DD got another Red letter today; why don't the school realise how upsetting it is?

[KatyMac]

DD has uncontrolled asthma atm (has had for 3-5 years)

She sees the asthma nurse 4 weekly & the hospital 4 monthly
She is on a shed load of medication

She has had time off school; she will have more time off school, this term probably, year definitely.

So they send a letter home says her attendance is unacceptable & will affect her long term performance

Um we know
She comes to school & gets set home poorly

She can't actually control her chest infections/asthma

How is she going to feel about being told off informed of this?

That's what I think Edam, it's just thoughtless

& we got a letter saying that for PE if you have a note to get out of PE, you still have to get changed & stand in the field watching

It's the being outside in the cold that is the bloody problem; if she were fully dressed I'd be less worried

Also they will not excuse her from Games unless I specifically write a note on that day - so no allowing her to make decisions for herself

Under edam's argument you could also ask if they wish DD to forego her right to 'Be Healthy' as coming in when she is ill would force her to do so, as does standing in the cold in just her PE kit.

The efforts that the school made re sending work etc sound pathetic (following your answer from my earlier post)

Well, most yr7's would manage GCSE coursework in something easy to understand and be supported in like music tbh it stuck me that they picked the subject mum/dad would be least likely to be able to help her with (thank goodness for my B at O level)

sure their duty of care under inclusion policy means they have to make reasonable allowances?

Don't stand for the PE crap. Cold air is medically know to exacerbate asthma isn't it? Get her GP or consultant to write a note to that effect and request that if dd feels her breathing is bad she can decide to stay out of the cold.

I emailed and have asked the head of PE to ring me

I'm betting she hasn't seen the hospital letter about reduced exercise tolerance in cold weather I sent in on 2/3

& there has been some discussion about avoiding exercise; she does between 6 & 8 hrs exercise outside of school....indoors

my sons school does the same thing, make them get changed into the kit and stand on the field, so not running about to keep warm. My son got a detention this week because he forgot his pe socks. He had the full kit but forgot socks and they wouldnt let him do it in normal socks. So he missed out on the lesson for the sake of some socks.

We got a letter about our son's attendance after he was off school for a long time due to asthma. When my OH rang the Headteacher to complain he had a right go at the Headteacher about the discrimination these letters caused against children with serious illnesses. We had an apology in writing the next day and were told the letter should have never been sent as the Headteacher could use their discretion about these things.

I'd request a meeting with the head of inclusion/SENCO and request that they support you in ensuring she is educated and supported, no matter what her physical health status

I guess

I just have so many bad memories from last year with the Senco

Your poor DD has enough to cope with. If I were you, I would shred the wretched letter. Then when she gets home, and asks what colour her letter is - say she didn't get one because she is off a lot for medical reasons and her attendance is not being monitored in that way. If you get found out, I don't think your DD will not blame you for a white lie in these circumstances

Fantastic about the maths!! She must have a lot of natural ability to excel when she has been so poorly

Sorry scrambled that a bit... should be 'I don't think your DD would blame you for a white lie in these circumstances'

This is definitely not the only way things can be managed. Dd's secondary school have agreed not to monitor her absences in the usual way as long as we confirm that an absence was caused by her chronic condition. It does mean that her records look a lot better than they are, so wouldn't be something I would advocate if you didn't trust the school to provide proper support (since you'd never be able to prove afterwards that she had been away that much). But in our case, I do trust dd's school, and it does mean they are keeping the EWO/Social Services etc off our backs. Unlike the junior school, they never seem to feel the need to hide behind "computer generated"; they are just so much more clued up about disabilities.

The school also allow her discretion as to when she joins in with PE.

Katy - I wouldn't be putting up with any of those things from the school.

• SENCO from last year should not be doing that job

• Asthma & standing out in the cold FFS

• Red Letter?? After what she has been through they think this pressure is a good idea FFS

What is DH like in these situations? If he is calm but determined I'd get him to go and see the Head and explain that if your DD is not better supported by this school he will be taking it further. Discrimination/Every child matters (they are failing on pretty much every point of that!!).

Do not let them continue to cause you both/all this stress. Be forceful - we are all behind you!

What happened with the senco last year KatyMac? If you can bear to say that is.

I PM'ed you underachieveing

Actually Chipping - I may point that out to them (about the pressure)

Katy - I am so angry on your behalf - I honestly can't believe their attitude

I got your PM. I am really quite shocked, your SENCO is clearly an idiot. You have probably already considered this but what about taking your daughter to a different school? Or even a home education? I would say that the style of education your daughter is receiving is likely to damage her sense of self.

I sent you another UA

I am scared of confronting because of the way I was treated

OP set out your concerns in writing in relation to the letter about absence, the lack of catch up work being sent home and the procedure for it, and the situation relating to PE (back up the latter with evidence about the impact on asthma sufferers). Request a meeting to resolve the issues with the head teacher within ten working days and also request a written action plan within 10 days of the meeting. If you still get no joy I would escalate to the governors.

neverforgethowmuchiloveyou - she has been on Singulair for about 5 years

onceamai - I am too frightened to; after last year I avoid 'making waves'

Schools need some caring teachers and to make time to listen in the last two years thank God my daughter has been at a six form college which is a kind and warm place.She did her gces at a really unpleasant school with attitudes like how dare a parent ever phone up someone will get back to you but they wouldnt and telling pupils who were assessed by experts as seriously dyslexic its just your confidence and in saying that causing unbelievable despair in my daughter and yes loss of confidence.At primary school age 6 or 7 she would cry struggling to learn her spellings only to get most wrong what did they do somehow she got some right one week so they gave her a certificate for learning her spellings she was gutted they thought she wasnt trying week after week

katyMac, we have this too (different medical condition, but similar issues over attendance/illness/hospital appointments). I just place letters straight into the circular file and if DD asks I simply say ?oh, honey, that?s not relevant to you because of all your check-ups?. She seems happy with that.

I think the ?rule? about changing for PE and watching the rest of the class came about to address DCs who didn?t like it and wanted to skive off. It was never intended to apply to DCs who aren?t able to do it ? can you just give her a note each time and let her decide whether to hand it in or not depending on how she?s feeling?