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Original poster

music practise

46 replies

musicalmum1 · 19/02/2011 15:46

How to get the DC to fit in their 30 mins of daily practise without having a major fight? Should I just let them stop?
I am a musician myself and if I had a penny for every time an adult said to me "I wish I had continued playing the piano or (insert all other instruments), I would have quite a nest egg.

OP posts:

Original poster

musicalmum1 · 19/02/2011 15:54

oops, sorry first timer - will move discussion to extra-curricular activities ):

OP posts:

inkyfingers · 20/02/2011 17:51

I know what you mean. I wish my parents had done the same. Do they need to do 30 mins? I'm a bit lax with my 2 doing practice. I assume their teachers will point out lack of practice and nag them about it if necessary.

I'd start with the minimum they should do (ie 15 mins) and build up with bribes if necessary to 30. It depends if you have a schedule of grade exams that you want them to clear at certain ages. If they really want to stop, you'll need to talk with their teacher(?) about aptitude for the instrument. also depends how old they are. Under 11, no choice! But older than that you could get them to pass grade X and then stop?

loler · 20/02/2011 18:02

I agree that it depends on how old they are. My dd (7) refused blank to do any practice at all. She now gets pocket money for practising 3 times a week (probably only for 10-15 mins). I realise this falls a long way short of your expectations but she is still making progress and is enjoying learning still.

I'm one of those I wish I'd carried on people trying hard not to live my life through my dc!

inkyfingers · 20/02/2011 18:52

Ioler - agree. Slow and steady could mean a really accomplished player by aged 16, especially if she is playing at 7. who knows if she'll go through all the grades and be getting scholarships to the Royal College blah, blah

reallytired · 20/02/2011 18:56

Prehaps 30 minutes of practice is unrealistic. Poor quality practice is as bad as no practice.

The important thing is that practice is productive. I find it helps my son to set him targets rather than to say you must practice for 30 minutes.

For example I say to him I want you to play these four bars with the correct rythmn. Or I might ask my son to concentrate on being in tune or another day we might look at crescendos and descendos.

I also ban any TV or computer until the practice is done.

IndigoBell · 21/02/2011 10:23

I don't think people really mean it when they say "I wish I had continued playing the piano".

I don't think they really mean I wish I'd slogged and slogged and done all those hours of practice.....

They just mean they wish they could play the piano - without having to have done all the thousands of hours of work necessary to do it...

roisin · 21/02/2011 15:14

Arf at IndigoBell

notrightnow · 21/02/2011 15:27

Try breaking it into short bits. My DD does scales, then later her pieces, and probably some sightreading at another time. As she is getting better and her total practice time needs to increase it's much easier to fit it into the day this way - she needs to do about 45 mins now so does it in three sessions of 15 / 20 / 10 mins.

My son plays a string instrument, which isn't so practical to learn that way, and I use a bit of reverse psychology - if it isn't going well or he wants to stop, I tell him that he can leave it but he then may not play again that day. He knows he needs to practice and he knows he needs to prepare for his lessons, so usually sticks at it for a bit longer.

at IndigoBell. You're absolutely right.

Oh, I just remembered that I also told me children that factoid about needing to do something for 10,000 hours before you can be considered expert, and working out how much that is per day between now and the age of 20, which scared them good and proper! They think 30 mins is quite reasonable now

sue52 · 21/02/2011 15:27

My DDs started off with about 10-15 minutes twice a week. If I had pushed them harder, they would have turned off entirely. Now DD is 15 she practices for about 20 minutes week days and an hour or two at weekends, more if she has an exam. I do know other children whose parents made them play every day and it was torture for all concerned.

nickelbabe · 21/02/2011 15:31

it does depend on their age, of course, but i think 30 mins is too long.

is this every day?
far too much (unless they're studying for an exam right now)

if they're under 10, then 15 mins every other day is plenty.
over 10, then i'd say 20-25 mins every other day.

ivykaty44 · 21/02/2011 15:35

my dd2 is 12 and learning the flute - I sit with my dd2 in the same room and she practices for 10-15 minutes only and that is week days.

At the weekend possibly twice a day so 20-30 minutes in total.

I would find it a battle with her if I didn't actually sit in the room for 10 minutes with dd2 whilst she practices.

dd2 loves to have someone with her, its just the way she is

nickelbabe · 21/02/2011 15:37

DH is a church organist, and says that when he was learning the piano (at 13), he probably did practise every day, but not 30 minutes every day.

notrightnow · 21/02/2011 15:38

"but i think 30 mins is too long."

You can't generalise though nickelbabe. My DD* is very happy doing her 45 minutes or even upwards when learning a new piece. It would be cruel to make her stop. But she only got to the stage she is now, where she can really enjoy it, by being encouraged to persevere when she was younger. I think it needs to be every day or else it doesn't become a habit and the physical aspect (ie getting your hands to 'learn' the movements) doesn't stick so quickly.

(*Must point out that DD is 11 and doing grade 4 so she is not some freaky prodigy and I'm no crazy tiger mother!)

notrightnow · 21/02/2011 15:39

Not necessarily 30 mins though - sorry - did not make that clear. Little and often is better.

beanlet · 21/02/2011 15:45

Have you thought about playing with her? E.g. if you're a violinist and she's learning the piano, play a violin obbligato over the top? You can even do it with scales. Just a thought. And if she's on her first few grades 20 mins is really enough.

nickelbabe · 21/02/2011 16:07

notrightnow - you're right, i'm generalising, but if the OP had come on and said that her DCs were enjoying practice, then i wouldn't have thought any more of it. your DD enjoys practising - my DH used to enjoy practising, and that's fine, they both play as much as they feel they need to (and i know what you mean about learning a new piece- you want to go over and over and over), but the OP sounds like she's pushing her DCs too hard.

(and it even depends on the instrument)

I'm learning the piano and my hands get sore after about 20 minutes (and i only manage 2 or 3 times a week).

nickelbabe · 21/02/2011 16:08

oh, that's what i wanted to say!

every day, maybe for scales and finger exercises (about 10 mins) and the extra 10-20 mins every other day for actual playing - i think that's better.

AutumnWitch · 21/02/2011 16:38

Is the problem getting started, or continuing for long enough?

One trick for doing anything with a bit of an energy/inertia barrier is to say, do it for 5 minutes then you can stop. Most people will carry on once they've started unless they're really not up for it.

Maybe make a deal that they play for a few minutes each day?

I used to leave my tuba out and an idle 5 minutes could easily turn into an extended practice once I'd got going .

roisin · 21/02/2011 18:15

A trick I find for encouraging ds2 to persevere: When he's working on a tricky passage and trying to get it right. I say "see if you can play it 100% correct 3 times in a row".

That does really motivate him and I think helps get the right patterns in his head.

[I know some people say 10 times perfect in a row - but that really is torture!]

nickelbabe · 22/02/2011 11:35

roisin - when i do that, I end up playing it 50% right the first time (even if last time i did it without that pressure, i played it 95% right!), then 2nd time it'll be 80%, then the 3rd time it'll be about 40%!
the pressure makes me play worse!

(but i did cerack the part i've been having problems with, lasat ngiht , but the rest of it went wrong...)

Original poster

musicalmum1 · 27/02/2011 01:45

Guys, thank you for all your messages.

OP posts:

everlong · 27/02/2011 08:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ephiny · 27/02/2011 08:39

IndogBell is correct. My dad is always saying 'oh I wish I could play the piano'. But he's lived most of his adult life in a house with a piano, with a wife who can play and would happily teach him, but in all those years he's never sat down and tried to play even a note. He just wishes he magically had the ability to play without making any effort or doing any practice :)

And for adults who really wish they'd continued, it's never too late. I used to play with an amateur orchestra almost entirely composed of adults who either learned from scratch as adults or picked up their instrument again after learning the basics in childhood - ages from 20s to 60s or older.

For the moment though, I would agree with others that ten minutes a day that actually gets done is better than insisting on half an hour and having a big fight ending up with them not doing any.

Ephiny · 27/02/2011 08:39

'IndigoBell', I mean...

nickelbabe · 28/02/2011 10:40

i had a look at a violin book i bought in a charity shop ages ago - it's still got both the violin score and the piano score.

i looked at the violin score, thoguht "i might be able to do that" but then looked at the piano score and thought "i would not be able to follow the violin score while that piano is playing".
:(

(this is not just me being a wimp - unlike the OP's DC, I was not allowed to practise in the house when i lived with my parents, and therefore lack the ability to play, because every time i start to practise i feel like i'm being too loud, or making someone's ears bleed)

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