Would you move your dcs to private if they were v happy in their current state school?

[brooke73]

I have 2 dds one in year 3 and one in year 1. They currently go to the local infant, and junior school (two separate schools, with different HTs etc,), whilst we are v happy with the infant school, we are less happy with the junior school. I don't like some of the teachers, two classes in the years above are taught by two teachers job-sharing, assemblies seem disorganised, and they do not push the children at all.
So, we are thinking about moving them to private schools, the problems being that it will be a stretch for us financially, but more importantly, both dds are extremely happy in their current school, and have some very good friends. I have thought about moving them to private at secondary level, but I am worried that they would find it hard to make the adjustment from state to private in year 7.
Any advice?

"If it would be a stretch at the moment and your DCs are basically happy I would leave them where they are for now and think again for secondary."

The point is that the OP hasn't said her children are "basically happy" she has said they are "very happy". Being very happy at school is absolutely priceless.

Private schools may not be SATS factories (but neither are many state schools) - however many of them are Common Entrance or 11+ factories. You have to be incredibly careful!

seeker - yes, you are right. Moving DCs who are very happy at their schools would indeed be madness.

At primary age not sure what value there would be in "pushing".

They are only just beginning to discover the joys of learning, would be a pity to knock that out of them with too much pressure.

Plenty of time at secondary to knuckle down to serious academics.

Well yes seeker, my experience is that my local primary school is a SATS factory and the other local private school an 11 plus factory.

Hence my choice of school. You really have to look at the ACTUAL school. Not all state is bad, not all private is good.

Read all the thousands of threads about children unhappy at school (state/private wotevver) and get on your knees and give thanks for their happiness. And get the teachers some flowers.

So seeker, if you had a child who was dropping grades because of a crap teacher but was blissfully happy then that would be worth it. I'd be interested to hear what your child said as an adult when their opportunities may be less because of a hippy attitude to, "we must never upset the kids and only give them what makes them happy".

Oh don't be silly, redsuedeshoes.

If they are going into a prep school that will continue through to senior school, then they will have to make the transition at some point anyway. I would be wary of moving them to a prep and then a completely new senior school as this creates an additional move IYSWIM.

As far as I know it is easier to get them into selective schools at a younger age, the exams at 11 are very intense. They will be prepared specifically for the entrance exams in an independent prep.

We have just moved DS1 to private, and were advised (by the new school) that it is best to get the last 2 years of primary education in a private school if that is where you are heading for secondary. (We are very pleased so far by the way!)

I agree with the general sentiment of leaving them if they're happy for now and save the money for later on.

That's what we are doing anyway.

I wouldn't say my children are blissfully happy at our local school, but they are happy enough and don't have a huge commute to school (a walk round the corner), have local friends, etc....at this age this seems as important as academics to me.

I would save money and also spend on extras, such as music clubs, sports, etc...maybe even a tutor if it gives your reassurance in terms of where your children are at/do they need pushing etc...

I think with the looming university fees scenario and the rising cost of living, then unless you can comfortably afford it it's worth thinking of alternative ways for the moment and save for later...

Heymango A private prep school would say that wouldn't they.

sue52 I agree - I just wanted to make it clear that it was them giving me the advice, so bound to be biased. Although DS1 is younger than that so it could have backfired and put us off for a couple of years!

really it is not worth the stress of worrying about school fees if DCs are happy at their primary.

Much easier to get a bit of tutoring in areas where you may feel they are getting a bit behind and saving for secondary.

I say that as someone who fell into private primary ed due to lack of state school places.

Now we are coming up to secondary entry not sure if we can keep up the fees.

Really wish we had been able to save our money for this stage.

"I think with the looming university fees scenario"
What scenario? No one is required to pay back any of their student loan until they are earning at least 21K. People appear incorrectly to believe that fees have to be paid up front!!!

Actually heymango's school sounds slightly less self interested than the ones round here. The local pre-school (ie 2 to 4 year olds) harangued a poor mother when she said she was thinking about state primary and then private secondary so would probably give the pre-school that prides itself on getting kids into the sought after preps a miss. 'You know nothing about education, it's impossible to get into a selective school from a state school'. This is of course bollocks as the stats can testify...

There is a lot of fear out there for the independents to play on, however the state does educate 93% of the population most of whom manage to read, write, tie their own shoelaces and other such skills. We should all have more faith in our children's abilities.

As a point of interest, a lot of teachers I know (both private and state) suggest prep first so good study habits and the basics are ingrained, and then state, grammar or otherwise.

I moved my two alright, not amazingly happy kids from state to private and every time there's a normal kid related problem in their minds it's all the schools fault and they want to go back. However academically they are I'd say 2 years ahead of their peers. My eldest however is a different child as a result of her two years at private and whilst she wants to go back into the grammar system I honestly don't believe she'd even have the confidence to have sat the exam if we'd left her in state, she thought she was crap at everything and the state school reinforced that daily with their inflexible approach.
In your shoes I would move them for year 7 and save now, I wanted at least 2 years fees saved in advance before committing which was prudent because the week after we signed up DH was made redundant.

Thankyou everyone for your stories, it seems that most people are saying don't move if your children are happy, and that is my gut feeling as I would hate to move them to another school, and them not settle and make friends - I relaise that this would be detrimental to them even if the school was 'better' in other ways - what would be the point if they were unhappy? Also, I am hestiant as we are looking next week at a prep school and therefore they would need to change schools again at 11, and for our older dc she would only have 3 years at the school. Private schools that go onto 18 are more expensive and I am really wary of making that huge commimtment, but having said that , dh and and I are willing to make sacrifices and work hard to give them the best education.
I feel like I'm going round in circles!

I wanted to say as well the expectation of the children when they get to year 7 at our school is very high and they do hit the ground running so you'd have to work on their general knowledge, times tables, spelling to a level 5 standard because any children in primary who aren't their by the end of year 5 get extra (free) tuition.

Also mamatomany you are right about have a couple of years fees in the pot - that is one of my fears about private - having to pull them out because we could'nt afford to carry on paying the fees.
Out of interest - generally how much do people have ( ie in how many terms worth of fees) saved ?

Private is ahead, but you can catch up. I caught mine up where necessary. (I moved mine because they were unhappy. And bored. And asked to be.)

Oh of course Hully, there is no way I would pay for reception or year1, even year2 tbh, despite the teachers claims that they would be behind
£8k to play in the sand pit I don't think so.

Sandpit?! You must be joking. Handwriting, reading, French, sums etc.