Private education - how did you get comfortable with the commitment?

[cestlavie]

Would appreciate anyone's thoughts on this.

In short, DW and I are in a position now where we're going to have to commit to putting DD1 (and by definition DD2) into private schooling at 7+. No need to give too much detail but suffice to say that state and private options are sufficiently limited in the area that if they don't go in at 4+ then it is very unlikely they'll have that option at any point in the future.

Sooo. For us, it's going to be a squeeze affording it. As it stands, we can just about to send them both provided we cut back on things like holidays and accept that early retirement certainly ain't going to be an option. That's all fine.

Both DW and I are professional service sector types so it's unlikely we're going to be in the same jobs for the next 18 years and redundancy (although unlikely) is always a possibility as we've all seen through the downturn.

Taking out a mortgage is fine. If you lose your job, and you've got some savings then you can ride it out for a while and in a worst case, most to a smaller place in a worse area. Effect on your kids probably not great, but not insurmountable. Being unable to keep them in private education though would be awful once they've started, especially knowing people who've been forced to make the private to state switch when they were younger.

So my question is, how did anyone else get comfortable committing to that level of expenditure for such a long period of time on something so important?

Agree with Litchick - haven't most parents considered the impact of university fees? And it may well not end there for many, there's even the prospect of having to fund professional exams after that.

Finding this thread very interesting. We recently returned from abroad and had no option but to place ds and dd in a private school (the state option was BAD!!) That is not to say there are some excellent state schools but our choice was not one of them.

We are now about to move again (long story) and need to put dc in a new school (hopefully will stay at next place to give them some stability). However, we have 4 children and know it is not realistic that we will be able to afford private education for all of them. So we are looking at state options - have to admit though I do feel a little sad as I do like the small classes and facilities you get at prep schools.

We are still talking about whether we could possibly afford it but I think we already know the answer. Will be making the decision in the next few weeks. Having said that I am a private prep teacher (not working at the moment) so am considering whether to try and go back to work and get some fee remission. Before I get shot down that wouldn't be my reason for going back - I LOVE my job and am now almost ready to return after having our four children.

Not sure what route we will go down yet but this thread has really made me get my head around what commitment we would be taking on for four children.

Has anyone else out there managed to fund four and what impact did it have?

private school take credit cards dont they?

The thing that worries me about paying fees is what would happen if I had to go on maternity leave again? All the schools I know of have funds set aside for parents who get into short term financial difficulties but i dont hink they'd cover mat leave.

Do you have life insurance to cover the fees of one of you dies? I think you can even get cover for fees if made unemployed.

If one of you becomes ill/disabled and theother has to be their carer is probably the worst financial scenario as you lose both incomes but wont be covered by insurance.

There are also some grant-making trusts which will cover fees.

Also if you are changing school outwith the normal entry points it is much easier to get into the top state schools.

Has anyone else out there managed to fund four and what impact did it have?

There are several families with 4 children at our children's school and none of them pay 4 sets of fees, 3 and a half maximum.
We pay 2.5 and it is a struggle on one income but in truth with two £30k plus salaries it's not impossible.

Getting comfortable is a good way of putting it. I don't think you do get comfortable paying but you certainly get very comfortable when you no longer have to, in more ways than one .

Our fees are £9300 per year for really quite decent schools- one school was 33rd in the country for A level results, the other is 63rd or of that order.

foreverastudent - some take credit cards, many don't though.

Thanks for all the thoughts on here. Much appreciated and an interesting discussion.

Am more sanguine about university tuition fees as they're a long way away and putting aside a relatively small amount per month for each child means that should hopefully be covered by the time we get there - obviously you never know if university fees go through the roof but then the vast majority of us would be screwed anyway so probably not worth worrying about.

Life insurance makes sense. Critical illness seems to make less sense and unemployment insurance no sense at all - you have to pay about as much in premiums as you'd get back if you lost your job. Not surprising really.

This thread has helped get my head around it a bit more - when at least it's good to know there's as many people out there fretting about it as much as me and DW!

Good to hear people have helped : ) So does that mean you are thinking you will go ahead? Just curious because we are thinking we won't - we do have four children mind you. Dc are in private at the moment but our life is just so different now. We used to go on a couple of cruises a year (which the children are begging to do again), we used to buy nice clothes for them in Monsoon (not that that is really important), we used to go out for meals as a family and weekends away - that has all stopped. And I just feel that although you can't overemphasise the importance of education, the children are missing out so much on other great childhood experiences. Sooo we are looking at moving very soon to an area that is known for its great state schools (that is our primary motive for moving). We just wondered if we could find an outstanding state school and have more money to spend on fun times for them that would be a better balance than scrimping and wondering where the next cheque will come from.

Having said that it is still a decision we are still wrestling with and I am determined to get back to school soon (private) with the possibility of bringing them along with me. Worth a thought!

Good luck with your decision - it is not an easy one!!!

arizonagirl: that's what we've done, we have 4 children too. We moved to an area where there is an outstanding primary school, a lovely village.

It also helps that the nearest private is 20 miles away, so most wouldn't bother with it until much later on, as they wouldn't want to put their children (and themselves) through such a journey every morning!

I realise this is a compromise in certain ways, but we try and compensate what the children are not getting via giving them lots of opportunities outside of school.

We will never know whether we've done the right thing, but at the moment we've got a good balance - this might of course change in years to come! Watch this space and good luck with your decision! :o)

Nice post emy72, thank you .

Very reassuring to hear that it has worked out for you. Did you choose the school and then get lucky with places? Thinking it is going to be really hard finding a great state school that isn't full.

Off to look at schools next week, see what happens.

arizonagirl - it was all a bit of a trauma tbh. We were supposed to move in time for my DD1 to start reception, but of course the house buying process took forever so when we got here DD1 missed out as the school was oversubscribed.

We sent her to a different school hoping a place would come up - we were very lucky as a family moved out of the village in April last year and we took her place and DS1 took the reception place.

So they are in now - we were 1 on the waiting list as we lived so close to the school....

but it was a stressful time indeed!

Good luck and sorry to the OP for hijacking!

Lol, no problem emy72/ arizonagirl.

Emy72: good to hear it's all worked out for you. Obviously, whilst private schooling gives a lot of opportunities on a plate, you can get all the same outside of school (and have the money to afford them...)

arizona/girl: know what you mean about giving lots of other stuff up. Personally though I'm not that fussed about it - hopefully will still have the money to treat the kids to meals out and some posh clothes once in a while. Luckily, most of our friends don't have loads of money so we and our kids don't feel like they'll be missing out comparatively (um, until if/ when we start private schooling!).

You see we had ours in state for 4 years and all the posh clothes, parents helping out, educational holidays etc couldn't compensate for the fact that the national curriculum aims so low and teaches such claptrap. Even the state school teachers themselves admitted their days are wasted with so much pandering to ofstead they don't do nearly enough actual work.
Ours have come on leaps and bounds since they moved and I will have something to show for my money at the end of it with a bit of luck.