If you could afford to send your kids to a private school, would you?

[juicychops]

or would you choose for them to go to a 'normal' state school?

just curious what your responses will be

Nope. The minute we moved ds1 from state to private we forgot every single thing we had known about the 'real word'. Doesn't everyone?

I've been pretty happy with putting 5 through private school from age 3 to 18. It is often the best. 7% of children educated there who get 50% of the best univesrity places and in later life end up being a massive percentage of the judiciary (somethin glike 73%) huge proportion of successful journalists and many many other good careers.

It is one of the best things a mother can do for her child - is pick work which enables her to pay school fees for a child at one of the top 20 day schools. Little else you can do will beat that in terms of life advantage. They might even speak better too. They certainly would not use the word kids to mean children eitehr...

Xenia! Here you are - I thought something was missing in this thread

ElaineReese "they spend more time on the core curriculum?" Not sure why you would think this. They do much more other stuff (sport, music, languages, history, geography, trips out etc etc) and have much shorter terms so quite a bit less teaching time on the basics like maths and english in my experience. However, in spite of this the standards achieved are just as high or higher and more efficient learning is something quite a few people think is worth paying for.

"Do people really pay for 'extra vegging out at home'?" It's probably not at the forefront of most people's minds when making such choices to be fair, but for many the long long holidays are a big plus and not just for more going away holidays (often unaffordable after you've shelled out for fees) but also for more time at home just vegging (this is of course offset by others for whom the long hols are a logistical nightmare).

longer days and saturday school often too so it does tend to balance out

So, Xenia, 5 children @ average 10k a year x 15 = 750k..hmm..I'd want to be more than pretty happy for that!

Why not just invest the money, they could live their lives mortgage free with a normal job that they enjoy?

Xenia I never use the word kids to refer to children (my own DC are worryingly adept at joining in with my rants on how I did not give birth to baby goats) and went to a state school.

Slightly small sample size there but every little helps :)

saturday school is very rare in day schools and boarding schools that do have saturdays it's often just for sport and those schools then get even longer hols than regular independents. Many day schools don't have more teaching hours than state ones, the day is sometimes longer, but often due to very long lunch breaks (often with many activities on offer) rather than more actual teaching time.

I agree- there are amazing teachers in state schools today but It is all about the peer group and kids are more influenced by their peers at 13 than anyone else- wrong peer group and all your good parenting is up the creek.
I have seen the end results sadly in the friends who ended up as drug addicts by getting in with the wrong crowd

If we can possibly do it we will.My brother went to private school- he got a much superior education to me and amazing sporting opportunites.

Xenia is on the money- it just makes it easier for your child to do well and who does not want to give every advantage they can to their child?
My friend works in the media and every top job goes to someone privately educated- she regrets turning down her place at Oxford two decades ago now for a red brick uni, as it is all about contacts in the media, and we all know most students at Oxbridge are privately educated.

We do, not because I necessarily think that private is best in all instances but because I do not want him to go to the schools we are zoned for. It means I have had to go back to work full time but that's a small price to pay. DS2 will join him as well. I also think it may lead to better job prospects and networking opportunities but that is partly down to the child. My friend had all 3 in private school, her ds1 left with hardly any qualifications and now cannot find a job - lazy at school. She has pulled her other 2 boys who are much happier at state school.

Yes DS goes to a private school, education is very importantto us. It is the best School in the area and there are only 10 in his class.

And most importantly, he is happy

No. School is there to prepare your child for the world. The world is full of people from a range of social classes and both genders. I hope my DC will learn how to interact with people at school, and not just learn about facts. Peers are an important resource to learn from.

I've much more to say on this subject, along the lines of 'it isn't necessarily a good thing that a high percentage of high status jobs go to people from private schools'...

Cherry, I know a great number of Oxbridge grads ( married to one) and most of the ones I know are state school. To be fair, that may because DH has a pretty rigourous degree rather than Art History or Social Anthropology .

You are right about the uni mattering, though. When DH recruits type of degree and uni are crucial. I don't think he has ever even glanced at which school they went to, nope, just checked that and he laughed at the idea that in his industry ( starting salaries about 30K for top notch top uni grads, BTW) which school you went to matters. It's all about brains!

Meant to add, he does have a fair few public school educated people in his company but that was coincidence IYSWIM? They also happened to have the required qualifications. It matters not a jot in many industries which school, only you matter and your qualifications, experience and personality.

And to add again, in DH's company four of the five Directors are state school educated but three of then have PhD's. The one from a private school doesn't.

All of this is anecdotal, of course, but it's also why I sit on the fence so much on this issue. It has simply never been an issue for DH or our friends and colleagues at his level, it's just not on anyone's radar which school they went to.

Cherry, it's fair to say that a disproportionate number of oxbridge students are from the private sector, but wrong to say that most fall into this category. I went to cambridge from a state comprehensive and there were loads of people like me at the time. Nearly twenty years later, the ratios have improved considerably.

Looks, weight, accent .. a heap of things matter in the jobs market (our oldest 3 children have graduated) but of course ability to communicate and brains/exam results matter most. Also 50% of Oxbridge is state school pupils although a massive majority of those are from the grammar schools in the few areas of the country with grammars. I think of judged 73% are private school and 20 something per cent are state grammars. Not that that's the only career but look at say the cabinet, MPs, journalist, senior accoutancy parents in the big 4 etc etc and loads will be private or state grammar.

Even amongst the few who get really good exam results from all sectors there is competition for jobs even if you're Oxbridge so then other factors matter too like ability to work hard, turning up on time, how you speak, dress, work experience

The stats are very clear.

Independently educated DC are absurdly over represented at the RG universities and on the most rigourous courses.

They are also absurdly over represented in the best paid positions and the positions with most influence (finance, board level industry, law, judiciary, media, publishing, medicine.

Whenther they would have got there anyway without there schools is a moot point.

Most highly skilled and technical industries demand top notch degrees from top unis.
DH won't expects the grads to have a 2.1, preferably a First from a top five.

No amount of cramming and money can buy you one of those. Only brains and hard work.

"No amount of cramming and money can buy you one of those. Only brains and hard work"

But the top universities have a disproportionately high intake of private school students. Do you think that's because children from well-off families are intrinsically brighter and more hard working?

What do you consider the most rigourous courses, wordfactory?
From my uni days ( top 5 btw) Art History and Social Anthropology were awash with private school people.

DH only had a handful on his course.

shagmund obviouslyy there is a link.

If you are extremely bright you can command a good salary which means your children can go to private schools which means they may have an improved shot at Oxbridge and so on and so forth.

Wealthy people often have well paid jobs because they are clever or well qualified or work hard or a combination of all of them plus a bit of luck!

Yes, and I do, because State/public schools on both sides of the world have shown a total inability to give my two dyslexic boys anything near what I consider a proper education. Non-dyslexic DD gets the benefit too - I would never have sent her private if her two big brothers weren't already there but now I see the advantages I would never do anything else.

Land Economy always seemed to be the one that the not too bright ex etonians I knew at Cambridge did - presumably to enable them to run daddys acres