If you could afford to send your kids to a private school, would you?

[juicychops]

or would you choose for them to go to a 'normal' state school?

just curious what your responses will be

Yes, I'm waiting to see what DS2 will turn out like as the other 3 are so different no-one would believe they came from the same gene pool!

I wonder how they find time to groom the bright ones, whilst simultaneously ignoring them to focus on the borderline C/D ones? Quite a feat!

Indeed but my experience leads me to believe that sadly, both go on though not often in the same school.

With smaller classes Elaine and 1-2-1!

Basically, at the end of the day, I know that my children are getting a better education at their private school than they would be at the state comprehensive. I am not an idiot and I wouldn't be paying otherwise!

I worked out DS gets 1-2-1 for greater than 3 hours a week

lollington, I think most of us feel that way about our school choices, otherwise I guess we'd make different ones?

Elaine
Most private school parents are "normal" (can't be sure about myself of course) and I really don't think there are many Marie Antoinette "let them eat cake types around."

I am fully aware that I spend nearly as much (or possibly more) on private school fees in a year as any of my siblings earn (they are in the S Wales valleys, that bastion of deprivation and long term unemployment the M/C ). So no amount of scrimping and saving and cutting back will allow them to send their children to private schools. Does this alter the way my sons interact with their cousins when we go and stay?

Obviously we behave like this

Im just repeating what i said yesterday but this is such a huge thread will say it again. LeQueens point is my big fear and my boys comp. 1 very very bright, the other average and around the 'c' grade I would think. Will they just be left to their own devices. It certainly seems that a lot of the attention goes on the underachievers - and getting them up to 'c' level

'Dessert' spoons, surely not :) It's actually scarily accurate which is why it's funny.

Btw - my views on grammar school changed massively when it came to my own children. i always thought it was terrible that we dont have them in this area because 'of course' it was the best thing for the children. except my gorgeous boys are individuals and not these identikit perfect children. So DS 1 would have passed 11 plus with eyes closed (so hurrah) but DS 2 would have struggled and i dont know what would have happened to him in the grammar school system.

Xenia - it seems when you chose an independent school you looked only for stellar exam results? That was the only motivating factor? Everything else that was positive is a coincidence?

When I look at some independent schools there are some that sorely tempt me and I am familiar with. These have an ethos where a child can blossom and become 'themselves' and tend to have a close knit community where pupils are genuinely fond of each other. Geeks and cool kids all rub along together very well etc. Often these don't have stellar exam results (although above average), I wonder if it's possible to get both that kind of ethos and top tier exam results?

I love your post Cortina:
"When I look at some independent schools there are some that sorely tempt me and I am familiar with. These have an ethos where a child can blossom and become 'themselves' and tend to have a close knit community where pupils are genuinely fond of each other. Geeks and cool kids all rub along together very well etc. Often these don't have stellar exam results (although above average), I wonder if it's possible to get both that kind of ethos and top tier exam results?"

I think of this as DS school to a tee. Here geeks and cool kids are friends because everyone has talent at something and with very small classes it is easier to spot and encourage. I think it would be hard for them to be top league table as part of the mix would be altered as top league are likely to be selective entry.

In making it so selective and emphasizing academics it probably makes it harder for geeks and cool to mix as it is more competitive.

Ghoul - I am hearing great things about it, and am hoping that by the time we are considering secondary, it will be a real alternative to the grammars. A friend of mine, who like us, had too many children to afford fees for them all, and who also comes from a family where our children are the first generation NOT to go to private (shock horror) went to look at it and was really impressed. As it happened, her 'borderline' DD got into the girls grammar with a very high score!

My number 3 starts primary in September - luckily we should be ok due to the sibling rule, but the catchments here are nuts now.

I could afford but didn't I was privately educated and I didn't want it for ds. It is a personal thing though and does depend on teh individual

Someone said:

"Comprehensives will never have a truly "mixed demographic" while a percentage still go to private school."

I'm quite happy for my child not to mix with the "demographic" that are squirreled away in private schools.

Inculcating a feeling among pupils that they are superior to others is endemic in private schools and that is as true today as it has always been.

"Xenia - it seems when you chose an independent school you looked only for stellar exam results? That was the only motivating factor? Everything else that was positive is a coincidence?"

It depends on the child. If your children aer bright then most paernts want them to get into a school for bright children so they'll fit in. That was the criteria. Also we're very very musical and some of the children terribly good at sport and luckily schools like Habs and NLCS are tremednous for that sort of thing anyway. I suppose very clever children tend to be good at everything.

But Genevieve, are they ever going to be a truly mixed demographic if the comp demands a house price in excess of 400 or 500k?

Where the parents all drive around in brand new Range Rovers wearing designer clothes and the kids are do ballet and horse riding and rugby at weekends?

Im not sure this is any more socially mixed.

Oh heck, I've avoided the horror that is ballet so far.

At my son's independant school the cool kids are often geeks. Its one of the things I like - it isnt 'uncool' to be swotty. But it is considered 'uncool' to be really badly behaved or rude, or a bully. I was watching educating essex with DS1 and he just didnt get why any of the kids in the programme would behave as they did. He thought they were just nuts.

DS is widely considered to be very 'cool' by his peers - he is very witty, is his year groups elected school council rep. AND he is a scholarship kid

There cannot be many schools anywhere that have a truly mixed demographic. After all, towns vary wildly in their demographic from one to the next. Certainly, here in France where there is a rigid "carte scolaire" (catchment) system in place, the schools are not very mixed - at the very best they reflect the local population but that is not representative of anything much.

Ballet is not DD1's thing at all but DD2 loves it. It bores me to tears but she's very easy-going and doesn't ask for much and it wouldn't be fair of me to impose my like and dislike onto her.

My DD1 loves ballet and believe me where she goes (and has been going for many years) there are very very few middle class people around - and I don't mean upper class people either! Bit of a myth there about ballet being an elite pursuit!!!

Really...whether ballet is the preserve of the MC wasn't the prime focus of my post. Though being driven there in your mum's 60k car could fool people!