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Education

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Original poster

If another child deliberately weed all over your child at school, would you expect to told what had happened?

91 replies

nonplussed · 13/10/2005 17:19

Changed my name for this as I have a feeling fellow parents at ds's school use mnet.

At first, I assumed it was an accident, but it's become clear that another child weed deliberately on ds (in reception age 4). His top, trousers, socks and shoes were soaked in it all - he was sent home with the clothes in a bag. The incident itself isn't really bothering me too much, but the fact that the teacher didn't tell me about it is bothering me. I thought she might have had a quick word to explain.

Don't know if I'm being a bit prissy about this - what do you think?

OP posts:

mememum · 14/10/2005 21:51

Aren't most incidents of this nature not heard or observed by an adult? Surely the teacher has to talk to the other child and find out their side of the story? I don't know what happens in this sort of incident as my DD's are only 7mths and 2.4years

Original poster

nonplussed · 14/10/2005 22:00

That would have been my approach as a teacher mememum - you're absolutely right, there's so much going on between children that you won't see. Personally, if parents come to me with an issue like this, then I would be saying I would look in to the matter. it isn't that difficult with very young children to establish what's gone on.

OP posts:

soapbox · 14/10/2005 22:03

In these days of inclusion in MS I don't think people should necessarily jump to conclusions over this. I don't think this behaviour is typical at 5 or even 'normal' but I don't know enough about the childs own circumstances to say it is unusual for him IYSWIM.

However what is maddening here is that an event like this, was not witnessed by another adult nor discussed with the parents. I know there can't be adults in every square of the playground or on permanent toilet duty but I imagine that when nonplussed DS went to the teacher or adult supervisor he described what happened.

This behaviour is abusive and in my DCs school would probably have warrented a letter home to all parents about appropriate behaviour in school. Indeed last year when the girls knicker showing in reception went a bit too far (mooning) then a whole set of procedures were put in place to deal with it!

I think you and your DH need to visit the school and discuss what happened calmly with the Head. No fobbing off over appointments but a 'we are coming into school today to see you about x weeing on y and 2pm is convient for us so we will see you then'. If he/she wriggles - a 'I'm sure you realise how important this matter is and I am sure you put it higher in priority that anythign else that might be in your diary today at 2pm'!

It is awful, but IMHO the action of the school, or rather inaction, would worry me more than the event itself!

Rhubarb · 14/10/2005 22:10

I think it is unfair of the teacher not to have informed you. Did they not ask your ds how he got his clothes soaked in urine. And why did she not answer your call? They sound very negligent. Sorry but I would raise this issue on a higher level. Not necessarily because of the boys behaviour (although it sounds as though a bit of discipline wouldn't go amiss with him) but because the teachers are obviously too busy to attend to the needs and concerns of the pupils and parents.

Rhubarb · 14/10/2005 22:17

Just had a thought! How about you wee all over the other child's parents!!!!
Or is that going too far?
Perhaps?
Just a thought anyway?
Worth considering?
Maybe?

Tortington · 14/10/2005 22:49

god absolutely not - why on earth should the school tell you your kids been pissed on?

of course the school should tell you your kids been urinated on

Rhubarb · 14/10/2005 22:55

Custy! They're all picking on me! Help!

aloha · 14/10/2005 23:06

Oh no! That's really not on at all. V surprised the school aren't dealing with this more seriously.

mememum · 15/10/2005 12:45

Hello Nonplussed. Just wondering if you were any clearer on your next course of action? How is your son after both incidents?

Original poster

nonplussed · 15/10/2005 18:15

Ds seems ok. He says he likes school except when said child annoys him. He's mentioned that the child follows him around and has also been pinching him in the book corner.

There's a parents evening coming up swiftly after half term, so we've decided to monitor things until then - ds is pretty forthcoming about his school day, so we'll note any further problems and discuss them at the parents evening if necessary, or ask for a different time if we want a longer discussion.

I'm v unhappy about ds being sworn at, but I'm going to stay cool headed and see what develops over the next week or so. Ds says he and other children told the teacher about the swearing and she apparently dealt with it.

We've had lots of chats with ds about how important it is to tell the teacher if anyone hurts or does anything unpleasant to him, and we will be asking him every day about the good and not so good bits of his day.

OP posts:

RottenRhubarb · 17/10/2005 20:01

Just wondering what happened with this?

LilMissy · 18/10/2005 22:17

bumping for update?

FrumpyGrumpy · 18/10/2005 22:19

Haven't read all the thread sorry, but I'd be mad as hell and would expect and want to be told about it, who did it, why and what his/her parents comments are.

Original poster

nonplussed · 18/10/2005 22:41

We're going to deal with this at parents evening coming up shortly, as mentioned in my last post. There's been something everyday ds has told me about this child which I'm not happy about, though not as bad as the first incident. Instead of complaining every day, I have been annotating what ds has been telling me and will go through all of it with the teacher at the meeting and insist that she carefully monitors the situation, and give us reassurances that the child's behaviour is being dealt with.

If after this, there is no improvement, we are going to the Head.

OP posts:

Dodsey · 18/10/2005 22:59

This makes me mad.As a teacher for 20 yrs. (God makes me feel like Jean Brodie) I can't believe the unprofessionalism of your DS' teacher. No home/school communication in the first instance, no phone call(or apology?)when promised, no investigation to discover true facts, & above all no school promise to monitor situation closely to determine if this behaviour is a one off incident or part of a bigger picture. As a Depute Head i would have been very unhappy to have this matter left to a class teacher. I would expect to be pulled in to decide course of action. This can not be treated as a minor matter until the school know it is one. ( Does that last sentence make sense?)

Dodsey · 18/10/2005 23:04

Hey that felt good. Gave up my career when DS2 came along 3yrs ago, but can still get the educational juices stirred up every so often! Nonplussed please don't let this simmer, jump above the teacher & speak to 'The Management' in a non-confrontational way(as I'm sure you would anyway)They may have no knowledge of incident.

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