Would you work Full Time to fund private education for your children

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

with you working Full time resulting in your 2 young children (Reception and Y2) having a 7:45-4:30 day every day.

Or would you work part time, send them to a 'good' state school and be at home 2 or 3 days a week, doing the vast majority of drop offs/pick ups etc.

In a nut shell, I know it's more complex than that, but WWYD?

The national curriculum really isn't that restrictive. The National framework used to be, but you didn't have to follow it if your school was good enough. My kids primary never did, and used to get asked to Downing Street to explain how they got the results they did ignoring it.

My son (not top set) year 7 studied Beowulf, he did Shakespeare at Primary, met visiting Authors etc.

I think it is key to have teachers who are enthusiastic, and to let them express their enthusiasm, whatever it might be.

But it is all about the schools in your area, what you can afford, and your child.

I might for secondary, depending on what local secondaries are like in 7 years time, and whether MrNC and I can both work full time - recently we've been doing 4 days a week each, though after dc2 I'll probably go back 3 days or do something different altogether that's more flexible.

For primary, the state primaries near us seem OK and I'm confident we can supplement the education up to the standards I expect if necessary, whereas that's more difficult at secondary level. There's one excellent secondary near us though so if it's still good and ds gets in, may well just do that (and again supplement if need be).

For reference, I went to private schools from age 3, thanks to a) mainstream schools not allowing kids with disabilities and b) becoming an expat. DP went to a 'bog-standard comp' which actually worked well for him being severely dyslexic. We met at Cambridge so our educations worked out OK for both of us.

Cortina, that teacher should have been teaching at my Oxford college - some of the world's best Chaucer experts did not have that effect on me (perhaps I am unteachable!). But state primaries have quite a lot of autonomy nowadays. DDs school names its classes after modern classical musicians, some of whom come in to perform etc and there are plenty of visiting authors too. None of that seems to speak of a school hidebound by the NC. Maybe I'm just naive.

Thank you Pissfarterleech!

We were lucky in that we managed to earn enough to keep paying the fees. Private school fees have increased astonishingly over the past decade or so. We are also lucky that our kids have thrived in academic schools dominated by the children of high earning and high achieving city folk. They both say, unlike some of their friends, that they have enjoyed growing up in central London.

Our Plan B, if we could not keep up, would have been to sell up and move elsewhere. Lots of people we know did, especially those who were freelance or who had more portable careers. Others have felt that their children did not fit into what can feel like a London Day School sausage factory.

My observation is that whereas we felt we were less well off than most people when they were at Prep school, this is not the case at Secondary. Obviously there are plenty of very rich people, but also quite a lot of people who sent their children to nice state Primaries but who are finding the money somehow to pay for private Secondary.

I worked full time because I enjoyed it thought it important that my DDs had a Mother who was fulfilled. There is no way I would have taken a job I hated to pay school fees. I don't think having an unhappy parent working to keep a child at a prep school is good for either,

I was fine with my job, liked my colleagues and felt I was making a contribution, though the ork was a step down from the role I had had before the children were born. I suspect I am someone who is happy when they are busy.

What was difficult was the juggling. Running around at weekends trying to get the shopping and housework done and get kids to parties or other activities and make time as a family. I really craved some time for myself and some time to do nothing. And there were times when I would have liked more time to support the kids either with exam revision, making a costume for a nativity play or even baking a birthday cake with them. I missed a lot of sports days.

Working full time is tough. However most of us cannot live in the idyllic village with the perfect school, or kids who breeze into Grammar school or whatever. It is a case of looking at the options available and making the best choice you can.

I am happy that the choices we made have worked out. Equally I am sure that others who chose different options will have made the right decisions, and some will feel that in retrospect they might have made different decisions. That's life. I could understand someone who did a job they did not enjoy in order to ensure their children were happy, if that is what was required.

Not at primary school, and probably not at secondary school, although that does depend on which school we are offered at secondary.

I work part time, and took a significant pay cut, when DS1 was born. We live in an area with good schools, with mixed catchment, but motivated parents.

I have friends with children at local preps and can honestly say that, around here, it just doesn't seem worth the money to go private a primary level. They are ahead at sports, and the mums have richer friends, with posher parties and school fairs, but completely honestly, that seems to be it. Just doesn't seem worth going back fulltime to finance that.

In answer to op only -- yy I do.

for secondary not primary though

Yes I do - I feel strongly about this - I had a poor state education and had to fight to get where I am today. I absolutely do not want this for my children.

Aside from the fact that I enjoy my job - giving them a good start as regards their education is a very high priority for me.

No, for one simple reason private schools have very long holidays, unless you work full time term time only it would be a child care nightmare.

Depends on the child, depends on the schools available and the means available. We sent a gifted child to the local day school - fantastic. We sent the bright, top average child to what was supposed to be one of the best London comps. How wrong were we with the latter decision - thank God we had enought to move her after Y8. Does it cost £18k per annum to put please before "return the attached slip no later than x x x". Great academically but simply not up to our standards pastorally or in the context of acceptable adult role models and please and thank you shouldn't have to cost £18,000 per annum. Basic good manners as far as I am concerned which ought to be reinforced at teacher training colleges thoughout the land.

In answer to the OP, yes, I work ft because I enjoy working. Funding private education is just a nice by-product.

Yes and I do. However my job fits in around the school hours and long holidays so its a win win situation. I have friends who find the cost of childcare during long holidays often cripples them and they find its not so easy.

No

To the op - yes, I do. Partly I love my work and like blueshoes said, paying for private schooling is a nice by-product.

I don't follow the argument that you can always supplement state school education with extra classes/tutors if you need. To me that sounds as if you are using school for childcare and arranging the significant education outside of school hours. I am confident that my dc are being educated broadly and deeply within school hours.

Something that is often commented on too is the confidence that is far more noticeable in privately educated children. Granted, as teenagers, they sometimes do not use this confidence appropriately and can be loud, brash and over-bearing, but a strong sense of self-belief can take you places in adulthood. I'm sure it's an over generalisation to say that all independently educated children are more confident than state educated children, but I believe there is a lot of truth in the thought.

I also want my dc to see me working and show them a good role model of a working woman in an equal partnership. The juggling issues take place after bedtime so they don't get to see all of the brutal reality of making World Book Day costumes at the last minute because you somehow missed the newsletter... Some things they don't need to know about!

We started dd off in a state primary and it was 'ok' (received outstanding in ofsted, but that means v little when it comes to the education/happiness of an individual). After much thought we decided that 'ok' was not what we wanted. We wanted fab. We wanted the best. We wanted dd to have the opportunity to try as many things as possible and to do all these things in small classes. We feel very lucky that, with both dh and I working ft, we are able to afford this for our dc.

In answer to OP, yes, and more.

I do two jobs to keep two DC at private school (secondary level only).

DD has less than a year to go and when the last fees for her are paid in April, I plan to drop one of the jobs, with a huge sigh of relief, and keep going at the one I really enjoy. It has been really worth it to see the difference in her, but bloody hell, it is hard going.

Yes, I did.

I taught at a comp to pay the fees for prep, which was ironically the only way I could get the wrap around child care needed for me to work as dh was posted abroad for some of the time, and could be sent to sea at any moment before that.

We left home at 0730, ds was at school until 1900, got fed three good meals a day there, and had Saturday school. It worked, and I had most of the holidays covered by my holidays.

I wouldn't. Being able to drop off my children and pick them up, and support them in homework is important to them and me. I don't believe the education they would receieve makes enough difference to make all those sacrifices. I think the research I rewad said private school pupils get about half a grade better at Alevel. Indivual tuition at Alevel is just as effective without the same comproimises. If I lived in a different area with terrible schools I may feel differently but I was very careful to choose an area with schools I wanted my children to go to. I also taught in a less than desirable school and saw how the academic students did brilliantly.

The oine biggest factor in how well a child does at school is parental support - this has more efrfect than type of school. I also do not want a traditional dull education for my children, I want new ideas and creative curriculum so often frowned upon in private exam factories schools

I would and have. It all depends on your child and what is available locally. We live in an area with good primaries and a few good/outstanding secondaries which are incredibly hard to get in to and then some secondaries that are ranked as the worst in the country. I think as someone said earlier one key is parental support ... but only if the school is safe and provides basic provision and sadly I can think of 2 schools within walking distance of my house that don't, but they are improving, I doubt I'll risk it for my youngest dc's, ds in particular finds large groups and rowdiness hard to handle and kicks off, back to work and on the fee paying wagon again! and when I look at older beautiful, successful dd's (2 private, 2 'good' state - choosen according to personality, ability and place availability), was it worth it to work and pay, every penny and more! We were lucky enough to be able to allocate my salary to their education and extra's where it was appropriate, not everyone can afford, would be lovely to live in an area with a good general standard of secondary education where you could just top up with a tutor. Here the difference between our, er, less successful secondaries and private is significantly more than half a grade stated earlier at A level, and of course you have to get a decent selection of GCSE's first, which these poorer schools aren't achieving. I look at my older girls and their old friends from primary who were of similar ability but went to less successful schools and well, I just can't comment, they were capable of so much more, and their parents think ours just blossomed, I think slightly differently.

That question can only be answered regarding a specific school.

DD's school is amazing and I would work to pay for that without a moment of hesitation. One school we looked at for DS, however, wouldn't even be considered if they were paying me to have him.

No, I wouldn't, for any number of reasons.