Support thread 16 for parents and carers of young people with an eating disorder

[Mummyoflittledragon]

The old thread is almost full. I hope no one minds me starting a new one…

Hello,

Thank you for your kind responses. The meeting was positive. My son's ECG was very much improved, and that had been the main point of concern. His weight was just a little down. They are monitoring him weekly and he had another day with no purging, so that was a relief. He also seems a little happier in himself.

@sum12luv good news about the purging and ECG. And feeling happier - I think that's important.
Hopefully with everyday with no purging it will become just a little bit easier for him to continue like that.

@sum12luv
That’s really good news about your ds’s ecg and another day without purging. I hope that the weight loss is temporary and that he’s eating enough to eventually put on some weight.

Not such a great appointment for us today. No weight taken but her arm measurement has gone down. I was half expecting the nurse to then insist on taking weight or asking to come back next week but she didn't so hopefully that means it's not too worrying. I'm trying not to panic.

I haven't spoken to DD about it yet, there's no point trying to talk to her immediately after the appointment. I need to ask her why she thinks she may have lost weight, what she's actually eating in college. I can't make up my mind whether to give her some time to turn this around herself or immediately insist on supervising lunches at college. The only thing she said about that in the appointment was that she'd drop out altogether if we did that. Which is not really a threat to us, I don't care if she goes to college, I just want her better!

Lots to think about.

Hi everyone.

I am glad the sun is still trying to shine, October is a weird month isn’t it?

@Mummyoflittledragon how are you doing? How are you finding not having DD at home?

@Weightlossworried was it the same nurse as last time. Does DD look smaller? Would your DD let you watch them doing it? I’m not sure what I think about arm measurements. I am glad there’s an alternate to weighing but I think blind weighing would still be the best option. Did the nurse tell your DD it has gone down? I know your DD won’t be weighed, but I find the arm measurement can be inaccurate. It’s open to interpretation but weight isn’t. I like that they are doing something, but I was always cautious when they did it to my daughter. I’m not trying to make your day worse, I just remember its like trying to look and see if they’ve lost weight, I needed actual information.

How is your DD in herself? Is she happier? Do you feel like things aren’t progressing? I remember sort of pretending all was ok when I knew it wasn’t. It’s so hard isn’t it as you want calm and normal. I really don’t want to make a bad day worse, I just remember sometimes I needed to do my thinking on the bad days so I thought about evrything if you know what I mean? Xx

Thanks @Pearl97. It was the same nurse and she rechecked it. She did tell us it had gone down but didn't go into specifics. I could just about see myself that it had gone down but not by how much exactly. I would absolutely prefer a weight but I have accepted that they're never going to blind weigh. I imagine they'll want to weigh her at the next appt in 2 weeks. The idea was monthly weigh in with fortnightly arm measurement. She refused the last weigh in though.

DD looks the same to me but she always does! She was small before the eating disorder so it's really difficult to tell by looking.

She has seemed happier in herself, enjoying college, spending time with us. It is so hard to know if things are progressing - she is still very rigid in what she eats at home, same breakfast, same snacks, same desserts but no less than usual. I'd had the sense she was eating better and more variety at college - maybe she was but something has made her pull back from that. She absolutely will not talk to us about how she's doing so we're pretty much in the dark. Very frustrating!

@Weightlossworried
I would do everything I can to keep your dd at college. She’s made such good progress and it would be a shame to take her away from her peer group. Saying she will leave if you monitor her lunch eating is just about running away. And I imagine what she really wants (if she were able to express it) is for you to support her in a way, that isn’t embarrassing to her, and to help her to take care of herself.

My dd was constantly in and out of relapse over the past two years, especially year 13. And was threatening to drop out of school about February time and going to live in Thailand or Paris. I disabused her quickly of the Thailand idea. Not so much Paris and applied for jobs there and was looking at courses for this year. And she was moving out and never coming back, never going to see us or talk to us ever again. So I’d see this as a threat to just be steered around, not really worth arguing about.

What is your dd’s mood like in general? You say she’s happier in herself. And I think that’s also a gauge of where she is, so it is less likely to be deliberate restriction. This weight reduction could be as simple as being more active on a day to day level. Walking around college and so forth. Would she consider blind weighing at home?

As for seeing what she’s having for lunch, I had dh’s credit card app on my phone, so I could see her spends and she ate the same thing most days. If you are able to monitor things, even without her knowledge if needed, I would try to do that. Until dd left home, I monitored everything I could, home and out of the house.

If you can’t quietly monitor things, I think it’s important to try to get openness from your dd. Will she tell you? If she’s doing a lot more steps than before, perhaps she you could explain in order for things to keep going, she needs to add something to her morning or afternoon snack. Or a bar of chocolate / flapjack etc with her lunch if she will eat something like that.

@Pearl97
Thanks for asking. Yes, it’s a weird month. I was cold yesterday despite it being warmer than preceding days. And today it’s very mild.

Dd has been here such a lot that things haven’t really changed as much as they could have. I was already used to her being out a lot and she went on holiday twice without us. And she used to stay a lot with the friend she was morphing. The friend never stayed here, perhaps thinking she was helping by encouraging dd away from us. Now, instead, I have a transformed daughter, who is has found a new bestie, who’s close to her parents and has very secure friendships.

As a result, dd is now actively seeking us out, especially me. She was my shadow when younger. She FaceTimed me earlier and told me all about last night. And that she is looking to come home for a night next week if she can. She talked to me like I was a mate as opposed to her mum, which is fine. She needs to have that kind of relationship with me. And sometimes be her ‘little girl’ again and lean on me for support. So I think she’s very much more working from an ARFID perspective now, and I’m hoping her anorectic behaviours will continue to slowly go.

A couple of dd’s friends came to see me yesterday evening, which was lovely. I wrote about them probably 2 threads back, due to them both developing ED. One I helped to stop binge / restricting relatively easily, despite imo having been mentally ill. For a while, she actively sought me in a mum type role and I put the boundary in when I could, because it would never be my intention to take someone’s child. The other I hadn’t seen for many months. I tried very hard to get her parents to help her and even got dh to take her dad out for a drink last Christmas time. With her, I would have had to ‘take’ her help her. It broke my heart to back off as she was the main friend, who helped to save dd. Her mum was (is?) mentally unwell and her dad said he could only save one and he chose his wife. This friend told me yesterday that she had actually lost more and regained almost 2 stone over the months I didn’t see her, meaning at her worst she had a bmi of about 12.5. The first friend seems to be helping her now. She will have learned a lot with her ED struggles and through me with dd, and I’m going to let her know I’m here if she needs help with anything.

Thanks @Mummyoflittledragon she was on good form last night. My parents were round and she was much chattier and more engaged than she's been in a long time. I haven't had chance for a proper talk with her but she told me she had a session with her form tutor yesterday. They'd had to set goals and hers was to balance college with her mental health. This self awareness and admitting she has an issue to someone outside the home is amazing to me, it feels really promising. Especially as the form tutor was apparently lovely and has pointed her in the direction of some staff members she can talk to and offered lots of support herself. If she finds some adults she can open up to at college I'll be so relieved.

She buys her lunch with our credit card so we can see she's spending money but obviously not what she's buying or if she's eating it! She does seem to lose and gain weight relatively easily which is a double edged sword. It is possible she's lost a bit accidentally rather than through deliberate restriction. It's whether she will be willing and able to do something about that. I'm feeling less full of doom anyway.

It's so lovely to read about your relationship with your daughter. You've been through so much together, it must feel great to get that closeness back. The fact that you've managed to support her friends at the same time is incredible, they're so lucky to have someone like you in their lives. As are we actually on this board!

Thanks @Weightlossworried that’s so lovely. And yes it’s fantastic to feel the closeness coming back. I really appreciate what you have to say as well and am really enjoying hearing about your dd blossoming and seeing you able to start to now support others. I think we are all very lucky to have such a great group of people on here and everyone is really working so hard for their dc.

I am really pleased the doom feeling is much lower atm. Because your dd is so happy, I think it is more likely to be accidental. It is hard to know what she’s eating. And any influences from other kids at college. I don’t or didn’t ask my dd every day what she had. I didn’t really need to ask for a long time as she always had the same thing in year 12. And I always tried to listen to what she didn’t say. Eg soon after she started 6th form, she said she only had one of the 2 sandwiches and no crust in year 11 (once she became really ill, I insisted she needed to eat lunch to be allowed to go). This told me she was now eating it all.

Idk if your dd ever says stuff like this. It’s often what my dd doesn’t say, that gives me the answers. Then when things changed in U6, I tried to ask twice a week, and find ways to weave things into conversation, rather than asking overtly. For example, I could say about dinner tonight and thinking about having enough protein and she could respond that I was being pathetic and she had chicken nuggets at lunch in the school airfryer, then I’d say oh (slight curious tone) and ask if she had chips with that.

I’ve had to learn a whole new way to communicate with her.

That's really good advice, as ever. I know she's mentioned having pasta in college, I can 'check' whether she's already had it because I was thinking of making it for dinner, and things along that line.

I managed a brief chat with her last night. She was moaning that everyone was now going to make a fuss because of the loss so I played it really chill and said that wouldn't happen but we do need to have a think about what to do to stop it. She's already suggested dropping Welsh bacc which is great. It's essentially a 4th a level, dropping it would give her half a day less at college and a heck of a lot less homework.

@Weightlossworried can you make her a packed lunch? The cynic in me wonders if she’s happier as she’s found ways to restrict at college. Hopefully not but the weight loss is a worry.

Can you blind weigh her at home? I know some parents do this. My concern with the arm measurement thing is your dd may also be measuring her arm as this would be so easy to do.

Giving up one of the A levels sounds v sensible.

I totally get what @StressedANmum means by feeling smothered. In our household it just feels constant. DD needs 24/7 reassurance and calming down. Constant questions about food and telling me she feels guilty. And then she gets annoyed if I don’t say what she wants “you I didn’t tell me to eat x” “you must think I’m fat because this is smaller” “I don’t feel forced”
it’s not just at home - when she’s at school or I’m at work she’s still constantly texting me. It’s totally exhausting.

overall things have improved a little. She had big loss last week and was told that if she didn’t turn things around she would be looking at an eating order unit. She found the news very difficult and spent the next few days in an absolute state but by the third day after the appointment I had talked her into restarting olanzapine. Since then she’s eaten a little more and ate properly at her birthday dinner, although was racked with guilt afterwards. Small steps in the right direction.

The ED team are speaking to general cahms about her weekly and she’s got an urgent general psychiatry referral. They want to increase the treatment of her general low mood and low self esteem and decrease focus on food as they think they are more likely to get at the root of the issue that way. They think she can be seen in the next couple of weeks or so let’s hope they are right and this is the correct approach.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies we've asked her if she'd blind weigh at home before and she's always refused.

I don't think she's full on restricting - the happiness we had when she was doing that prior to diagnosis was almost manic/hyper. She's more normal levels of happy if that makes sense. It is likely that she's making lower calorie choices though. She told us she was eating things like ham and cheese toasties at college in the beginning. I imagine she's knocked that on the head - we've seen that at home where she's blamed a particular type of food for a weight restoration and refused to eat it again.

I'm not convinced a packed lunch would get us anywhere as she could just eat half and throw the rest away. We may have to start meeting her for lunch though to supervise what she's eating.

I've never seen a tape measure in her room in my regular sweeps of it but it's possible she has one stashed somewhere sneaky. And of course she'll be hyper aware of her body and any changes anyway.

That sound exhausting @10YellowTulips Are you managing to get any break at all, any time for you? I hope the referral helps her. It feels like the right thing to do to look at the root cause

@10YellowTulips
I totally get the exhaustion from it all. It was this way all of last year with dd. I hope you are managing to take some time for yourself. My dh took dd off 2 or 3 times. Is this at all possible for you? I did need to give him strict instructions and tbh I had to turn her around each time, but it was worth it at the time for the break.

@Weightlossworried
My dd also made the low calorie choices. It’s hard. It’s taken a lot longer for my dd to put weight on. However, doing it without measurements and weighing has meant she hasn’t had any of this type of distress. And I can imagine that’s hard to deal with. I suppose it’s gentle nudging and lots of love and kindness

She did stop eating biscuits for a couple of months February time. Then through guilt wasn’t able to open a packet for several months. Then she just opened a packet up in front of me when we were in France for the funeral and I had to pretend I didn’t see. The way I handled it is to ensure that a packet was always open and at least one missing each time, even when that meant throwing biscuits away. This gives her the cue that she was allowed to eat as dh had had one (I’m gluten free).

I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to get too concerned if she has stopped eating the toasties. These things take time to tease out. Eating it in front of your dd and getting her used to seeing it around. So making yourself ham and cheese toasties, grated cheese freely available at meal times. Individually packaged foods often work well. Like babybel or cheese strings if she’s into rubber cheese and this is why the little packs of belvita often work as well.

My dd’s new party trick is fruit. She had some melon on Thursday and her throat became sore afterwards, a lot of difficulty swallowing. She now thinks it’s an allergic reaction and is now too scared to eat fruit. And she commented grapes cost £3 a punnet. She has a very painful throat and swollen glands, which I’ve been monitoring with her to ensure it isn’t anything nasty. She wont go to the GP due to seizure risk.

She got drunk Wednesday night and I think caught a virus from that. She’s never ill and her immunity will have gone down from the alcohol, especially as she’s eating crap. It appears due to cost she has not been eating fruit anyway (she only eats grapes and sometimes melon). We’ve had idk how many FaceTimes over the past 2 days. And she’s put the phone down to me, got angry, because I said things like she’s going to go down hill if she carries on like this. And yesterday, because I said I’m not coming up to change her bed and hoover her room. I’m not a well woman and I’ve buggered my knee.

I told her yesterday I would collect her and take her washing home, but she’s now on the train going 3 hours up north for the night. She did it all herself in the end. She promised me she won’t go to bed too late tonight. Or get drunk. It’s too far for me to drive these days due to my health if she gets into a bind and dh is in France. She knows I don’t really want her to go because of this. If dh were here, no problem. I think she will be fine. So 🤷‍♀️

@Weightlossworried that's great news that dd is opening up to others at the school - and speaking with you about it. It seems like a big difference between experiencing feelings and reflecting on them and talking about MH. And what a relief for you to have more adults looking out for her. Thank goodness the college's response was a good one and your daughter felt happy. Hopefully her friends are eating good lunches and she can learn from them.

I am feeling hopeful too. When back from uni ill, my dd showed some increased ed behaviour. One day dh was home with her and she didnt eat at all and just took one drink. I cooked her dinner and last minute she said no. I think she was stressed about missing the start of uni. Obviously being ill was stopping her appitite but she was over the worst and had been eating - the sense of doom flooded in for me. I took the next day off work to be with her to lift her mood and help her eat.
On her last night here she wanted pudding but again, like the evenings before, at the last minute she refused it. As a family we had learnt to be very quiet in these situations. Do nothing that might trigger her, especially dont talk about food. But I was just done in that moment with the controling, so I made a couple normal comments about the pudding and happily ate it. And instead of shout etc. she waited a minute and picked up her bowl and ate. It just really made me think about how my emotions effect her and how to move on from doing things to help her eat and protect her from terrible feelings - as was needed previously - to being a bit more normal. But also how things can change from day to day!
Well now back at uni she seems really happy and sent me some reflective messages about eating having seen what her flat mates eat. A first for us. We see her next weekend so I just hope she wont be noticeably thinner.

@Mummyoflittledragon its so lovely to read about how your relationship with your daughter has improved. I was wondering if she is starting to understand what you have done for her a bit better. But then the demand to change her sheets! It's so complex. As my dd was feeling very insecure and we did all what she wanted and she became very demanding, but it was all focused on not upsetting her so she would eat. Well done for standing your ground! In my experience, students generally dont look after themselves but it is worrying when they might be still vulnerable. And I just wanted to say, how nice that you can support her friends. And that they visit you too! Thats just lovely.

@10YellowTulips it is exhasting. And takes over your live. This is the craziness that we are supposed to be the main people helping them. Our fbt therapist said that some parents just cant do it. I actually found that helpful to hear - that people in healthcare did understand how hard it was. Obviously its no practical help but it made me feel better. I found the questions really hard to answer. With the anxiety over portion sizes, I would say its a good portion size. That answer would upset her but maybe it landed somewhere with her eventually.

@Mummyoflittledragon sorry, my thoughts weren't very clear. I think we should start introducing some boundaries, given where the girls are in recovery, but it is hard given where we have come from!

Thanks @Thisnowtoo Sounds good that your daughter is being positively influenced by seeing what her flatmates eat! I hope she manages not to lose weight.

That sounds really frustrating @Mummyoflittledragon Fruit is a pain in our house too, DD will only eat berries or grapes but to get the equivalent to the apples/oranges/Bananas on the meal plan that means large bowl fulls. She does eat the right amount thankfully but it's costing us a fortune! Especially when her brother is home and chomping through it too.

Our talk went as expected. She was immediately on the defensive, started ranting that we wouldn't believe her so what's the point in asking her about what she's eating. She can't wait to move out. Going to CAMHs is stopping her from recovering because she'll never give them the satisfaction of getting better. We've heard all that before. She's agreed to meet us on Fridays for lunch though which only leaves 2 unsupervised lunches a week. I've told her she needs to eat more but she wouldn't engage when I gave her the choice of more at breakfast or to start having her morning snack. I'll push the snack. We'll see how we go. She's adamant that no one can stop her going to college. I've told her that unfortunately that simply isn't true. If she drops under a certain weight it won't be her decision.

@Mummyoflittledragon @Weightlossworried thank you - I don’t get time to myself really - I’m a single mum and Dads relationship with her father is rocky. I get a hit of time in front of the telly when she’s asleep - that’s about it. I go out with friends about once a month but she’s still constantly texting me and often asking me to come home. Sometimes she is cross if I’m back late from work. She used to be very independent but the illness has totally changed her.

Fruit is a funny one here too. She knows the calorie content of everything and only eats certain ones. Recently she freaked because I gave her blueberries instead of raspberries as apparently they are higher calorie. She eats her kiwis with the skin on to get more fibre. One time she had too many and got a weird reaction on her tongue and couldn’t eat cause it was so sore.

@Thisnowtoo
It sounds as if your dd is having a lot of internal struggles around eating, which is coming out when at home. My dd has always been like this. And eats far better with her peers. It sounds as if she is going with the flow at university and it’s really positive that she texted you about food. I would be over the moon if my dd did this. And I am so pleased that things seem brighter for you. It is such a pleasure to hear about our dc blossoming and finding their feet. So I really hope when you see her that she has managed to have enough not to loose.

I totally agree with you on the boundaries front. I am putting some in with dd. Much more than before. It’s hard to do that, but it is working slowly. At the start, there really were none beyond eating, because that was the only important thing. Now, when she is mean or unreasonable, she gets this reflected back with me not doing stuff for her. Eg when she was mithering last week about coming home, I gave her 2 choices, come home as agreed or she can make her own way home and pay. That sort of thing.

I don’t think my dd currently has the foresight to see everything I’m doing for her. Maybe a smidge. That will come. But really, driving for 45 mins and paying for parking and fuel to change her sheets and hoover her room, because she is ill is, well, not my job. She was also upset with me, because one of the mums recently came over and deep cleaned the kitchen for them. And my thoughts are, this is their job, they moved out! And darn right I get her to thank me now. She contacted me earlier to say she feels awful and wants to come home. So she’s rebooked a train directly here and I’m coughing up £34 for that one. I think it’s a GP visit if I can get her to go. I’ll have to take a look at her when I see her.

@Weightlossworried
I am sure that reaction was to be expected from your dd. But you got a good win and compromise with meeting up on Fridays. Dd needs gentle nudging over months for things to change, so you may be in it for the long haul trying to reinstigate morning snack if she’s anything like my dd. Lots of food throwing (packaged croissants and pain au chocolat etc) and anger and shutting me down.

And just to remember to try not to get into an adversarial position with your dd. The ED always wins. I’m talking about the simply not true about college. Best to side step these things and say ‘well this isn’t anything we need to talk about right now, I know you're going to make the right choices for you’. That puts the onus on her. The power is in her hands to whether or not she can go to college. Or better yet, try to completely avoid things in the first place. Less is more. And it’s not worth going back to the argument. I’ve got the t-shirt on all of this stuff btw. But you can’t reason with a terrorist.

@10YellowTulips
That sounds exhausting. I’m glad at least you have a little time with your friends. Can you put any boundaries in at all? For example you have me time from 7-8pm on x days and anything she wants unless the house is burning down, will wait for an hour?

@Weightlossworried and @10YellowTulips As for fruit, I see we have the same problem. Dd does eat strawberries as well from time to time. And not only do all these things cost a lot of money, but dd’s fruit has to be perfect. So the grapes we have in won’t be ok for her. I need to get hard ones. Ditto strawberries and just wow to eating kiwi skin for fibre. My dd has zero clue about nutrition.

You're absolutely right @Mummyoflittledragon that would have been a better approach. I got drawn in to arguing! I've got better at avoiding that but I had obviously hit my limit after ignoring the earlier stuff she said.

That sound so tough @10YellowTulips It must feel relentless.

@Weightlossworried
I hope things have improved after the conversation. I get it, I am also easily drawn in once I’ve reached my limit. With dd having so much demand avoidance, I used to have to be really careful not to back myself into a corner.

As for us, when dd got back on Sunday, I figured it was dental and got her an appointment that evening. Her wisdom tooth pushing. Hopefully it will stop, otherwise it’s definite impaction. She is now on antibiotics. I dropped her back yesterday morning on painkillers etc. Looking back, we had 4 days of demand avoidance, not wanting to face up to needing to see a health professional, due to fear of having a seizure.

She hardly ate from Thursday to Sunday due to the pain. And didn’t eat that well on Monday. She was on the phone and FT to me such a lot during those 4 days, that I realised she wasn’t relapsing. This is real progress, because up till now, she’s only ever been a couple of meals away from relapse. I think it’s clear, she’s put on enough weight over the summer to have enough resilience to withstand a short bout of illness, which is amazing. And I don’t think she has any fear of putting weight on anymore either. So I’m really hoping she will continue to progress. Or at the very least won’t lose.

That is such a positive update @Mummyoflittledragon . Obviously sorry to hear that your DD is struggling with dental issues, but the way she is dealing with it shows such progress, and such a credit to your work and strength that she is able to lean on you in a non combative way now to get through this stage.

@Weightlossworried I hope your DD is having a settled week. She's doing so well settling into college and navigating keeping up her eating around that. Our DD's issues escalated at the start of yr12, in hindsight, it's a tricky transition to deal with anyway, but particularly with mental health fragilities

We also have a lot of fruit eaten here, and never the cheap stuff! DD has never liked bananas, irritatingly, and applies can cause her allergies unless chopped up. My SIL gave her passion fruit the other week and that's become a new thing, which I leapt on as it's more calories than melon (bloomin melon, water masquerading as food!). Grapes were even a fear food here at one point 🙄not she religiously has one every morning

Today is camhs day, and whilst I think the weigh in will be ok the anxiety is high as we've had a few recent losses before restoring last time. DD has stuck to the agreed reduced exercise programme, has upped her snacks - including eggy bread after a run which is a massive step - and is generally in a really positive place. She opened up that the last session was annoying as there was a lot of doom and gloom and 'lecturing' about exercise, but before the weigh in, so when she'd restored that could be wound back a bit. Today starts with FBT then she's on her own. Last time the FBT went on most of the session, which isn't as beneficial as her own time doing proper therapy. So I've agreed to say near the start that we think an early weigh in and more time with her than all of us would be most beneficial.
But as the camhs therapist has been so lovely and supportive I'm fretting that will be seen as criticising, and I'm not good at speaking up anyway. But DD needs this so I'll step up

And in the mean time try do more work than I normally manage on appointment days!

Just catching up with the thread.
@Mummyoflittledragon it does sound like your dd is growing up a bit and yy to holding a boundary. My dd is coming home beginning on Nov for a few days as has a reading week, I suggested she get the train which went down like a lead balloon 🙄
I pointed out that a 4.5 hour round trip two weekends on the trot isn’t fun for me!
I hope your DDs mouth feels better now.

@Weightlossworried I had similar conversations with dd at college, she became v defensive. I found it better to stick to the facts and keep pushing calories into everything. Can you take your dd out to places for lunch/dinner? How about take aways?
I added in stuff like this as a way of pushing dd without being obviously confrontational iyswim.

Fruit was a pain for us to, pre ED my dd was brilliant at eating fruit, loved eating a wide range. Once the ED took hold she stopped eating it all together and once I took over fruit wasn’t high enough calories to go on the meal plan.

She does have fruit now usually with berries breakfast but still not as freely as she did pre ED.

Does anyone watch ‘Cause of Death’ on ch 5, they had a 17 yo boy on there who died after restricting food and fluids to lose weight for a boxing match. It was a sobering reminder of the dangers of restricting food and fluid. He had an underlying heart condition which didn’t help and no one was aware of but the restrictions he put on his fluid and food intake tipped him over the edge 😢

Heartbreaking.

That all sounds so positive @Mummyoflittledragon although I'm sorry to hear she's in pain. Dental pain is the last thing our kids need! Hope it's better really soon.

@LurkyLurkyLou I find it so hard to speak up in CAMHs appointments as well, but if she's lovely that means she's probably good at listening to what you and your DD need and will take it constructively. I'm glad your DD is in such a positive space, long may it continue!

@Girliefriendlikespuppies I'd suggested we take her out, she has a long gap on a Friday for lunch so we're going to meet her then and have a drive or mooch round the shops combined with lunch so it feels less like supervision. No doubt it'll cost us a fortune! Lunch tends to go well eating out but dinner doesn't, I can sneak in lots of extra calories with a home cooked meal but eating out she'll always try and choose the lowest calorie option.

I haven't watched that programme but I was woefully ignorant about the dangers of not eating enough until we found ourselves here. The blinkers are well and truly off now but I do think the focus on obesity that there is at the moment should be tempered with some focus on the opposite issue.