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Original poster

music practise

46 replies

musicalmum1 · 19/02/2011 15:46

How to get the DC to fit in their 30 mins of daily practise without having a major fight? Should I just let them stop?
I am a musician myself and if I had a penny for every time an adult said to me "I wish I had continued playing the piano or (insert all other instruments), I would have quite a nest egg.

OP posts:

builder · 01/03/2011 11:14

My 6.5 year old is learning the piano. I always sit down with her; she is too young to do it on her own. We probably do between 5 and 15 minutes, 2 out of 3 days a week.

bitsyandbetty · 01/03/2011 11:44

My DS plays the drums as well. Painful isn't it. He also does keyboard which he practices much more because it does not hurt his ears as much. He did the violin at school and they said how good he was but never saw him practice ever at home. My DH is a part-time professional musician and still practices for over an hour a day. The rest of the time he is recording so still playing. He thinks 10 minutes a day is enough when they are young. However, My DS wants to do his grades now and I have said we will do them as long as he practices thoroughly before.

daylightdreaming · 01/03/2011 22:28

Our DS is at Guildhall Saturday school and they recommended a book on practise which we've found really useful. It's still a bit of a struggle to get him to do it everyday but there are lots of good recommendations on motivation and also as they progress how to ensure the practice is useful not just repetition of mistakes etc. We're currently on the old fashioned but successful sticker chart with bongos as the reward when he's got enough - might regret that decision

I think it's self published and that you can get it at the author's website though we just had a leaflet www.jennymacmillan.co.uk/

cat64 · 03/03/2011 00:31

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster

musicalmum1 · 03/03/2011 08:53

@Autumnwitch I tried your suggestion about just doing 5mins, with the possibility of stopping - worked quite well with the younger one, he did carry on

re: 10000 hours factoid - older one was quite impressed when we worked it out, but did not make that much difference to attitude. Bribery worked quite well in the last few weeks ):

Also showing him mails on this thread, where lots of the posters said that practice was really non-negotiable was helpful.

thanks guys, for all your interesting suggestions and sharing - I have been v. busy so, on here quite infrequently, but I do come back to read!

OP posts:

Original poster

musicalmum1 · 03/03/2011 08:56

@daylight dreaming - thanks for the link will check it out later!

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Original poster

musicalmum1 · 03/03/2011 08:57

@nickelbabe - that's really a shame. BTW did you know that leonard bernstein's father sold his piano, because he was so fed up with his son practising all the time?

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nickelbabe · 03/03/2011 10:35

- i bet he kicked himself!
i'm not quite such a genius, i'm afraid - but I did get out my violin on Monday night, and after spending half an hour tuning it , i played some scales, worked out that it still wasn't fully in tuen, so tuned G and D again, then played some more scales and a couple of arpeggios, then put it away.
I will probably repeat this next monday, or possibly sunday afternoon. (not such a long time tuning though!)
I was very pleased with myself for not only still being able to place my fingers in the right place (disclaimer: i only did to grade 2 when i had lessons), but also for discovering that my music theory knowledge on scales/keys works on the violin too
(i'm sure you all know what i'm on about, but i mean that the scale goes Tonic-tone-tone-semitone-tone-tone-tone-semitone)

all of these years knowing how to read music, and it was half through doing Voice for Life Red Ribbon and half through learning the piano properly that taught me this!

Lucylu5 · 03/03/2011 11:02

My son plays flute and piano. Use to have struggle with the practise! But after a while of building time up from 10 mins it became second nature and ended up going to a choristers boarding school and has to practise (all the time)
Think once they get past a certain level and can play pieces that are exciting and fun and what they want to play it also helps as when he comes home at weekends he spends hours trying to work out how to play latest black eyed peas or likewise!

notrightnow · 03/03/2011 13:46

musicalmum, I'm really glad that some of this helped. I have been thinking about this too as I have struggled on with my own string player in the last week, alternatly encouraging and yelling :(

nickelbabe, that is fab about playing again.

I've been thinking a lot about this and it's been interesting reading what others do. I wasn't able to learn an instrument as a child (despite really longing to) and so probably have a bit of an axe to grind in that it's an opportunity I really want my children to have and don't want them to waste. But it also means that I actually have no idea of what music practice is about on a personal level. I don't know whether that's a good or bad thing.

nickelbabe · 03/03/2011 13:49

notrightnow - have you got the chance or opportunity to learn now?

even something simple like the descatn recorder could be an achievement.

notrightnow · 03/03/2011 14:03

nickelbabe, I can play the recorder a tiny bit as I taught myself by ear as a child and have an OK singing voice. I can read music - treble clef only, v. slowly - from helping the children when they were first learning, so I don't think I'm entirely un-musical, but I have to be realistic about how much I could practice, I suppose, with a v. full family life. I have thought about singing lessons or a choir but feel v. self conscious about it. I would love the experience of playing or singing with others but not brave enough

nickelbabe · 03/03/2011 14:24

you know what? I'm the same as you.

I love singing, always have - but I have always been painfully shy.
I really, really, really wanted to sing in my church choir when I was a child - mum wouldn't let me cos she said i wasn't good enough (obv never having heard of training )

When I was 25, i used to meet friends of mine in the pub on a Tuesday evening, after tehy'd finished Choir Practice.
Then I started to get bored of witing (they never finished on time) so i started going along to practice with them. Just used to sit in and sing along (quietly until I knew the peices), then one morning, I went to churc hwith them, and I was about to sit in the congregation when the choir master shouted to me: "are you robing?"
I said "am i allowed?"
to which he replied "you came to practice didn't you?!"
and that was it, I was in the choir.

Still bloody scared about singing in front of people, but I loved it!
and when I moved here about 2 years later, I swallowed my fear and approached the choirmaster of my new church, and went along to practice that week.
I started doing the Voice for Life scheme, and in it you have to sing solos .
And now I can sing solos, in front of people, in front of lots of people.
and It's been the best thing to cure my shyness (still can't talk to people, but I can sing in front of them!)

the best thing you can do is go along and merge in with the other singers of your voice, and eventually, as you get to know what you're doing, you'll be brave and sing out like you're made to!

nickelbabe · 03/03/2011 14:25

(usually choirs practice one evening a week, so it's doable even with a big family)

seeker · 03/03/2011 14:30

ANd I do think the grown ups saying "Oh, I wish I had carried on with the sackbut" is usually bullshit. What's to stop them playing it now, if they really want to - it's probably still in theri parents' attic somewhere!

I love Lady Catherine in Pride and Prejudice "If I had ever learned, I would have been a great proficient"!

builder · 03/03/2011 14:36

Parents who don't play with children learning - why not attend the music lesson with the child and try and learn along with them.

My dh is learning along with my dd so that he can also hear her do her music practice.

notrightnow · 03/03/2011 15:11

Builder, depends a lot on the age of the child and when the lesson is - don't think school or fierce piano teacher would appreciate me showing up for my DD's lesson! I think it could work with little ones though, if you had time to practice on your own as well - is your DH keeping up?!

Nickelbabe - I really appreciate your thoughts - thank you :)

exoticfruits · 03/03/2011 19:31

Let them stop-if they really want to do it you wouldn't be able to stop them! If they regret it later there is nothing to stop them taking it up as an adult.

Tabliope · 03/03/2011 20:09

My DS took up cello in yr2. He didn't do any practice for about 3 years. I tried every tactic and then thought actually he hasn't given it up, he still wants to carry so leave it to him. At some point in year 5 it clicked (spurred on by someone younger than him doing grade 1). He now has 3 distinctions and a merit and has taken up a second instrument. Some weeks he doesn't want to practice and I nag him to go over his pieces a couple of times. Other times he'll play for pleasure, probably for 30 minutes to an hour, making things up etc. I'm rambling here but all I want to say if I'd told him to practice for 30 minutes every night he'd have turned off and given up long ago. I look back now and realise how tiring practice was on his bow arm and also how hard it was to make it sound good. Once he got to a certain stage he had more incentive. I would just get them to do two run throughs of their pieces to start with every other day. As they progress I say things like oh, play me that other piece that's beautiful. They like an audience as someone else said.

snorkie · 03/03/2011 23:18

tabliope, great story. I have a ds who learns two instruments too & it seems to me he went through phases of practising one or the other but rarely both (and I don't mean on a night by night basis - more on a term by term one). He has settled on piano now though and has rarely if ever got the cello out at home for the last 3 years or so (except last term when he did a grade - nothing like an imminent exam to inspire a bit of practice), but he still has lessons and still gets a lot of pleasure from it playing in various ensembles - I think he's still improving too albeit slowly.

Tabliope · 04/03/2011 09:00

That's great your DS hasn't completely given up the cello snorkie. I know what you mean about going through phases of practising one or the other. A couple of times over the 3 years of my DS not practising I told him in despair he might as well give up (I could kick myself). I'm so glad he didn't and that I learnt to stop nagging. It's not perfect. I still have to at times tell him he needs practice both instruments. It seems to go through phases of him really enjoying playing the instruments and naturally playing for an extended time and it being a chore and barely going through his pieces but I've realised that's fine. He regrets those wasted years but I've told him it doesn't matter. As you say, your DS is still learning by keeping up the lessons and also from the various ensembles.

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