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Original poster

"exposed to the vulgarity of other children at mealtimes" -

26 replies

Lilymaid · 20/03/2011 14:22

Own up whoever sent this spoof (surely?) question to the Daily Telegraph?
"This year our children's school has started formal school lunches. We have always provided well-balanced and nutritious packed lunches for our daughter and felt happy that she would not be exposed to the vulgarity of other children at mealtimes. We would value your thoughts on this. Olga and Simon Horwood, Kensington"
Personally, I'd get them out of school and employ a Governess.

OP posts:

colditz · 20/03/2011 14:23

It must be a joke. It has to be. how hilarious that it was printed!

Cornflakemum · 20/03/2011 14:29

Dunno - but when I see the table manners of some of the DSs friends from their (supposedly slightly posh) prep school I tend to agree...

Do parents really not teach children

how to hold a knife and fork properly
to sit at a table and eat without jumping up every 30 seconds
not to spray food across the table by talking with their mouth full

It would appear not...

bronze · 20/03/2011 14:32

"Do parents really not teach children

how to hold a knife and fork properly
to sit at a table and eat without jumping up every 30 seconds"

If you heard me at mealtimes. M sit down. N not that much, J how many times do I have to tell you sit properly. Z sit down! M hold your fork properly J do not talk with your mouth full. Ni don't shout. Z sit down! Repeat until meal is finished

Clarnico · 20/03/2011 14:33

Is the 'help! my son was touched by a working class boy!' thread still lurking on mn somewhere?

i am reminded of it

Itsjustafleshwound · 20/03/2011 14:41

But another question should be how many times do you sit down as a family to eat? Besides a bit of rushed porridge in the mornings and our weekend meals we would never sit down to a meal as a family. Usually just getting my two to sit down and actually taste what I have made is a bonus ....

Maybe they will learn through assimilation ...

Oblomov · 20/03/2011 14:47

well, I too tend to agree. Ds1(7) has sat down for proper mealtimes for 95% of his life. Yet still his cutting, actually using a knife and fork, leave alot to be desirted. And he has to be constantly reminded to keep his moth closed when eating. tis 'painful'.
In reception and year 1 and now year 2, most of his friends have table manners that are 'o.k', but not that great.

Cornflakemum · 20/03/2011 14:57

It IS worth perservering with manners though (saying this in response to Bronze and Oblomov)

We have spent a decade ranting at the DC to do all the things I mention, and finally it seems to have sunk in, and it is automatic (they are now 11 and 8).

Without wanting to sound too smug, the first thing other children's parents usually say when I pick them up us, "oh, DS is sooooo polite and well-mannered... you're so lucky"

Er, no... we've just made good manners a higher priority than you have...

bronze · 20/03/2011 15:05

I persevere in the hope.

And have to continue ignoring people who wonder why parents don't teach their children manners.

new2cm · 20/03/2011 15:23

I ditto bronze and it is not only basic table manners. I'm talking about reception age children and above. I would expect such children (non SEN) to know how to form a queue, wait their turn, not to swear at strangers/passers by, dress themselves independently...

I know how you feel, Cornflakemum. I had a mum say that she is pleased that her son chose my son as his best friend since my son has "such good manners" and she hopes "it will rub off" on her own son. And hand on my heart, her son is very well mannered so I assume she meant she found someone with similar values.

I would like to point out that some of the most polite children I have come across are "working class".

Furthermore, I have had the greatest misfortune of meeting one boy who has really terrible manners, but his mother (who claims to be "typically middle class" ) finds it amusing.

In my experience, children's manners are not based or determined by social class.

Michaelahpurple · 20/03/2011 17:04

Not sure how packed lunches get one away from vulgarity, but have a little more sympathy with the general issue, having had some irritating issues arising from 8 year old boy sitting with year 5 children who are allowed to watch Inbetweeners and the like at home, with inevitably impact on conversation content and vocab.
I realise this may be Canute-like

Zenyattadottir · 20/03/2011 17:07

I read that in the Telegraph and thought I must have time-travelled. Vulgarity!

IntotheNittyGritty · 20/03/2011 20:37

Hate to say it but I am shocked at the appalling table manners of many kids today.

They cant hold a knife and fork and even spoons.
They cant use them properly nor know which to use and when.

Social class has nothing to do with it, but they do copy their parents.

My parents would be horrified if they had to sit with their grandchildrens mates around the table. It is embarrassing to watch many kids eat today.

So yes, you might consider it a joke that someone expects basic table manners, but it shouldnt be

Ormirian · 20/03/2011 20:40

LOL!

'vulgarity'?

Vicky2011 · 20/03/2011 21:21

as is so often the case, the problem with the question is not what they are saying but the way they are saying it

OliPolly · 20/03/2011 22:52

Nothing wrong with basic table manners!

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 20/03/2011 22:55

You do realise don't you that you can install the best manners in the world at home.............but once they're at school with all their peers O.M.G!!

It was like it when I was at school - and it's still the same today. I have seen lunchtime at the DS's infant school children that I know have good table manners drummed into them at home are like totally different children at school.

onceamai · 21/03/2011 20:09

Funny thing for a paper to print but quite agree that table manners are important - they take infancy and plenty more to learn and others seconds to judge.

RiceTart · 21/03/2011 20:46

After listening to a work colleague go on and on about bad table manners and how her dcs knew how to eat with their mouth closed, use a knife and fork properly and sit down till the end of the meal, I agreed to lunch with her & her dcs with some worry.

How funny it turned out to be - her dcs ate like pigs and were incredibly silly from the beginning of the meal till the end - I was truly relieved when we could finally pay the bill and leave the restaurant - she was so stressed about their behaviour.

Pride comes before a fall...beware of boasting about your child's perfect manners because you & they will be severely judged - and rightly so.

thekidsmom · 22/03/2011 09:48

I read the question in the Telegraph and my first reaction was 'poor child, being made to sit in a corner to eat her food away from her friends'. Or do manners not count when eating a PACKED lunch?

My experience of school packed lunches is that the children all sit at tables together anyway....was a strange, 'only in the Telegraph' type moment

sandyballs · 23/03/2011 09:39

My DH is a plumber and has a 16 year old apprentice who didn't know how to use a knife and fork until dh taught him. He had lived on pizzas, KFC etc which is obv eaten with hands. Very sad, poor lad.?I would feel a failure as a parent if he was mine

Cornflakemum · 23/03/2011 11:29

That is very

But several of the DSs supposedly well brought up friends only ever seem to use a fork in their right hand.

And one of DS2's 'friends' looked quizzical when I asked them to come to the table for tea, and told me 'you need to get some trays, then you can eat and watch TV at the same time...'

Pinkcushion · 23/03/2011 12:03

Wow! I can see what you mean - folk in the right hand - that's totally outrageous, are you sure they were well brought up - you never know where that kind of behaviour could lead to folk in the right hand one - gun the next, I'd stop my dcs from associating with those children immediately.

Pinkcushion · 23/03/2011 12:06

I have no idea why I have typed folk when I meant to type fork and I did it twice!!! Unforgivable!

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 23/03/2011 12:15

Cornflake - I use a fork in my right hand - I'm left handed and despite all my best efforts I can't cut with a knife my right hand - I can use a fork in either - but if I don't have a knife in one hand I'll naturally use my left hand for the fork. I also use a spoon in my left hand (other wise the food goes everywhere)

Using a desrt fork and a spoon is always fun

Cornflakemum · 23/03/2011 14:08

Sorry - I meant use 'only a fork' and in their right hand, as in they simply don't know how to hold and use a knife. So when given e.g. roast chicken they try to 'cut' it with the edge of the fork, or worse still, just spike the whole portion with the fork then bite bits off (like a sort of lollipop...)

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