Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

just pulled my child from school please i need support!!!!

76 replies

muma3 · 19/01/2006 10:59

just took my daughter out of school , she is a very emotional child and has put up with bullying for 4 years now. i am not happy with the schools way of dealing with the matter of bullies and it has left her very withdrawn . i have been to the school and spoke to the head several times . my daughter has has her arm broken and her clothes pulled down in the playground just to name a few incidents. i have contacted the local ewo and led and informed them what i have decided. i put my desicion in writing and gave it to the head when i saw her yesterday . she was'nt happy to put it mildly because she was very quick to point out that it makes her look bad . she has recently been off sick due to having an operation and even went to the extent of saying i sgould of phoned her like i have her ward number ??????
any way i just want to hear from any other parents who have had rouble with bullying and any parents that teach there children a home?
please help . my HV and ewo have been supportive as have family and other mums and the school

OP posts:
Mog · 20/01/2006 19:34

To all you mums who are coping with bullying I just want to send waves of strength. NO-ONE has the right to do this to your children and it makes me so angry. there was a really interesting programme on BBC3 the other night where Kym Marsh was interviewed by a psychiatrist and revisited the bullying she had experienced at secondary school. I was really impressed by her and it was a really good lesson in overcoming adversity and I would imagine you could get a copy if you contacted the BBC.

Waves of support to you all.

Spidermama · 20/01/2006 19:38

The Home Education group Education Otherwise has a great deal of useful info, support and advice on the subject of bullying. They have a Yahoo group which often has very good supportive threads on the subject, as well as advice on schooling or not.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. No-one should have to go through this.

brightstar1 · 20/01/2006 19:39

saw that too mog,really good,bought back some bad memories of my own.

teddyedwards · 20/01/2006 23:42

i took my 13 year old son out of school due to dyslexia. He was getting no help and in fact i was told by school that it could take 2.5 years to have him tested by an ed. psych.I had him tested privately and was told he was above average IQ and should not be in special needs for everything.Gave report to school and was totally ignored.By this stage he was bunking off with the kids with real probs even when i physically placed him in the school office. I decided i would rather teach him at home so took him out of school. I know this is not the same situation but what i did was write a letter to school and asked them to inform the local education welfare officer. I also asked for her to come and see me so i could explain the situation and also get advice on where to get help with dyslexia. She gave me a list of places to get help, although most cost money and i couldn't afford it. (Apparently you get no financial help if you home educate).The best bit however was that i knew where my son was, and that he was safe,even if he didn't get any exams. Nobody from any education dept. ever contacted me or visited to check on anything, which i thought was odd.If you contact them first you will be in the driving seat and that will give you a feeling of confidence. And in any case, i think education is not just about books and reading and writing. Its about life. My 17 year old is now at college , everyone loves him and he can talk for england. His friends that he had at school are still friends so if you can keep up some sort of social life for your daughter that would be good. Apart from that ,dont worry, it will be fine

muma3 · 22/01/2006 13:32

thanks for all your posts. dd1 at her dads this weekend but friday she was totally confused and drained . i explained my actions and plans for future and she seemed to be happy with it. i am expecting a stressful week ahead . expecting more phone calls and possibly visits. i went to the libary friday and wh smith and got her lots of books and work books for her to keep up with learning. it was strange because it was the happiest i have seen her for a long time. wont pressure her into school work just yet she seems to rundown to get her head round anything. got another appointment tmw to get a referral to family center to have councilling so hopefully that should come through quite quickly.

i just want my lil girl back she seems to have grown up so quickly and has lost her innocence ( drastic i know ) but things seem to be fastforwarded with her iyswim

thanks again and will keep posting to let you know how my week goes

sympathy to all who have been through this or are going through it now xx

OP posts:
Freckle · 22/01/2006 14:28

Muma3, I pulled DS1 out of his primary school last May for exactly the same reasons - bullying which the school, despite assurances to the contrary, couldn't or wouldn't deal with.

It had become so bad that DS1 had thought about killing himself - I didn't find out about that until later. His self-esteem, never very high to start with, went through the floor and he became depressed and withdrawn. By withdrawing him from the school, he knew that we believed him and supported him fully and that is terribly important to children in this position. Your daughter will have that feeling now and you have absolutely done the right thing for her.

I can thoroughly recommend the Kidscape website mentioned below. See if you can get her on one of their Zap courses - this is for vicitims of bullying. DS1 attended one (I went too and it was pretty theraputic for me too) and was able to see that he wasn't the only child going through this, that he could and did make friends easily with the other children and that there are people out there willing to help and to believe in him.

He is now at secondary school and doing extremely well.

Your daughter is a little younger than he was (he was in Y6), so I would look into other schools in your area unless you are happy to home-educate. DS1's old school really sat up and took notice when I withdrew him (I did also inform the LEA of my reasons). During National Anti-bullying week last November, they ran a series of activities and got Kidscape involved. In fact a member of Kidscape visited the school to run a number of course and was also instrumental in drawing up a new and more effective anti-bullying policy for the school.

Your daughter probably feels you are the best mum in the world at the moment, because you have gone out on a limb to defend her, so stop thinking you have failed her or are a crap mum. You're not.

firestorm · 22/01/2006 20:20

just wanted to add my support muma3 & send you and your dd big hugs.

Arabica · 22/01/2006 21:27

Wow, muma3, I wish I'd had a mum like you when I was being bullied! Don't be intimidated by the adult bullies at your DD's school--you're doing the right thing.

swedishmum · 22/01/2006 21:45

Muma3, her being happier says it all. If she wants to get on with work, great. If you want to CAT me at any point I can let you have some websites I found helpful when I was teaching my lot at home. Things will get better from here. You stood up to the school and the bullies and she'll always be proud of you for that.
Teddyedwards, your post really interested me. Am thinking of taking ds out of school for the same reason. I'm currently doing a specialist dyslexia course (because of him) and can see how his needs as an able chid with a specific difficulty aren't being met - eg in group for literacy with much less able learners. He's happy but not doing as much as he should in some areas. So glad it worked out well for you. See? We don't all knit with muesli!

teddyedwards · 22/01/2006 22:45

Swedishmama, glad i'm not the only one that thought my child was getting a raw deal. Trouble is special needs covers such a large area that anyone who doesn't quite fit in the box is shoved in anyway. If my son was happy and not bunking off i may have left him in school, but i saw him go from happy boy to totally withdrawn and thinking he was stupid. For a child of at least average intelligence to be reading reception class stuff (peter and jane, janet and john etc- sorry ,showing my age there)when with a bit of encouragement they can read stuff their parents can read, must be soul destroying. He is much better at maths than me- i wasnt allowed to do 'O' level or CSE maths, had to do arithmetic which i think is a consolation exam, even though i did o level english at age 14 because i was capable of doing it then. So we all learn some things better than others and i think all special needs kids should be judged on each area of learning and not just put in a box labelled 'you don't fit so we'll put you in here.' Sorry to hijack thread mama3, and go on, but it makes me cross.

KateF · 22/01/2006 23:13

Muma3 - I wish I had had a mum like you when I was being bullied. My parents refused to do anything on the grounds that it was a "good school". I went through 4 years of hell. Your daughter will always remember that you cared enough to do something. Good luck

brimfull · 22/01/2006 23:28

well done for sticking up for your dd .

I'm shocked at the schools attitude .

Hope your dd feels better and confident again soon,you're doing the right thing.

muma3 · 23/01/2006 14:42

just got back from docs. had to go back to get referred as the family center wouldnt take us without a referral. all sorted !
another step closer to having my daughter back. she seems so relieved to have the plans in action. she is alot happier today and it shows. think that when she is happier then i am , in return she is happier iyswim.

havent heard anything from the school today or led so ..... bit strange?

things are on the up .
keep you posted xx
thanks for all the support

OP posts:
Arabica · 23/01/2006 16:15

KateF, that's exactly what my parents said! A good school doesn't condone bullying. A good school has effective policies in place to deal with it.

muma3 · 21/02/2006 19:57

right just to let you all know .
we have got a new school and she started there monday .
she is going to the family center and everything is on the turn.
she absolutly loves her school and is so much more happier. she now realises that she doesnt have to put up with bullying any more and realises that its normal to be happy and to get on with people. she has made new friends and has settled in really well .
i have moved dd2 to the same school and she is loving it also . made loads of friends and is really happy.

things have a long way to go yet and i know it will be a struggle
dd1 is still not herself and i think it will be a long time before she is anything near being happy. she is having sessions at the center every week and she does a lot of play . she gets on wit the women and is looking forward to her next appointment.

ill post if anything changes

thats if anyone is still checking

OP posts:
swedishmum · 21/02/2006 20:05

Glad to hear it's going well so far. Best of luck to your dd - seems she's getting the right support.

Faith8 · 21/02/2006 20:26

Hello muma3, I have only just found this site. My daughter has been bullied and I am considering home educating. We haVe been through this for about a year now and the pressure is so great. She is withdrawn, depressed, angry, frustrated and bored. I could continue but in a nut shell, I am so afraid to make the decision of home educaing (even though I know I am capable) the decisions I make now will affect her future. If I get it wrong, it is her future that suffers. I have tried so many agencies, with no help from the school. The only thing they did was to put more pressure on her, by telling her that if she didn't go to school, I would go to prison. SICK!! She is 14 years old, by then way and extreemly bright.

Hulababy · 21/02/2006 20:32

muma3 - glad that things are looking more positive.

Mog · 21/02/2006 20:32

Muma3 - I'm sooo pleased for you all. I hope your daughter can move forward now and well done you.

littlemisspiggy · 22/02/2006 14:25

Muma3 - I cannot add anymore to the responses you have already received except to add my dismay at the first school's attitude, my support and encouragement as regards taking legal action against that school (as someone else said it's the only way schools might start to take these matters more seriously by putting the children's interests first not their purses or reputations). Glad to hear your daughter is now starting to feel happier. No child should have to go through this.

Br4duck · 19/07/2016 16:46

Most people will be bullied or teased at some point. But breaking someone's arm, that's messed up...

FellOutOfBed2wice · 19/07/2016 16:47

ZOMBIE ALERT this thread is ten years old! Shock

pegomassive1 · 19/07/2016 16:49

I do not get how these threads get resurrected!!! Or how posters don't see the big ZOMBIE next to the post area Confused

FellOutOfBed2wice · 19/07/2016 17:00

The same poster has reanimated a few this afternoon.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 19/07/2016 17:02

Anyone using the phrase 'that's messed up' is a teenager.

Schools holidays.