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Oh I am really cross! Please help me create appropriate feedback.

36 replies

crazyloon1 · 12/12/2008 16:47

Or tell me if I am being a dick, but honestly I don't think I am.

I bought an item last week. I did buy it now despite there being the offer facility - it was in good condition. I sent the seller a pleasant message advising how to pack it as it was potentially vulnerable in the post and I'm quite experienced at this so sent her some tips. I had no response.
The item arrived a few days later. It was packed really badly - a sort of misinterpretation of what I had suggested, if you like, but obviously wasn't going to make it and of course it was bashed.
The damage was not dire, ie it was useable but not very good to look at - you'd have to have half of it facing the wall (twas a lampshade) and so I sent an email saying it was bashed and I didn't carry any hard feelings as she had 'obviously tried her best' but please could we arrange a partial refund or a return.
She said 'Of course, I will refund you when it comes back including return postage costs' which I thought was very kind, but then I asked her what she would consider a fair partial refund if I kept it. I told her I could still use it but wouldn't want to have paid that much for a damaged item.

She said how about £15 (I paid 20 inc post) which I thought was very generous, and agreed to - however it didn't happen for a couple of days so I messaged again, then realised that she meant she would keep 15 and refund 5. So I said I had misunderstood and asked for her address to return it to instead. I offered to pay return postage as well which seemed fair.
I got a very snotty email back saying basically get stuffed - in a polite, prim manner - and that I had changed my mind so no, it was no returns and she had said that on her listing. I said it didn't matter, that was purely for people who changed their minds about an item, not who received something bashed to bits.
She said £5 or nothing, so I said I was sorry it had come to this, and opened a dispute today suggesting a partial refund of £12 - she refused and suggested £9.93 so I decided that was better than a kick in the teeth and at least I didn't have to package it again.
She sent a really horrid comment though with the refund. It said 'I suggest you lower your expectations in future and buy from a recognised retailer'
I mean I thought if something was described as good and arrived in a state, that wasn't really fair...but then some people are just weird.
I have got my part refund and a crappy bashed lampshade. Now I have the honour of leaving her feedback, and I can't get it down to 60 characters....please help me! She can't neg me as a seller, but do I leave neutral or neg? She won't be getting a positive for sure.

OP posts:
crazyloon1 · 12/12/2008 16:48

Btw she has form for backing out of sales and so on - only 6 positive and recent neg means she has 85.7%. I was so livid about her attitude more than the actual item.

OP posts:
LedodgyChristmasjumper · 12/12/2008 16:50

It should have arrived in an as advertised state and you were right to ask for a refund. However you do sound like you were very patronising from the off which may have got her back up.

matildax · 12/12/2008 16:53

hi,
bloody hell, some sellers are such idiots!!!!
i would say, very unreasonable transaction from the beginning.
poor you.
neg her, she deserves it.
i think it sounds like you have been very patient with her, and were well within your rights to ask for partial refund.
i hate ebay at times!!!!
hth
x

crazyloon1 · 12/12/2008 16:56

I was thinking, 'Item damaged, seller refused refund. Claimed via dispute'

but she did offer a small refund, I think she thought I was trying it on and wanted my cake etc.

I almost wish I'd sent it back now for her to deal with - but that'd have cost me a fiver at least.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 12/12/2008 16:57

ok, she was rude, and difficult

BUT, you did ask for, and get your partial refund.
i think it was petty of her to refuse a full refund having previously offered it, but she is within her rights if the auction said no refunds anyway.

I would leave neutral and say about the bad packaging and unhelpful seller,.
but leave it at that

crazyloon1 · 12/12/2008 16:58

thanks - Ledodgy I tried hard not to be patronising, it's general protocol for experienced sellers to drop a few hints/requests about packing as it helps avoid this sort of thing.

I was v friendly initially and hope it didn't sound teacherish. But i guess that could have been her problem.

OP posts:
crazyloon1 · 12/12/2008 17:00

TIY - it's not within her rights. Those specs are for sellers to opt into taking returns if something doesn't fit, or the colour is wrong - not if it ain't as described. That's a whole other situation iyswim.

People can say as many 'no returns' sort of clauses as they like but at the end of the day if you pay via paypal you're entitled to a refund if it's damaged.

OP posts:
meemar · 12/12/2008 17:00

You sound like you behaved reasonably throughout.

She forced you to go to dispute because she wouldn't accept that she was in the wrong, which is a waste of everyone's time and energy.

I think she deserves negative. Keep comments simple such as "badly packaged item damaged on arrival. Unnacceptable refund offered. Finally settled after dispute"

fruittea · 12/12/2008 17:02

badly packed, arrived damaged, part refund after much hassle

60 characters exactly

crazyloon1 · 12/12/2008 17:03

This was my initial email - is it patronising?

Hello, I have just bought your lampshade - please could you ensure it is packed really well, the best thing is to put it in one box, then a larger box with padding inside between the two boxes. Otherwise Royal mail are likely to drop it off a fork lift and it will be bent! If you can't manage two boxes please make sure the box you use is very strong. Thankyou very much, Best wishes

I thought that was Ok. ?

In the event she sellotaped two fruit boxes together around the middle which just closed into each other and squashed it completely! Which understandably might have seemed like what I was saying, I suppose...I would have understood if she had stayed nice about it and not suddenly got really mean. I didn't get mean at all.

OP posts:
crazyloon1 · 12/12/2008 17:04

Fruittea I might use that, thanks. The hassle bit is good, appropriate word and not too ott.

Meemar thanks. I dunno, I am not very good at this stuff..

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 12/12/2008 17:08

i have to say, if someone sent me a message on how to pack an item it would piss me off a bit.

I would think well, if you're that picky, and think that I am too stupid to package tsomething properly then maybe you should just go to a shop????

it was a bit patronising.

meemar · 12/12/2008 17:10

I don't think it matters whether she found your email patronising. I, personally (as an inexperienced seller) would have been grateful for the tip.

She didn't packed securely enough and it got damaged. Then she didn't want to accept responsibility for it.

Her feedback record looks pretty crap anyway and you can see why. She needs to learn from it, and she wont if she has an attitude toward her buyers.

thisisyesterday · 12/12/2008 17:11

i still think it's wrong to leave negatie feedback just because she was arsey.

ateotf you got the item you wanted, with a partial refund that you found acceptable.

how can you leave neg?

meemar · 12/12/2008 17:12

thisisyesterday - the point is that she was too stupid to pack it properly, even with instruction!

thisisyesterday · 12/12/2008 17:14

or maybe just pissed off?

regardless of that, as I say, she DID offer a refund initially, which the OP refused.
the OP has the lampshade, and she has the partial refund she wanted.

you are looking at end result here. you got what you wanted at a price you felt acceptable.
by all means leave neutral and explain the bad packaging and bad attitude etc, but negative isn't necessary IMO

meemar · 12/12/2008 17:15

I don't think the neg should be left because she was arsey, but because it was a negative transaction, and the OP has a damaged lampshade.

Yes, she got a partial refund, but only after more hassle than necessary.

crazyloon1 · 12/12/2008 17:16

Well, it feels bad to leave neg - especially as she started off being nice - but I don't think I could have made things better as I tried being nice and she didn't care.

I dunno.

Fwiw I still think the lampshade looks shit but keeping it for a tenner or sending it back and losing a fiver (or more), well maybe I can sell it on or something. You kind of lose both ways as a buyer when something goes wrong. That's why I sent the packing email. I hoped to avoid this.

OP posts:
crazyloon1 · 12/12/2008 17:18

Lol at passive aggressive seller, putting it in a jiffy bag because she thought I deserved it to be squashed

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 12/12/2008 17:18

Fwiw I still think the lampshade looks shit but keeping it for a tenner or sending it back and losing a fiver (or more), well maybe I can sell it on or something.

but she offered you a full refund to start with! if you weren't happy to keep the lampshade as it is then why didn't you accept that???
if you were happy to keep it with a partial refund then you can't comp-lain about it still being damaged... how bizarre

PortAndStilton · 12/12/2008 17:21

How about

If you expect undamaged item use recognised retailer instead

After all, that's her own advice...

crazyloon1 · 12/12/2008 17:22

TIY - I didn't refuse it, I asked her what she would refund if I decided to keep it. I wanted to know the options. At no point did I say 'no thanks' to her original offer. She simply thought I had.

OP posts:
crazyloon1 · 12/12/2008 17:24

thanks P&S - good one!

Also - tbh I don't think had I returned it (and bear in mind I didn't even have her address by then, and not sure I'd have got it) that she would actually have refunded everything.
I said to her at the start that most sellers don't refund both ways postage, so I appreciated her generosity.

But now I think she probably wouldn't have done so anyway.

OP posts:
crazyloon1 · 12/12/2008 17:25

And I think it would have been Ok if I had only paid a fiver for it.

I accepted the £9 whatever because by that stage I was onto a loser anyway. It was the best option iyswim?

OP posts:
meemar · 12/12/2008 17:36

I think that if you plan to sell on ebay you need to be a bit professional and not go into it in a half-arsed way.

See yourself as a seller and the buyers as customers. Yes some customers might be difficult, you might think someone is being patronising - so what? Your aim is to sell your item and get money for it!

She should have packed it properly, and if she did it badly on purpose because she was pissed off at the packing advice, then she deserves what she gets!

She shouldn't have offered a refund then retracted it.

I think:

If she did her best and there were problems beyond her control she should get a positive.

If the problems were her own fault but she tried hard to fix them, she deserves a neutral.

If the problems were her own fault and she was unhelpful and made things difficult she deserves a negative.

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