Can I ask a question of any primary/secondary teachers please re talking in class?

[goldenticket]

Class situation where quiet work is expected or teacher is talking. Child A talks to child B. Child B is trying to concentrate and "shushes" Child A. Teacher hears Child B and tells them off/gives them a punishment/puts them on the warning etc.

This situation has arisen a few times recently, both with my children and others that I know of. What is child B better off doing, given that they don't want child A to be talking to them in the first place? Am thinking dobbing child A in wouldn't go down well, especially at secondary level?

Any advice gratefully received!

If this keeps happening, then child B needs to approach the teacher after the class, explain the situation and asked to be moved away from child A.

If it's a one off, I'd let it go. It's a lesson in how teachers are not always able to tell exactly who is talking, and that they are (occasionally) human beings.

I'd give both a warning and tell child B to not listen, then A won't have anybody to talk to.

And if it was my child, I'd take their insistence that they weren't talking with a pinch of salt tbh!

And after that - yes, agree with Tethers.

Thanks - am certainly not implying that my children never chat (!) but one of them is sitting next to a very very chatty little boy (possible ADHD I think) while another occurence involved the quietest, most well behaved girl in the whole school getting hauled out in front of the whole class and given a dressing down .

Good advice though tethersend - my ds likes this little boy but is struggling with sitting next to him, so think I'll advise him to do just that.

How old are they? I think it probably gets harder, the older they get tbh - as they don't want to lose face. If at primary school, it's probably worth you mentioning it to the teacher.

I'm a teacher at secondary and am occasionally approached by kids asking to be moved away from a chatty friend with the request "Please, don't tell them I asked to move." :)

I move them and take the rap :o

Can't your children just ignore the other child? That is what I would want them to do.

I think they do try mummytime but guess it's difficult when the teacher is, for example, issuing instructions as to what needs to be done and someone's rabbitting in their ear. Ignoring has always been my advice to date fwiw.

That's interesting Maria33, thank you.

agree with maria 33, but also a student shushing another is just adding to the noise level/distraction factor, and is likely to get admonished by me for that. They need to be quiet and hope their chatty "pal" gets the hint/is spotted by me(quite probably already has).
It's my job to quiet the class for instructions, not the other pupils. If I have asked for quiet (or am speaking - ergo you shut up and listen) then anyone who disrupts that is opening themselves up for critcism from me.

A trick I have finally managed to teach my DS is if anyone is talking to you when they shouldn't be... say nothing and DON'T LOOK AT THEM. Similarly if someone starts nudging, kicking, etc at carpet time. Say nothing and FOLD YOUR ARMS. I wonder if any teachers on here woud agree if this usually works.

It seems to have worked for DS, but maybe he is just getting older, or doesn't bother complaining so much to me about the "wicked, mean, unfair teachers." I think he used to be unable to restrain himself from joining the fight conversation, or would start telling off the other children, but he is now getting in a lot less trouble for "talking", when he thinks he wasn't and then getting into worse trouble for answering back.

Sometimes of course, he starts the chat, and he is then quite philosophical about taking the rap.

Loving the 'Say nothing and fold your arms' advice. I think it could work in many situations, not just the classroom!

totally choccy p1g, excellent way to behave. folded arms giving out very strong signals he isn't involved.

Just ignore. As a teacher, I can quite honestly say that it's the kids who do the "shush"ing (or worse - say "shut up!" loudly) who disturb the lesson more. Often because they feel put out if they're spoken to about it, and make a big deal about it not being fair as they were correcting the other child's behaviour. I always point out that it's MY job to ask students to be quiet, not theirs. Unfortunately "SHHHHHHHHHHHH" can often come out louder than the original whisper.

Eviltwins, you cannot be serious.

About what? The ignoring bit? Or the bit where I said that a kid saying "SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" then arguing that they were not doing anything wrong, but were in fact trying to correct the behaviour of the original child is in fact wildly annoying?

I teach secondary, so this is a bit different from the OP, but yes, I stand by that. One child says something to another, and rather than ignoring that child, a second child starts "SHHHHH"ing loudly, then objects to getting told off. Yes, I am serious.

EvilTwins what do you suggest they do in secondary when they ignore, ignore, ignore and the child doesn't stop talking so they end up having to say shush as the teacher has done nothing? Seems a bit unfair telling the one saying shush off when they want to concentrate.

DS has had this problem (not that he's any angel!) - I advised him to ask the teacher if he could not have to sit next to the other child, but the teacher moved the other child anyway

I have too bigTillyMint but it just gives some other the kid the problem

I know, but you have to have your child's best interests at heart

Maybe the teacher needs to find a spot on their own for the overly chatty child, at least for part of the time?

When I was at school, a very long time ago, there was absolute silence so any whisper would be heard and dealt with immediately. I don't remember the problem but then again we were all in rows facing forward. Maybe that's easier to monitor.

I would advise the child to put their hand up and tell the teacher. If the counter-arguement to that is that the child wouldn't want to bring attention to himself or be seen as a tell-tale, then I would point out that saying "SHHHHHHHHH" and then following it with "But MISS. He wouldn't shut up" is just as likely to draw attention.

Either that or have a quiet word with the teacher at the end of the lesson and ask to be moved.

During the lesson, I would hope that the teacher had noticed the first child was continually causing a disturbance.

But I do stand by my original comment that the "shhhhh" is often louder than the original disturbance (because in reality, it's often "SHUT UP" or similar, not just a quiet "hush")

goldenticket - was the teacher who dressed down the quiet pupil, new to the school? So she didn't know the kids, I mean?

Dd2, a very quiet girl, recently had a whole class detention from the new science teacher, as pupils were chatting in class.

She, as she wasn't talking, felt pretty aggrieved about it. Why do teachers hand out these whole class punishments?

I don't think at secondary putting your hand up and telling the teacher is a realistic solution as you'll get a name for yourself for being a snitch, especially if it happens in more than one lesson. I suppose all you can do is ask to be moved. I still think telling the one that says shush off is a bit unfair (obviously depends how loud they say this).

I would tell them both off.

As I've said, the "shusher" can often be just as disruptive, and just as loud.

Evil Twins you are just the sort of teacher I remember so well from school. That's why I hated it. The sort of teacher who was unfair and never identified the real culprits, being nasty instead to the children who actually caused far less bother. Why's that? Is it because the more badly behaved children might answer back and be insolent or have the kind of parent(s) you you don't especially want to deal with?