Academically selective V Nurturing and arty ?

[delillah247]

DD1 has been offered two scholarships for entry to year 9. Which do you chose, both have very good results, one is more academically pushy, ie maths a year early, the other has the most fantastic extra curricular facilities. DD is very academic, and really wants to be challenged. She does lots of dance etc, outside of school. Am I right in thinking that she would thrive best at the more academic school? Very confused.

I think my main concern is that she really wants challenge, taking her maths early being an example. The less pushy school, which I absolutely love, does not believe that 'hot housing' is a good thing; better to get excellent grades in 10 subjects, than good grades in 12/13 subjects. Which I totally understand, but I worry that she will not be challenged, which is our sole reason for moving her to private school, as her current school/ state system cannot/will not cater for her needs. I have fallen in love with the less pushy school, but this is not about me, its about her. She likes both schools and feels she would be equally happy at both. Maybe I should contact them both and ask for another look round with her. I don't think I have ever struggled so much to make a decision in my life !!!

If DD is academic and is up for a challenge, I'd go for the most academic school. She can do the other activities after school like she is doing now.
Well done to her!

Your dd sounds as if she will do very well whatever school she goes to. I would suggest another visit to both schools and get a good feel for them both. If you go on a normal school day you will get a better feel than on an open day. Check that both schools offer the subjects at GCSE/A level that dd is likely to want to do. You will then "know" which one is right for her, she will probably know too. Hope you both agree!

Well done your DD, OP.

If your DD1 is very academic, there is every chance she will be happier in a school that is pushier and more academic, with like minded friends.

Do you know any parents and/or children at either school? If so, ask them for advice based on their day to day experiences.

How much of a leap (workload, difficulty, etc) do you anticipate it will be for your dd in moving from current state school to private? Asking because i wonder if the transition in workload/standards/social adjustments at either school will be challenging enough on their own - without necessarily thinking the more demanding school is the better place.

Sorry not to have worded that better, but hope my point is clear (ish! )

Are both schools academically selective, or only the "pushier" one?

I would definitely send a very academic child to an academically selective school, if I could. For many, many reasons (not just results).

I think it entirely depends on the child.

DD had a choice between GS, super selective indie and less selective indie.
We went for the later because the feel was nicer (equal emphasis on the arts and sport) and the pastoral care is superlative.

Also, DD does have a tendency to push herself hard and I didn't want her to turn her school days into a drudge to keep up with some of the genius children.

I must admit to worrying that it wouldn't be sufficiently challenging, but thus far the work is certainly stretching her and the breadth is there. Rigorous setting helps of course - four sets in every subject.
She's also knee deep in choirs, drama productions, art trips, lacrosse matches etc...which is as it should be at 11.

We're six months in and it's been a resounding success (sigh of relief )

DS, however, will go to a super selective indie at 13, because he's better suited to the dry academic environment and won't worry a jot about the achievement of others as long as he's fullfilling his own potential.

Why assume an academinally selective school is not also nurturing? If it successful it is likley that it excels in all areas of puoil experience.

Academic ds also had choice between a more academic school and one which was broader in academic range and which encouraged more extra curriculars. He chose the less selective one and it seems to have been the right choice for him as he seems to thrive on all the extra stuff and it hasn't affected his academics (might even have given them a boost, who knows). One thing though that I think worked well is that although his school takes a broader academic range there is a small group of other very bright children so he is not out on a limb, which is something that I think is probably important.

Not sure that Maths a year early is a huge benefit. Depends on what they then do afterwards really.

One other thing to consider is whether your child is likely to respond best to being at the top of her class, or to being more "average".

Some children love being at the top and it encourages them. Others hate to stand out like that and so, if they are more academic than their peers, may well try to hide their ability so as not to stand out.

Definitely miniepie - some children learn better if they are explaining concepts to their friends rather than trying to keep up with them or frightened to ask questions for fear of looking stupid. But it's very tricky to determine in advance what type of child you have..

Thank you for all your help, as you may of gathered this is new terratory to me, and i am feeling a bit like a fish out of water! Without meaning to sound up myself, dd is and has always been at the top, we have spoken about how she would feel if she wasnt 'the best in the class', and she says she is fine with that as it would give her something to work to. DD doesn't have a preference, she is just happy to be given this amazing opportunity, so decision making is really difficult. Do you follow your head or heart? that is the question.

earlybird, I think transition will be fine, she is quite confident, maakes friends easily etc. In terms of work load, - bring it on, she can't wait !!

Perfect, Thank you Squidgy xx

I suppose if it lands and I don't feel happy about the outcome, there lies my answer!

DS is and always has been at the top. We have sent him to an academically selective independent but it 's not massively selective IYSWIM. He is top of his class in all subjects but is only in yr 7 so things may change. He would undoubtedly have got into the most selective school in the area but we just didn't like it, so we didn't apply. Too much nobbery. He is at a much more nurturing place with a real sense of caring and enthusiasm. Don't regret it, the teaching is very good and I'm sure he'll do very well. And be happy, which is much more important.

Tbh I think that you are placing easy stereotypes when , if either school is really as cliche as you suggest, I would be worried.

Ds1 is at a highly selective academic school. The arts and pastoral care are fantastic. And pupils are actively discouraged from doing more than 10 subjects at gcse unless they have a strong bias towards maths and sciences. Otherwise the subjects get a bit 'soft' and it is broadly a waste of time - most decent unis don't care about more than a decent quantity of a*s

Sorry, hit post too soon.
His previous school was a little less academic and sold itself equally on sport and pastoral aspects. It looked great but when ds1 was in there it was not interested in much except appearances

I agree with Pagwatch. Academic standards are not measured in just GCSEs and quite a lot of super-academic schools ( eg. St Paul's Girls') don't encourage taking loads of subjects for the sake of it. And frankly, if your daughter is really bright, no amount of GCSEs will stretch her intellectually. I'd look at other things like the range of languages taught, Oxbridge admissions, What standards are acheived in extra- curricular activities like debating etc

PS I did GCSE maths a year early, got an A, had loads of extra free periods the next year because I didn't want to do AS maths and now can barely remember my times tables, so don't be lured by that.

I probably am placing stereotypes,Pagwatch, but in my defence i have little experience of such things. I was a staunch anti-private education kinda girl, that was until my dd went into secondary state school!! The only way I can explain my perceptions are, School 1 - looks a bit like hogwarts, but less scary. lots of talk of academics, gifted and talented, some talk of extra curricular. Head Teacher very interested in dd's academic interests, successes, what she is currently doing under Gama at the mo. Head of year spoke to her mainly about her dancing, drama interests. Lessons being taken seemed very controlled. How I expected a private school to be!
School 2 - Set in 60 acres, beautiful old house, bright new builds, sculptures in the grounds, own theatre. Head Teacher less interested in academic achievements, spoke mainly of extra curricular, music,drama etc. But also no gifted and talented, he feels not necessary, No debating until 6th form. Lessons seemed much more relaxed. A much lighter, dare I say, laidback feeling.
DH, says School 1, as that is what he feels he is paying for, DD won't make a decision for fear of regretting it, me I'm just bloody dizzy from thinking too much!!!