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Original poster

Is a 16 mile school run feasible??

27 replies

Bradsmum · 21/03/2011 17:24

Hi
Due to a change in circumstances, might have to move to a different town but ds is in a lovely school and want to keep him there. Is a 16 mile/40 min school run a ridiculous idea?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bradsmum · 21/03/2011 17:31

Bump..
Any thoughts pls?

OP posts:
LifeInTheSlowLane · 21/03/2011 17:33

At my DCs school plenty of people seem to come from a long way away so I don't think its completely unfeasible. Points I'd consider:

1 It's the time rather than the distance that's important - I only have to go three miles but the road is terrible and can sometimes take 1/2 hour!!

2 How long would you have to do it for - is it primary or secondary (if secondary will he be able to do it by himself at some stage?). If its only for a couple of years might be worth it rather than having to go through the hassle of changing school.

3 If its a primary - is it better to change schools now so he has chance to make new friends before secondary? (if his original school friends are likely to go to different secondary)

4 Are other circumstances likely to change - ie going back to work/changing jobs that make the school run more difficult.

Original poster
Bradsmum · 21/03/2011 17:39

Thanks for thoughts LITSL.

  1. Would involve M25 so anticipate around 40-45 mins. Agree with roads - currently do 5 miles but takes around 25 mins..
  2. It's for primary - ds in Y3 so would be for 3 years.
  3. Going through divorce so don't want to disrupt ds more than already
  4. Am job hunting so would fit that in around...

It seems on the face of it doable, bearing in mind holidays, time with dh etc so there would be breaks and with the alternative being changing schools. Just interested in other views to see if I am being unrealistic..

OP posts:
ragged · 21/03/2011 17:43

I know people who do it... I think they're insane, but they seem satisfied.

What happens when you get home and spot the child's lunchbox on the kitchen table? Will you shrug about driving all the way back again? Will you mind being far away if the school rings up to say child has a high fever or has been vomitting? Are the roads generally good & clear -- can you afford all the extra petrol?

Sometimes we don't hear that schools closed due to snow until 30 min. b4 classes due to start, you'd be 10-15 min. down the road by then.

Gets even more complicated if you have 2 DC at that faraway school. What happens if child2 is picked up at 3pm, but child1 has been invited to a playdate somewhere 15 mins. in the other direction (a playdate due to end at 6pm, will you simply decline the invite or...?) What about After school clubs for one child but not the other?

Sometimes an afterschool club gets booked but then gets cancelled last minute, so you get a text at 2:45 about cancelled club, and you will be a minimum 30 min. late to pick up, how popular will you be with the staff?

LillianGish · 21/03/2011 17:46

I think it's feasible, I suppose you can suck it and see. I always think that with younger children it is better to bite the bullet and move them asap so they can start settling in - I think the younger they are the more adaptable they are. Also easier to help settle him in while you're not working - if you get a job and then you have to move him it might be harder. (Not much help amI?!)

Original poster
Bradsmum · 21/03/2011 17:50

Good points ragged - only 1 ds though to organise. Just balancing this against moving him under the circumstances.

LG - agree with the younger children thing but on top of divorce maybe better to keep some stability. And, yes, you are a help! Smile

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bitsyandbetty · 21/03/2011 17:54

Think of the cost of petrol and the children making local friends. They are still young enough to move. I would also think of your own sanity. Trying to find a job with such a big school run may be difficult for you. Trying to get back when school closes and there is a problem on the M25. I was stuck on the M25 for four hours when the motorway was closed once and you will have no neighbours to help if you are stuck.

TalkinPeace2 · 21/03/2011 18:06

16 miles is probably pretty average for some rural areas - Wales, Yorks moors, Scotland, Devon etc

in the 'south east' its INSANE

BluddyMoFo · 21/03/2011 18:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Bradsmum · 21/03/2011 18:09

Lol BMF - no, am really fit Grin

OP posts:
compo · 21/03/2011 18:10

I wouldn't
the m25 everyday will be hideous
and cost a fortune in petrol
it's fine to change schools at that age

Original poster
Bradsmum · 21/03/2011 18:14

Good summary compo - if it was just a normal family move wouldn't hesitate, but this would be ds and me, after divorce and a lot of change for ds to get used to. Just thought changing schools on top of everything else (and he loves his school) would be unfair if there was a way I could keep him there.

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LIZS · 21/03/2011 18:20

Personally with the costs and stress it would cause to get there(especially if it is our local stretch of M25), do playdates and attend the likes of parents' evening it wouldn't seem worth it. Either adjust your expectations and stay local or switch school. tbh that would be the very limit of my radar for a good secondary but if there were another , more local, option I'd go for it.

Lollybrolly · 21/03/2011 18:35

I have done a 22 mile school run - through the countryside though taking 35 to 40 minutes. We did it for 2 years in between house moves. I did it to prevent yet another school change after we moved house for the 3rd time in 3 years.

The one factor that would put me off now more than any other is the cost of petrol/diesel. Can you afford it?
Its going to continue to go up in price for most of this year "they" reckon.

Other factors that used to be annoying and time consuming were things like school social events, parents evenings always were in the evening so I had to pick DD up at 3ish then return again 3 hours later (88 miles in 1 day). Also, birthday parties on weekends - after doing that journey all week I would find myself doing it on a weekend too. Sometimes on both Saturday and a Sunday and I have to be honest and say I did get to a point where I used to think up excuses not to go. I would also find myself pacing the streets of a local town inbetween parties if there was one in the morning or one in the afternoon because it was just too far to go home inbetween. Thankfully we were posted away out of the area by the time I got to that stage, but that was the reality almost 2 years in.

Its a big commitment and one not to be taken lightly. I would never condemn anyone for doing it but I would probably never do it again.

seriouslycantbebothered · 21/03/2011 18:51

I used to do a 15 mile school run . I did it fit 6 years . In my car was a spare set of clothes and trainers . Coats any thing I might need . I was a mean mum and used the time to practice spellings . The thing is when we moved five minutes from school me and DS went through a serious blip in our relationship . I couldnt work out why > The answer was we had spent an hour to an hour and a half a day together cooped up in a car with no distractions . We talked , laughed,disagreed,argued,madeup ,comprimised. I wish I could have this time back . It was one of the best things to happen to us ,seriously . And hey if its snowing its snowing so what . You just have to be organised the night befor and get everything ready . Hope this helps .

seriouslycantbebothered · 21/03/2011 18:53

oh and regarding parents evening I was lucky and turned it into parents morning at 830 am . They were glad there was on less to see at night .

Original poster
Bradsmum · 21/03/2011 19:00

Seriouslycantbebothered - what a lovely point of view - thank you. I have to say even now on the shorter school runs ds and I have a laugh on the way to school and I love this time with him. I think I have to balance the undoubted negatives (and there have been many valid ones pointed out) with the importance of his stability. It breaks my heart to think of him giving up his school, friends, etc to move and it feels so selfish but financially may be better than staying where we are... so many decisions to make!

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mamalino · 21/03/2011 19:01

DS attends a school around 10 miles away and in all honesty it is hard for reasons given above. As it is a special school LA provide a taxi but DH accompanies him and taxi drops DH home and collects him for pm. So basically around a 4.5 hour window in the day IF traffic ok and it's 200 miles a week!

I would say if you can find a job around the area where school is (so you are only doing a one way journey IYSWIM) it would be easier but we know that's not easy!

If we had a "choice" we wouldn't do it but the school is just fantastic and DS is thriving so it's worth it for us. Difficult decision though, good luck.

nomadwith2plus1 · 22/03/2011 22:40

I drive 15miles to my DS/DD school.I have to use the M5 and having been doing this now for 2yrs. PLEASE think about this very carefully. I thought that it would be manageable but have become completely exhausted.

I don't work in the same area so clock up 60 miles/day in round trips to the school- that's 2 1/2 hrs of my day!
After -school parties/parent events add on extra mileage/cost and stress.
If you or your child is ill your left with the chore of a long and dangerous journey on a busy road.(I've found myself both driving and searching for a sick bag on the M5- not good trust me!)
Play dates are a nightmare to organise- children now come for the whole day due to the distance,this makes for one v.long day of supervising a whole group of children.

All in all I wouldn't recommend this especially if your likely to be doing it on your own- my husband helps out occasionally which has helped but the whole experience has certainly increased the stress levels in our family.

jicky · 22/03/2011 23:05

Look at secondary school admissions too. Round here all bar one name feeder schools.

Clary · 23/03/2011 14:51

It's a total nightmare IMO.

For lots and lots of reasons.

Really - we have to drive DD to her show rehearsals twice a week atm, it's about 10 miles and it is such a pain (and I don't even do it mostly! Grin).

I would be so so so loath to saddle myself with that. To say nothing of integrating in new place etc. What are the other options?

CristinaTheAstonishing · 24/03/2011 20:11

TBH I think it's too long for a young child.

startail · 24/03/2011 23:10

In Rural Wales I did 13 miles to senior school it took 15 minutes, 3 miles to Uni took 20 on a good day and way more if there was a cricket test match.

My concern would not so much be time or distance (some of our school buses in my present bit of rural England follow such convoluted routes they take this long for children of all ages, but stress - we have NO traffic jams bar the odd tractor, the M25 is just not going to be predictable enough not to risk being late.
Unless you work near school rather than home you are going to get very fed up with the time wasted coming back from school.

sarahtigh · 26/03/2011 16:32

my DD is not in school yet but the local primary serves children in I think 7 mile radius so even 5 year olds get school bus, senior school I think some travel up to 20 miles ok its country roads so rarely a traffic problem but i think knowing the distances also influences how often you are called to school because if yuo live 20 miles away with no car and need bus could take you 2 hours to get there, it also means a major problem if you want to go anywhere after school as you have to get bus home

however 40 mins on M25 could easily turn into 90 on bad day it may be worth doing until july though to avoid disrupting this year but he would probasbly be the only child doing loads of miles so perhaps not so much sympathy if things go worng than in a school where loads of kids commute long distances

SandStorm · 26/03/2011 16:41

16 miles wouldn't necessarily put me off but a twice daily jaunt onto the M25 would fill me with horror. Think very very carefully about this. It may turn out to be one more added stress that you could do without.

Your DS will be fine with a change of school. Children of that age are extremely adaptable and he'll probably cope with the change more easily than you.

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