Am confused as to whether he agreed collection before hand. If not, I think you are on sticky ground by expecting it. I would not be impressed if someone demanded to collect following an auction-it might just be not convenient, tbh.
BUT if he's listed collection as an option, or agreed to it, I think its a different matter.
I also think there is a tricky situation legally here. On the one hand, yes you may have technically agreed to pay up for postal costs when you made the contract. On the other, as far as I understand it, paypal rules do not allow onerous or unreasonable p&p. This is basically to protect them as, paypal aside, they don't get a cut of p&p, so seller do hike up the p&p and reduce the price accordingly, but the rules are there.
I'd consider involving ebay at this point, if he's still being arsey.
Can you link to the actual item so we can all be nosy and give you more opinions?