Would you move your dcs to private if they were v happy in their current state school?

[brooke73]

I have 2 dds one in year 3 and one in year 1. They currently go to the local infant, and junior school (two separate schools, with different HTs etc,), whilst we are v happy with the infant school, we are less happy with the junior school. I don't like some of the teachers, two classes in the years above are taught by two teachers job-sharing, assemblies seem disorganised, and they do not push the children at all.
So, we are thinking about moving them to private schools, the problems being that it will be a stretch for us financially, but more importantly, both dds are extremely happy in their current school, and have some very good friends. I have thought about moving them to private at secondary level, but I am worried that they would find it hard to make the adjustment from state to private in year 7.
Any advice?

Ok i'm being flippant but we had DD3 in from age 4 more or less FOC as a package deal and tbh I'm not sure i'd have paid for it.
Yes they push them but being older and wiser I now know how to do that myself.

Some grammar schools are terrible and the comprehensives that my dh and I experienced were very good. Equally, the prep school my mother taught at was terrible - inadequate teaching, bullying, poor resources.

Paying for something doesn't always mean good, and grammar schools often don't do as much with the children that they should do considering they've creamed off the top 20%.

So, please no generalisations. Though academic myself (all As, Cambridge etc.) I have every intention that my children go to a comprehensive school. Actually, they will have to because that's what we have around here (other than some very expensive and not great private schools).

To the OP - if your children are happy and you're happy with their progress, leave them where it's free. If you're not happy with their progress, try some tutoring - £25 and hour is a lot less than 12k a year.

Excellent post Civil

The truth is none of it is very hard to do yourself at home the trouble is who has the time really.

My DS has just done the 11+ move from very relaxed state primary to quite academic secondary and it's made me so glad that we didn't do it before - not only for financial reasons, but also because he has had such a lovely carefree time up until now with loads of local friends, able to walk to school, not much homework etc. Even so, he still managed to pass his 11+ exams with just a little tuturoing in the lead-up. He's doing fine at his new school, keeping up with homework etc and I think now he has the maturity to handle that - if he'd had lots of homework and pressure at primary level, I think the pressure would have definitely been on me to make sure he did it! I say keep them where they are as long as possible if they're happy and you feel they're learning - you can fill in the gaps if there are any. The 11+ exams are pretty straightforward anyway so long as they're reasonably good readers and okay at maths.

brooke73: I assume your decision is not going to be based on Mumsnet advice? The only thing to base your decision on is your children and the specific school(s) that you're talking about. You know your children and want to do the absolute best for them that you can. You are the only person who can judge. People on here (myself included) have all kinds of preconceived notions/opinions/prejudices about private and state schools alike, and we are not in a position to say what is best for your children.

Personally, I'd go with my gut instinct. If you look at the prep and really, really love it, your decision will be made. If you look at it and think it's just sort of okay, your decision will be made that way too.

DS was at our local school and happy however we were not happy with several aspects of the school. DH wanted to move him to an independent school and I agreed he could move in primary 5 when they have an intake. However the more I saw of the new school the more I liked it so we decided to move him at the start of primary 2. It was a hard decision because he was happy but I felt longer term it was right and that it would be easier to move aged 6 than when older. I put a lot of time in to arranging to meet up with other children from the new school so he started school knowing a few of the children which helped.

It is hard but you need to base it on the schools. If you think the new school is brilliant and the best option then move them. But don't disrupt them if there isn't a good reason.

Tough decisions. What you need is a crystal ball.

If you find one pass it on to me when you have finished with it :)

Hahahaha to the concept that paid for education is always better. (She says as a privately educated MNer with no axe to grind.)

"Apart from grammar schools, paying for education always means it's better."

I can hardly believe that this remark has been allowed to pass with so little comment.

Redsuedeshoes, this is an utterly obtuse remark, and speaks volumes about your own poor analytical skills. I wonder where you were educated?

It's not been allowed to pass - it's been ignored. Always better to take that approach when such a silly post is solely designed to stir.

Yes, we are ignoring.

Redsuedeshoes, its not funny and its not clever.

No

With regards to my earlier point about university fees - I think this is a vaild point.

Yes your children can choose to take a loan -however 21k is hardly a large sum at which they have to repay a 40 or 50k loan. You wouldn't dream of taking out that sort of loan if you were on that salary.

Presumably they will NOT be living at home, so will have to shell out for accommodation and all the other living expenses.

Their huge student loans will also be taken into account if they wish to apply for a mortgage or any additional loan (car loan, etc), as clearly they will affect their ability to pay.

So yes, as a parent, I am thinking that if I am going to save up for their education, maybe saving for uni fees is not such a bad idea!

I think that in many cases the children who do best at primary level are the ones whose parents push them the most. This is true, I think in both state and primary schools. That's why there's lots of examples of children who do brilliantly well up to the age of 11 and then fade. Once education is tested on a more analytical level, rather than who has the best handwriting and practises reading the most, they are often found wanting.
I feel constantly under pressure to push my DS1. I won't though because I don't want him to think of education as a chore. I want to be more organic than that. I'm no hippy but I strongly believe that children can peak too early.
I hope that helps OP

mamatomany Tue 30-Nov-10 16:07:33
I wanted to say as well the expectation of the children when they get to year 7 at our school is very high and they do hit the ground running so you'd have to work on their general knowledge, times tables, spelling to a level 5 standard because any children in primary who aren't their by the end of year 5 get extra (free) tuition.

I hope their private school works on their grammar too.

A colleague who works for me has never set foot in a state school, private all the way and he is very proud of this. He often says wonderful things like "I think that is more better than that one".

To OP, a child's happiness is more important than comparing their academic progress to that of another. I went to a comprehensive, went to university, obtained a PhD and have a successful career. Put your children's happiness first. They won't appreciate you in later years dropping into conversation the fact that you made sacrifices in order to afford the fees.

"I think that in many cases the children who do best at primary level are the ones whose parents push them the most. "

This depends very much on your definition of "doing well"

My child in year 3 has two part time teachers and it works very well. They have lots of enthusiasm and communicate with each other exceptionally well. My son is thriving! Yes the assemblys are a bit scabbled together but that beacaue they are doing other more important things with their time.

You have quite a few other options to consider if they are not thriving academically -

A) Talk to the teacher and discuss your concerns about the work

B) Get a weekly on hour tutor for maths and english - would be cheaper than private eduacation.

C)Google mathswizz on your computer and subscribe for a year for 100 pounds. Will improve Maths ability very quickly - and will stretch them much further.

D) Send your eldest to private school and start the second child at the same school once he hits juniors.

E)Move them to a better state primary school

F)Leave them and review the situation at 11.

OP I am puzzling with this dilemma and my dc's are similar agest to yours.

We cannot afford secondary private. So it would be for primary only.

I am tempted by the greater opportunities sport and games, the smaller class sizes and tbh I hope that I would have make less of an input educationally that I currently do .

Forster - depends what your state options are for secondary.

If they are good, might be worth considering this.

If not, I would save your money for secondary.

They are good, but selective.

Ah, so the plan is for a few years at prep to prepare for grammar school entry?

It is one route, but you could also prepare by using tutors.

Also, are you sure your Dcs would gain entry? How competitive is entry to your local grammars?

If it is super competitive you might be better moving to an area that has good comps.

My eldest dc will almost certainly get in with or without prep. My job could become very demanding if I wanted it to and if more was being done at school this would release me to get on with my career. I really want a one stop shop in a school and find having to do all the extra curricular thing a nuiscance.

Forster - then a prep with good wraparound care may well be worth the money for you.

But choose carefully, some are quite demanding of your time as a parent. Ask lots of questions along these lines.

PinkE can you elaborate? Cannot face anymore cake sales etc...