AAAARRRRRGGGHH! Help please, (seriously) with over-achieving DS!

[BecauseImWorthIt]

DS1 did much better than expected in his A-levels. Hurrah!

But he's now decided he doesn't want to take up his university place because he wants to go to a 'better' university. (He had to apply for a lower-ranking university as his AS levels, and therefore his predicted grades, were relatively low).

It's going to mean him taking a gap year, which wasn't planned.

Has anyone else gone through this? How did it work/what did you do?

DH is really worried that he will miss out on a place altogether if he leaves it to apply last year, as so many disappointed students from this year will be applying next year.

He's also really concerned that he won't be able to get a job during the year, as there are no jobs - and the idea of him just slobbing around the house for the next year is obviously not great, and won't go down well with any prospective university.

Personally, I think DS1 is probably right in his instincts - I've seen (used to deal in recruitment for one of the companies I worked in) the snobbery that surrounds choice of university - and he has grades/points that are potentially good enough to get into a top 15 university (instead of one which is currently around 40-50 in the rankings).

Any ideas/suggestions for what we should do? We have to sort this out within the next two days, so no pressure!

Many, many thanks in anticipation.

Whoops

"DH is really worried that he will miss out on a place altogether if he leaves it to apply last next year, as so many disappointed students from this year will be applying next year"

Sorry - all in a tiz at the moment!

I can only offer anecdotal evidence but I think your son's idea is very good. I'm sure he will find work - there are jobs if you're willing to do anything, but there are also plenty of voluntary opportunities out there so he will be able to get lots of 'real life' experience as well.

He'll also know where he stands as by applying with grades he will know whether he's going or not as universities will probably either reject or give an unconditional offer.

HTH

I'd say it depends a bit on the subject he's interested in reading.

Can you talk to him to see if he has the commitment to do volunteering or an internship in the field he's interested on going into in the future. This will help with the Uni admission, as well as his employability once he graduates.
(Though even internships are hard to come by right now, to be honest )

Can you look into 'Adjustment' if he'd still be happy to go somewhere this year? If he goes onto his UCAS track it will tell him if he's eligible, but it just means that those who did better than expected have a small gap of time where they can look for a place on a better course/better uni. The only thing now is that those better places may have been snapped up in clearing already.

If he wants to apply again for next year UCAS opens to applications from 1st September I think it is so he can start researching his courses now and apply straight away ahead of lots of other people. Most of the universities have put the information for these courses onto UCAS already and he can register for Apply now already too so it's not too early to start again.

Adjustment has closed - part of the reason for the aaargh!.

He achieved AAB, with an A* for his Extended project, which is worth an extra 70 points and, I think, reasonably highly regarded as it is about independent study.

Re volunteering, yes I think that whilst paid employment in some ways is preferable, it may not (given what he's likely to be able to get) look as 'good' on an application as something voluntary.

Well done to DS1.
I shouldn't worry about competing with this/next year's disappointeds - he was competing against last/this year's disappointeds (there were a lot of them!) and got offered a place this time round.

Philosophy and history

I got him to work out a list of places this afternoon, but we havent had a chance to talk about it yet. He's gone out this evening (another AAAAARRGGH!). But places like Sussex, Reading and Sheffield are on his list I think.

Ds1 took an unexpected gap year after getting better results than he had thought he would last year. He changed his mind on his offer for music technoology as he realised it wouldn't be a good idea to do a foundation degree at his college with the potential to transfer to a university in a later year. He was too late for clearing as places had gone by this point.
He decided he would apply for entry this year.
We explained that he would have to get a job etc and pay contributions to the household. He got a job quite quickly in a local supermarket. It's been good for him to learn the meaning of hard work and dealing with other people as an adult. He's kept up with his music by playing in his band and has done various sound engineering work for local bands.
He has also decided that for him a degree in music tech is not worth it. He is planning on studying in the future but is still undecided on what subject and course.

I would advise that you set out with your son a timetable for the following year so you can see what he needs to do by when to achieve a place for next year. Open days, cvs, applications etc.
Have you looked at the Open University, not for a full degree but a course to keep his hand in for the next year?

If you can afford to keep him, I would suggest voluntary work-although his degree subjects don't leap out at you as vocational! It would certainly look good on his statement as long as he explains why( And have a look at Sheffield, it's great!)

Thanks all.

Currently having massive argument with (D)H about it all, so won't be around for a while

There is simply no point in studying a pure academic subject like philosophy and history at an ex-poly: employers will not give much credit for the resulting degree and, with honourable exceptions the course will not be really rigorous. Your ds's instincts are entirely right; but you are right to want him to fill the year constructively. I do a lot of graduate recruitment (law firm) and we love voluntary work; but we also like to see people who have had the backbone to stick at an ordinary job of the type that lots of people have to do for ever (hospital porter, shelf filling, care assistant)

Hope you sort it out; and well done to your ds

I took a year out after school, I did apply for deferred entry whilst in 6th form though so already had my place.

I worked in a bar and raised some money to pay for beer rent when I started uni. It was only bar work I know but it brought me out of myself and I was more independent because of it.I should probably have been more career minded and got some work experience though...

On a practical note: DC1 applied last year and accepted a well-known, RG, posh Uni as CI. Didn't get the grades, so flunked both CF & CI and took a year out to do retakes. The same prestigeous Uni, who we had only thought worthy of 'insurance' status, was still kind enough to made an offer at the second time of asking (and, remember, this is before the retake results are known).
I'll bet that your current offer will offer again next year. Meanwhile you will have 4 other UCAS choices to look at.
Encourage him to follow his dreams.

I took a year out between school and university. I spent the year working for Community Service Volunteers (csv.org.uk). With them you get free meals, accomodation and a small bit of cash each week. They have all sorts of opportunities available from working with children to the elderly.

I can really recommend doing something like this. I needed to take a break from studying (my Dad was very ill and died during that year), but I also think I started uni with more maturity and a clearer idea of what I wanted from life. I also know that it direclty contributed to me getting my frist job after completing my degree. After interviews, the company were trying to choose between me and one other candidate. We both had similar levels of education and had given similar interviews. My year volunteering was the one difference between us and the company thought this showed initiative and an ability to cope with stressful situations.

So, provided your DS does something sensible with his time, a year out can be a very useful thing to have on his cv.

Getting some work experience (even grot jobs eg.Supermarkets, bars, McDonalds, Factories etc.) Will help him later in life. Do also look at jobs as Teaching Assistants etc. I am sure there are some jobs out there, and a mix of grot jobs plus maybe some charity work could prove a useful distinguishing factor in the future.

is there really snobbery about how you get your degree?

my DS has special needs and is doing a foundation degree so he can stay at home while studying - does this mean it will limit his future prospects? he already works part time in his chosen field. im worried now. there is enough bloody pressure on them without it coming down to which uni - i thought a degree was a degree was a degree? bloody hell.

I took a twar off when I got much better grades than expected (by me). I had confidence issues. I went from doing a vocational degree at a local college to doing an academic degree whch I was actually interested in away from home. In the year off I worked in a shop. It was useful to be just that bit more grown up when I went away.

Thanks all.

DH is actually very worried about finance (other things going on chez BIWI) - so DS1 is going to have to get a job.

I agree with what others have posted here, a job no matter how lowly will be good for him. (Actually a lowly job will probably be even better for him - give him a bit of perspective on life and how spoiled lucky he is).

Sadly, Vicar, I don't think it's true that 'a degree is a degree is a degree' - there is still a lot of snobbery about 'proper' universities, rather than ex-polys. Having said that, I still believe firmly that a degree is a good thing to have, so I'm sure your DS, in his situation, is still on the right track. Please don't worry!

UCAS also suggested putting his current/accepted choice in his next application on the basis that he would have this as a definite insurance, and they reassured me that the university wouldn't 'take offence' that they had been turned down this year. Unfortunately, from DH's perspective, if we end up sending him to this university after all - i.e. if he doesn't get an offer from his other choices - then we will have wasted a year.

So we have to make sure as much as we can that he will get offers from his other choices - and as we all know, this is not necessarily guaranteed. And it seems to be even riskier with the 'better' universities, which is what makes all of this so nerve-wracking.

Tell Dh that if he goes to uni this year he may end up having to do an MA to distinguish himself and compete with those from the top 15 unis. A gap year now is cheaper than an MA in the future! Also he has got v. good grades and good unis will be falling over themselves to give offfers to someone who has got the grades already rather than base an offer on predicted grades.

That's a good point, witch!

also DH needs to accept that your son is now an adult and thus the final choice HAS to be his.

I'd treat it as a positive opportunity.

These days employers have huge choice of candidates ( both from here and abroad) so they use which uni you went to as another sifter.
This ca only help your DS in the long run, and he can use this year to make himself stand out further.

How about a job abroad? Lots of opportunities for low paid/live in type stuff. Brush up on a language and show how self sufficient he is.