Middle Class Dilemma - state school daughters, public school sons?

[Cortina]

Just read an article 'The Son Only Rises' by James Delingpole published this month, sorry don't have a link.

It bascially makes the point that in cash strapped times if you can afford to send just one child to private school you should chose your son. This is why according to article:

1. Boys, whether we like it or not are much more likely to end up earning their family's crust, while girls - especially if they're pretty- can always marry someone rich regardless of their education.

1. Girls, being more sophisticated, devious and socially adept than boys are more capable of negotiating the complexities of the state-school system than boys

1. Boys are generally lazier and less mature than girls so will benefit from more discipline and rigour at private school.

1. Boys are usually more physical and the sport on offer is better quality and more frequent than at the average state school.

Delingpole says, tongue in cheek I hope, that he's still holding out for a lottery win that will buy his girl an education too but this is the outcome he is hoping for:

'Boy goes to tailcoat-wearing school full of boys desperate to meet attractive sisters with urban, state-educated cred; Girl meets future duke/hedgefunder and never has to work again. I don't call that sexist. I call that common sense'.

Hmmmmm

fair enough

I also think this is a load of twaddle.

Getorf do you mean comp vs private or any kind of state school? I went to a state grammar, my db to a private school. Similar eductional opportunities and experiences and no resentment on my part.

I know lots of families now where this is the case.

No, pag, I think I remember you from that thread (or others) - iirc you busted a gut to get your DS a place in that school, didn't you?

You are so the exception to the rule.

Perhaps I am talking out my arse - I only have the one child so don't know. But I don't think that if I had a bright as a button kid I would spend X amount a year sending that cild to a private school, and the normal bog standard kid would just go to the local comp. I seriously do not know how people can make that decision. It is like emphatically saying 'YOU are more importnat than HER'

Isn't it true that men are far more likely to be the main breadwinner?

I know someone who sent one of her children to private school because that child really struggled academically. The more able one went to state school.

We have relatives who have done just this.

The only female (State Comp) has done extremely well though, she will earn far more than her Private school grad brothers.

I was at the whole scenario tbh and still think it was an awful thing to do. Especially when at a family gathering the father was ripping the piss out of how poor his DD's school was

But maybe the fact that men are more likely to be the main breadwinner is just a logical reason.

If you aren't prepared to treat your children equally then you shouldn't have children at all. Perhaps a goldfish would be more suitable for people who think this is a good idea?

GerOrfMoiLand - I dunno it could send the opposite message 'You're so thick we have to PAY for your school'...

(I know someone who gave up ballet as a child when it was suggested that she take extra lessons - she thought, 'well if I'm that crap I'll pack it in'. 20 years later turns out lessons were suggested because she was good....)

yes, cat, I think if you do want to send one child private, it makes sense to look carefully at what each child might gain from it.

I do think it sends a terrible messgae to daughters, if parents choose to send a son. Terrible.

If for no other reason than gender, obv

all the more reason to arm the female with as good an education as you can afford then pointydog, no?

Girls arent really doing better at school anyway, im pretty sure they just manipulate the figures. If its split in to classes, middle class boys still do better than working class girls.. Sending children to private school based on their sex can only encourage more of a gender gap.

My brother was educated privately. The reasons for this are that my parents could afford to send him to a prep school first and then onto public school, he thus took CE and passed.

I was given the chance at 11 to take exams for very academic girls private schools. I failed. I had no preparation and then took the exam blind.

In parents eyes I had the chance so went to the state school. As they saw it there were no other options.

Not necessarily, four.

It's a very stark way of approaching it but if statistics show that a man is more likely to be the main breadwinner over a longer period of time with no career breaks, then that provides a logical reason for sending a son to private school.

I don't agree with it but it does make sense.

What if your daughter never get married or has children? It would seem a good idea to arm her with a good education too.

What happens if your daughter never marries? Is she to be condemned to never being able to earn a professional salary?

I personally think, though, you don't need a private education to do well, but the author is writing from the starting point that you can't do well in a state school.

What about one child at a grammar school and then one at a private school. We have two DC's, one who has a August birthday and another who is chomping at the bit in school and is a definite grammer school child.

Is that the same sort of education and opportunity?

I just can't get my head round the fact that in this day and age there are still parents out there who believe that their son automatically has better prospects than that of their daughter. Or that their daughter should aspire to marrying a man for financial security. Perhaps I am just naive.

With my own DCs, DD who is the eldest, has always been very bright.DS1 and DS2 are both dyslexic.

We only have one grammar school in the whole city, so competition for places is very tough, about 700 pupils going for 140 places. The children who are offered places, are usually ones who have been tutored to complete the bond papers.

When choosing a secondary school for DD, I did consider trying for the grammar school, but I could not justify paying £30 an hour for a tutor to teach her to pass an exam when her brothers could not read or write.

I completely agree, crack and civil. The big flaw with choosing just based on gender and statistics, is that you have no idea how life will pan out for your own individual children. You are therefore placing a bet, really, on your children's lives.