just pulled my child from school please i need support!!!!

[muma3]

just took my daughter out of school , she is a very emotional child and has put up with bullying for 4 years now. i am not happy with the schools way of dealing with the matter of bullies and it has left her very withdrawn . i have been to the school and spoke to the head several times . my daughter has has her arm broken and her clothes pulled down in the playground just to name a few incidents. i have contacted the local ewo and led and informed them what i have decided. i put my desicion in writing and gave it to the head when i saw her yesterday . she was'nt happy to put it mildly because she was very quick to point out that it makes her look bad . she has recently been off sick due to having an operation and even went to the extent of saying i sgould of phoned her like i have her ward number ??????
any way i just want to hear from any other parents who have had rouble with bullying and any parents that teach there children a home?
please help . my HV and ewo have been supportive as have family and other mums and the school

I changed my dds school this christmas for similar reasons, except it was verbal bullying rather than physical. We moved her to a different local school and she is loving it. She seems a lot more confident and is definately a lot happier. Have you looked at any other local schools for her? She may be feeling a bit confused about home schooling if she doesn't know any other home-ed kids. I believe there are lots of groups around & I'm sure they would be happy to meet you and your dd so you could see if it was right for her.

i havent ruled out her going to another school but at the moment she is withdrawn and depressed and hasnt got any confidence in anything . i feel that to get any chance of her being able to settle into school life again i need to get her into counsilling and then when she is stable i will send both my dd's to a different school in my area

Best of luck to you natural instinct to protect your offspring no matter what the age. My kids are much younger so have no real advice but wish you well.

Make sure that you stress that it was a problem with the school, and not her. It's surprising how much kids blame themselves for being picked on. I also realised that dd2 was getting worried when I got stressed about things happening at school, and starting to feel guilty. I'm sure things will start getting better soon, you have done the right thing and it will definately be the best thing for your dd.

Just to say that I also think you have definately done the right thing in removing your DD from school.

No experience personally as DD is too young yet but best friends 2 boys have both been bullied at local primary and it has been upsetting to see the effect this has had on both of them especially the younger one. Now that older one is at secondary he is like a different child. Will not be sending DD to this school BTW.

Good luck in finding a new school/home ed.

sorry to hear your dd has been having a terrible time at school, sounds like the school have not handled the situation well at all, if the same kid has been allowed to continue to get away with bullying your child,sounds like the head is trying to go for the sympathy vote by say this bully has additional needs, well i have three kids with additional needs (autism) they have never hit or bullied anyone but they have been bullied themselves, if a child has a history of aggresion then why is he not given one to one.i hope your daughter gets her confidence back soon

just had the school on the phone, there is a lady there who deals with emotional and behavioural problems and she has been spending time with dd1. she phoned to see what was going on and i feel like she was bullying me to get me to send dd1 back . they are going to be in trouble and i feel like they are now trying to avoid this . i doesnt seem like they ahve my daughters interests in mind at all . she was patronising and told me to think about it over the week end , how rude!
like i would jump into this lightly !!!
if my dd1 was to go back to school it defenitly wouldnt be there . they also said that they wont be providing her work which i was led to believe . we will see when i get this pack . think she was suprised to see that i had already spoke to people and knew about it all .
will post when something else happens , sure it wont be long !!!

Her arm was broken? She was physically assaulted at school and they did nothing?! A council up here is being sued for a similar incident, and quite right. A school is council property, same as a pavememt, yet if an assualt occurs there they do FA about it. If someone broke someone's arm in an assualt on teh pavement they'd be facing charges. But it's okay if it happens in school?!

WTF?!

Damn right to pull her out!

I think it's time to get the police involved.

I don't fancy frivolous litigation, but the behaviour schools allow to continue unchecked in their schools really does call for some serious action.

As stated before, a girl in Perthshire recently won legal aid to bring her case against the council in civil court after she was continually assaulted in school. They only paid attention when she went after their purse.

A broken arm- good grief. Make sure you join education otherwise (have a look on google I'm sure they'll have a website). That way if the shcoolm start spouting the law incorrectly you won't be intimidated by them. Your poor dd, hope she starts to heal emotionally as well as physically soon.

Muma3, without wanting to be vindictive to the school, I think you should try and get these incidents brought to the attention of a higher authority (police, OFSTED etc) so that the school learns the consequences of not dealing properly with such awful behaviour. OFSTED may be useful to make sure they are aware of a problem with bullying when they next check the school (and maybe if this is reflected in a report it might stop it happening to another child). Anyway, feel so bad for your daughter. Well done for having the courage to act now.

On a more positive note, does your daughter have a friend at the school that she could keep in touch with/share work with until you get settled into home education/another school? I think you said other Mums had been supportive and they could perhaps help you over the current topics being discussed?

I think you should also query with your local Council/Dept of Education whether the school is legally entitled to refuse to tell you what is being studied given the circumstances of your child's withdrawal from school.

sue them.

contact police liaison officer ( with schools)

make sure you now get everything in writing.

When I made a complaint about ds old school last year I copied it to the Governors, the LEA, the diocese (it is R/C) and also my local MP. I got replies from everyone and the situation was investigated by the Governors with the LEA supervising. It must have made a difference as a similar situation is occuring in this school again now (not bullying) and the school are apparently handling things very carefully and tryinhg hard to get it right this time. I think you should definately complain.

when i have a meeting with my local ewo- she is off sick at the moment - i will make sure that they are aware of the lack of care that my daughter recieved and that the incidents that occured are put on record with ofsted as not being investigated. it is all on medical records now especially the broken arm .

just got back from doctors and they have put her down as being depressed and are helping me to get her counsilling organised. i also stated that i honestly believe that the actions ( or lack of ) are the result of her emotional state . the nurse agreed .

the incident with her arm getting broken was last june ( 7 days after having dd3 ) i dont think getting the police involved now will really help in anyway , maybe i should off at the time

i have contacted all the people that amynnixmum mentioned so i just have to wait for the lea to arranged a visit and to get this info pack and to see how the counsilling goes for now.

in the mean time i will just continue to give her all the love and attention she deserves .
will keep posting as my story progresses
please dont forget about me !!!

and thanks xxx

Just wanted to send some sympathy - your poor daughter. You have definitely done the right thing removing her from a situation where she isn't safe. Best of luck, whatever happens next.

8 years old !! i had lovely memories of my childhood and it reduces me to tears when i think about her looking back on her life and remembering all this

where did i go wrong i feel like crap now it has ruined her life , she deserves so much better . im starting to blame myself , her dad not being around much . he is now but we will never get on (he refused mediation) . i feel like i have done my best for her and failed . i had her when i was 15 and she has been my whole life , i would do anything to change this for her .

Just a quick post only read a bit of thread but i absolutley agree I wouold of sone the same thing don't b;ame you at all - big hugs for you and your daughter.

Any child who is still officially on a schools 'books' is entitled to have school work provided for them - although because you withdrew her it may be different? I would check this out.

muma3, you are not a crap mum at all. You obviously love your dd very much and that shows. With love children can overcome almost anything. What you now have to teach her is how to turn a negative into a positive. She's had this crap experience so let's learn from this and move on, take her to self-defence classes to improve her confidence in herself, it's something I wish I had done as a child. She can come out of this a stronger and more confident little girl. And what she will remember is that you believed her, and you took action even when everyone else was pressurising you to keep her in school, you stuck up for your child. That is what she will remember.

I won't forget you!

muma 3 - just wanted to add my support and to say your dd is very lucky to have you fighting her corner so well. Keep strong.

this makes me so angry. what are we going to end up with,schools full of bullies!!!!!Then they will wonder what went wrong when its too late!The Heads are under so much pressure to make their schools look good that they wont admit to having a problem.we must all stick up for our children and get things done.

Muma3, I appreciate what you are going through about feeling like a bad mum, I was like this with my dd2. Now we've moved schools I wonder why I didn't do it ages go, but it is a really big decision to make and if you're anyhing like me, after each incident I thought it would now get sorted. The thing is that you HAVE now taken her out, and I'm sure that with your help she can get over this. My dd2 is already so much happier and now really looks forward to going to school and seeing new friends. Your dd will also start enjoying things now she knows she doesn't have to deal with the bullying any more. You obviously care for your dd a lot and she will know that, try not to blame yourself (difficult I know)

Have you tried contacting Kidscape? They are supposed to be very helpful in this sort of situation. Parents can contact one of their counsellors for advice on 08451 205 204. So sorry your poor daughter is going through this and really hope you'll be able to help rebuild things for her. Good luck.

Sending hugs your way muma3. You have done the right thing, nothing is more precious than your children.

Good luck with home schooling, I have read some excellent articles about it and it works really well, especially if you can pool teaching. There are also a couple of "internet schools", whcih will give formal teaching for about 3 hours a day, whilst you do the rest. I will try and locate the article if you are interested.

My ds1 got assaulted by another pupil getting off the school bus. This was on the last day of term before Easter, and was in direct retaliation to my complaint about his previous bullying.

The school were unprepared to do anything before school reconvened after the holiday, so I DID report it to the police - who turned up 3 days later to take the statement(that important eh?) I had taken photos (just as well) and they had a word with the boy and his parents. He gave some cock and bull story about a misunderstanding and the Police believed him and didn't take it any further. My son, although younger, is VERY tall and stocky for his age - they took one look at weedy bully and ASSUMED that my ds could fight his own battles!

The school did exclude the bully, but for only a day.

Feeling of unfairness abounds, BUT, it did stop him reoffending and ds is far more sttled now. If he hadn't been I would be doing the same as you - keeping him out.