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Original poster

Quick bit of advice please on buyer

59 replies

BadSkiingMum · 04/05/2018 13:10

I have sold an item for babies/toddlers and have received a message asking for 'discreet packaging'. A little bit of online searching reveals that the buyer is a teenage boy living in a very rural area. It is an item that somebody could use for other than its intended purpose, iyswim.

I don't feel comfortable sending out the item, but don't want to totally embarrass them either. They have paid but I haven't posted yet.

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 05/05/2018 09:04

You can cancel the sale if you want, but you will get a seller defect on your record, and there is also the risk of the buyer leaving negative feedback.

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone · 05/05/2018 10:26

I have just cancelled a sale. I've had perfect feedback until now but I've had three people change their minds after buying an item off me recently. eBay won't make them pay so I just have to cancel, so my argument is that it should go two ways.
I'm at a point where I just don't care anymore. The eBay buyers I seem to attract are ridiculous and it's just not worth the hassle so I just thought "fuck it". The last ones didn't pay for four days then wanted me to post (at my expense) for it to arrive quicker, when I'd stated three business days on my listing. If it's urgent, pay straight away AngryI couldn't even be bothered to explain myself to them.
You can easily do it OP. You may risk negative feedback but it's your decision.

lljkk · 05/05/2018 10:28

Sale is a legal contract. OP deserves a strike against her account if she want to cancel sale on unproven suspicians (something that Ebay may not object to, either).

19lottie82 · 05/05/2018 10:29

eBay won't make them pay so I just have to cancel

Why not open a non payment case? It’s a lot quicker than requesting to cancel the sale (3 days compared to 7), unless the buyer agrees to cancel straight away, but in my experience they just ignore it and you have to wait a week for it to time out in your favour.

AND the buyer will get a defect on their account for non payment.

lljkk · 05/05/2018 11:09

Maybe buyer message Mumof2Master to ask for cancellation? I thought there was something about Must Accept those requests... maybe ties in with business sellers & distance selling regs?

I will disagree with 19Lottie about this... I don't mind those buyers at all who simply say they changed their mind and communicate well that they want to cancel (before dispatch or payment). I'll happily cancel & tell them this is the right procedure to severe the legal contract so please just accept the cancel request. It's no skin off my teeth as long as they accept the cancel request.

It's buyers who raise unjustified SNAD claims (because they didn't read the listing properly!!) that piss me off & I want to avoid at all costs.

NerrSnerr · 05/05/2018 11:15

I have just cancelled a sale. I've had perfect feedback until now but I've had three people change their minds after buying an item off me recently. eBay won't make them pay so I just have to cancel,

Why not open a non payment case? They can't make them pay but you don't need to be the one penalised for it.

ShiningWhit · 05/05/2018 11:36

I think it's really sad that you feel you need to police the purchase of an item. It is not restricted. Could be purchased from a shop.
Where is the spirit of eBay. Get it to the lad and don't think twice.
As for NPB. Pain in the rump. I do find the NPB assistant helps a lot.
As well as the 'it didn't fit' lot wanting reruns then taking forever. eBay goes through phases 😐

19lottie82 · 05/05/2018 11:40

It's no skin off my teeth as long as they accept the cancel request.

But if they don’t then you’re stuck waiting a week?

I was just pointing out that you don’t have to cancel. If buyer is communicative then yes, just request to cancel, rather than enforcing a non payment case, if you wish.
But if they’re non responsive then it’s a non payment all the time for me, for the reason I explained earlier.

Evangeline3 · 05/05/2018 11:57

Don't understand what he could be using something for "weeing and pooing" for illegally.
I'm also a bit creeped out you searched the seller up and found out where he live, his gender and age. To me that's wah more concerning. Hmm

iklboo · 05/05/2018 12:07

The OP says the buyer has paid so she wouldn't be able to open a non-payment case would she?

19lottie82 · 05/05/2018 13:29

No, she would have to cancel the sale and refund him.

iklboo · 05/05/2018 14:46

Ah, ok thanks. That's good to know in case it ever happens to us.

Original poster
BadSkiingMum · 05/05/2018 15:15

There is nothing wrong with putting someone’s name into google to see what information is publicly available online. It took all of 20 seconds.

I only did so once they had made the request for discreet packaging, which made me wonder why on earth someone buying a practical item for children would need discreet packaging.

The age/size of the item means that this isn’t a ‘new baby arriving’ scenario.

I have great feedback and am have been described as a really fair seller - I am just not keen on selling a children’s item to be used for potentially fetish type purposes.

I will cancel the sale and if ebay want to put a black mark against my name, so be it.

Thanks for the responses.

OP posts:
Evangeline3 · 05/05/2018 16:37

@BadSkiingMum That's even more alarming than asking for discreet packaging imo.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 05/05/2018 16:40

It might be a present for an older sibling who has children.

ILikeMyChickenFried · 05/05/2018 16:42

Thisbis so bizarre. If a buyer asked me for discrete packaging of assume it was a gift for someone in their house and I'd send as requested. I wouldn't Google them!

MummytoCSJH · 05/05/2018 16:56

It's really not your business what it is used for once it's sold, is it?

Tangarine · 05/05/2018 17:04

Maybe he's buying for perfectly innocent reasons.

Maybe he's the only member of the household with an eBay account.

Maybe he's buying whatever it is on behalf of a parent/sibling.

Maybe he doesn't want the postman/delivery driver to know what it is.

NerrSnerr · 05/05/2018 17:30

This is utterly bonkers. Just send it to the lad. He's paid and it doesn't sound like what you think he's going to do with it is illegal, and I bet what he's actually going to do with it is it's intended use for a child he knows or something else entirely.

I still don't understand why if you're so certain what he's going to do why you don't tell us what it is and what sordid thing you think he's going to do with it!

Original poster
BadSkiingMum · 05/05/2018 17:54

Trust me, it is not a gift item. If someone was presented with this as a gift, then would be rather puzzled. There is no conceivable reason why a teenaged boy would need this item, let alone need it 'discreetly'.

Anyway, the sale is now cancelled. I have sent him a message apologising for the cancelled sale. I will find a local parent who might need the item for their pre-school aged child and give it to them. If I am wrong and it is entirely innocent, then his mother/friend/sister or whatever can buy this item easily on any high street.

OP posts:
ILikeMyChickenFried · 05/05/2018 20:23

Such a weird response. Hope he leaves you negative feedback

Evangeline3 · 05/05/2018 20:45

Such a weird response. Hope he leaves you negative feedback

This ^^

Also odd how you can't state what the item is when it's for a child.
All a bit dodgy to me.

BlackBat · 05/05/2018 21:03

If I am wrong and it is entirely innocent, then his mother/friend/sister or whatever can buy this item easily on any high street.

Or maybe he will just buy it again himself.

If he is buying whatever it is for fetishising purposes, there really isn’t anything illegal or immoral about it. After all, many adults buy used underwear off eBay!

Crispbutty · 05/05/2018 22:39

I’m guessing it’s a potty. It could be for any reason but how bizarre to jump to the conclusion it is for some sort of fetish.

Ariela · 05/05/2018 23:39

If it's a potty, daughter uses them to hold up jump poles for grid work for her horse.

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