Boarding chorister

[lifelongtraveller]

Do you regret letting your child become a chorister and a boarder?

My son, aged 9, has become, practically-speaking, a prisoner at school. By the time he finishes 5 years of this he will not remember what normal family life is at all. He is free to leave for a few hours only on a Sunday afternoon - in winter it is soon too dark even to take the dog for a walk at theis time and the town closes down at about 5, so there is basically nowhere to hang out. Holidays are weird - short because of singing commitments - just an exercise in marking time till he leaves again. The year before he left, waiting for him to start this school, was like waiting for him to die. It felt as if we were doing everything for the last time, which we were.

Does anybody regret their child becoming a chorister boarder?

Please take him out, it sounds like he has suffered enough. I just dont now why you put young boys in these awful situations. He is obviously unhappy. He isnt going to be a professional adult choir singer so why do this to him. He will always blame you too.

You hear all these stories of boys being abused in these situations too, I just dont know how you can leave young boys out of your sight in these situations, seriously, get a grip.

ZOMBIE THREAD (recently revived by someone whose child isn't yet a boarding chorister). The OP's son is at least 16 by now. (@lifelongtraveller , if reading, might update!)

Tom- we thought very seriously about DS being a chorister. We decided not to go down this route in the end, due to the massive impact it would have on the whole family but mainly felt boarding at 8/9 just way too young for our DS. It suits some children but wouldn't have suited ours.

Completely agree. Horrific! Full of abuse and he’s telling you he’s unhappy what else do you need to hear to act? He’s a baby!!! No one under high school age should ever ever be in boarding full stop. Personally I wouldn’t let our children go at any age either. Horrific frankly. Drive and get him now and keep him close. Poor poor boy.

@Husbandintheroom this post is 12years old.. they boy will be 20 now...

Ha that’s strange wonder why it came up as recent on MN:) hopefully OP did take him outta there or poor kids prob scarred!

Goodness, the poor boy! You know he desperately wants to come home - start making plans to remove him then.

Just realized the post is years old.

The choristers at our local cathedral are day pupils (girls as well as boys). It is busy for them with practices and busy Sundays, and parents do a lot of taxiing - but family life is not abandoned.

It is the most brilliant musical education and ex-choristers abound among professional musicians, festival administrators and music journalists. But there has to be a balance.