just rather intrigued/ horrified/ nosy.

Droile, I must be nosy too. I would also like to know.
From my experience though I think kids ahead in reception are likely to stay ahead right through primary level.
Once in senior, earlier advantages become less apparant in some cases.
Also that old chestnut of what month your child is born can be a BIG advantage in early yrs.
I would hate for my August born child to start reception at just 4.

Just to reinforce what is being said here - I recently had a long chat with a year 5 teacher who said the range of abilities widened year by year, and that by year 5 it was stunning. And that was in a private school with pretty amazing results. So I think its endemic and seems to be a recognised trend. As others have said - not what I expected intuitively.

Droile - by lack of parental support I mean in a school where parents are supposed to listen to children read every day, and their reading record is rarely signed at home, maybe a couple of times a month; when children regularly forget to bring their books in at all; homework not completed and returned on time; when anything that goes home is not acted upon - e.g. please bring in a cardboard box to make a model/party clothes for the Christmas play/a signed permission form for an outing. All these things are just indicators - of course sometimes notes/messages get lost, but teachers soon build up a picture of the level of support at home, especially when the teacher has to chase up the parents for permission signatures, missing books, etc.

My comment about neglect would refer to children who arrive in school dirty, smelly, wearing filthy clothes, unbrushed hair - often lice-ridden too. I often send ds2 to school in a slightly grubby sweatshirt (since reading a thread on here!), but some children come in to school and their whole appearance tells you that no-one cares about their presentation.

We live in a fairly deprived area, but our school (which is fantastic by the way) has a very broad catchment area - so we get children from some of the most advantaged and most disadvantaged backgrounds in the town.

Feel I have to clarify myself here. Some of the best cared for children, with the most supportive home backgrounds, can be the children of single parents on benefits. The financial situation of the family is certainly not a life-sentence for the child.