How did switching from state primary to private go?

[Forster]

Ds is in year 2 and we are considering moving him to private school from year 3.

Primary reasons are smaller class sizes and sport which he loves. I want him to have more opportunities to play tennis, cricket and rugby. Currently none of these are played at his very good state primary.

He is extremely happy and settled at his current school and this is the dilemma and although my head says do it my heart is not so sure.

Anyone else done this or decided not to do this.

I will

Best of luck at the taster day...

Just to say, we moved DS at year 3, but that was going from an infant school when everyone was moving anyway. Smaller class sizes with more academic challenge.

We moved our DDs both at year 7, again when everyone was moving from junior school, again for the academic challenge. All of our DCs got fed up of being held back by....

It was easier to move DS at year 3 than it was to move DD1 at year 7, but because of their friendships not because of the schools. DD2, when she moved, went without any friedns or even nodding acquanitances at the new school but took to it like a duck to water.

So even if you decide to stay put for now, you can always look at it again later down the line....

Didnt seem to finish my sentence there! " by taking too much time on topics whilst others couldnt be bothered to pay attention..." would be the best way to put that...

dd moved from our local state primary to private in September for y3

several reasons really - one, ALL her friends moved away - she'd been in a close-knit group of four since nursery but by half-way through y2 they'd all gone and even a lot of her 'peripheral' friends moved out

combined with the loss of friends, she was bored - her year was quite low-achieving academically (dd is extremely bright) - and the expectations were very low

dd was becoming increasingly disengaged with school and I couldn't see how we could keep her enthusiasm for learning going for another four years until secondary

within days of starting it was like she'd never been anywhere else - she's got loads of lovely new friends and loves the smaller classes (20 so not teensy and plenty of social opportunities), she relishes the academic challenge as the work is of an appropriate level and she has thrown herself into all the sporting opportunities

it's been a fantastic move for her - she's never once complained about being bored or cried and clung to me on the way into school :)

Ditto lots of other posters here.
We moved to indie for y4. To be honest, I feel a little out-of-water, aware that we do not have a new 4x4 car, big house etc... but that is MY problem, other parents are friendly and really don't seem to care. DS took around a half term to settle , but says it was completely worth it. He still plays with his village friends, and refuses to give up his local football team. He really seems to have the best of all worlds! Loads of sport at school, small class size, broader, more 'hands-on' curriculum (sp), and local friends to play with.
He was very happy at primary, but wanted more sport and music. Job done!

How did you deal with the move vis a vis your dc's friends at the primary they left?

It is such a personal decision. If we do it it it shall be because of issues for me and my dh as much as my dc. I don't want to go into all of that and I certainly do not want to be dismissive of the school. My preference would be to say as little as possible and stress he would like to stay in touch but I know that I will be asked why by some.

Our primary was small, and 2 of his friends had already gone private. I had been fairly open to parents that we are fans of the private sector, so I don't think it was a shock when we made the decision. He still see's his "old" friends in and around the village - in fact in our cul-d-sac where the kids play out on the street, there are 3 different primary age schools being attended.
Also, I didn't have to give reasons to people really as our local comp is awfull and in special measures. Lots of people are bailing out of the state system here because of the secondary schools.
Do you have an easy/obvious reason you could wheel-out when asked? Even if it isn't the real reason?
We have really had no problems. In fact DD (y1) is still at village primary.
If they want to be snooty about your personal decisions, then more-fool-them. Do what is right for you.

Like you our younger dc would still be at the school.

Least said the better, tends to be my motto. I find these situations so tricky though.

I would not do it in your situation, Forster.
My parents moved me to a "better" school on paper when I was almost 8; I did not settle, I made no friends, I was utterly miserable. The school and all my parents' friends said it was my fault (due to being Gifted . I badly underachieved. It took me years to recover confidence or believe in the value of education after I left that primary.

I guess I am oversensitive about this, therefore, but your reasons would not compelling enough for me to risk moving a very happy and settled child.

I moved DS for start of Yr6 from state to private primary (social reasons). He hasn't made any friends at new school, it is less academically challenging and well-resourced than the local state primary. But he doesn't refuse to go in, so a fairly successful transition. And I think the move has given us breathing space to help him learn to deal better with his peers.

You asked about friends, at that age I would expect your DS to lose touch with all his current friends within a few months except to say hello to when they bump into each other around town. As long as he does make friends at the new school he won't mind the loss of the old ones.

DS is 11, has one friend (sort of) still at his old primary (they meet up for a 10-15 minute chat most Fridays). The other boy, who is very shy, comes from a wealthy family who can easily afford private ed but choose to go state. I think that other boy would benefit hugely from attending a high school like DS's (quiet, supportive), but his parents are determined to throw him into the jungle of the local state high schools (poor kid, baptism of fire).

Thanks ragged. It is risky. Better the devil you know and all that.

Ds, fortunately for him, is a very popular boy and has always made friends fairly easily. But I know I cannot take that for granted. I found this side of schooling difficult and I think it is a prerequisite to everything else. If a child is unhappy it is hard to achieve what you can be.

Smaller class sizes plus greater opportuniites for sport are pulling me. We will have to give up quite a bit, but me and dh not very materialistic.

Forgive the typos, tis Saturday and have had some wine!

We moved DS1 to a private school in September at the start of Y3. DS2 went at the same time, for the start of Y1. This was so we did not have two school runs in different directions, different holidays, and also to make it easier for DS1 to settle. He had lots of friends at the old school and has missed them - I think it would be hard if DS2 was seeing the old friends daily and DS2 was not. DS2 loves dressing up so he is very pleased with the amazing range of uniform required for a prep school and would have hated to miss out.

DS2 has taken to the new school like a duck to water. He is in a much smaller class (12 not 25) so is made to read every day, whether he likes it or not, and can do extra maths if he wants to (he does). He had no particularly special friends at his other school (apart from 2 who also left at the end of reception) and was a bit lost in a two form entry year.

DS1 has settled in now, and is making friends. His class is 23 not 31. He's found it harder to adjust to the workload, and the lack of close friends. We'll do playdates with the new school friends over the holidays. Until now we've been catching up with old friends. I'm pleased that the school's expectations of the boys are higher now - DS1's reading age is his actual age, but they would like it to be a bit better than that, and I think he can manage with support, which he is getting.

It's the secondary schools here which are my concern, and so I just said to the other parents at the old school we were going private sooner rather than later. It helped that other people were doing the same at the end of year 2, and there were lots of people moving out of London at the end of year 2 as well.

There are some amazingly well off parents at the new school.... But my boys felt deprived before, because the kids from the council estate all had Wiis and X-Boxs (apparently) and we did not. Still don't!. There are differences at all school, and like others have said you need to try not to get wound up by them.

Thanks for this. I had not thought of things that way re my younger child but if we can afford it it would make sense to move them both at the same time.