Support thread 15 for parents of young people with an eating disorder

[Mummyoflittledragon]

New thread. The old one is full…

Agreed. We were told after being discharged that 48 hours "hunger strike" (200 cals per less) means a trip to A&E or 24 hours if no fluids either.

Also the NG tube can be a good thing if it gets them re fed. It's surprising what a difference in their calorie intake does to their mood.

If she’s only eating 100 calories a day I’d take her to a&e and refuse to take her home.

It’s a life threatening level of food restriction and teens compensate physically until they can’t anymore….

@Mummyoflittledragon I’m having similar conversations with my dd, I think she’s in complete denial about going to uni tbh.

I’ve decided to back off for now, I’m wondering if it will be possible for me to do an online food shop for her once a week when she’s in halls 🤔 She won’t have a car so doing a biggish shop will be hard anyway.

I totally agree with @Girliefriendlikespuppies any medical professional sending her home on the equivalent of. Packet of crisps a day is crazy. Their hersr rate etc can be fine one minute. It’s not fair on you @10YellowTulips to be responsible for someone so poorly. Is she not underweight so they won’t help? I would still take her even though you have even before, as you don’t know her obs are still ok and you should follow the guidelines

No she is underweight I think she’s around 85% wfh.
I think they are struggling for capacity on the ward which is maybe why they haven’t admitted her previously - as I said Ed team know how little she eats. However I’d be surprised if they don’t start making a plan to do it on Wednesday - if they don’t I will take her a&e and refuse to leave as suggested

@Girliefriendlikespuppies
My dd won’t have her car either. I can see why you are able to back off Girlie. Your dd can go away alone and feed herself. Mine cannot do this and wouldn’t accept any sort of help like this. Ergo I don’t feel as though I can back off. I can see her reaction ‘that’s weird’, ‘no one else’s parents do that, ‘you’re so controlling’ etc.

As for online shops, I have googled already. It seems like it is a possibility, however, your dd would need to be there to receive the food. And be able to easily take the food. The best for this would be a supermarket, which delivers with bags, such as Ocado. And she can return them for recycling.

Idk what my dd would do. Maybe get an Uber or something. It’s so hard.

I have a 15 year old son who is on a waiting list with camhs for potential eating disorder. He is also hitting his jaw and face due to thinking it will help its shape. He has delayed puberty which may or not be relevant.
He has restrict his food so much over the last few months and he is now underweight but believes he is fat. I’m really worried about him.
He’s been referred to camhs for potential ocd and body dysmorphia but there is a huge waiting list and I don’t know what to do in the mean time
mhad

he has bruises all over his face today due to bone smashing and said he will not stop because I don’t understand. He’s also eaten nothing not strawberries.

I just wondered if there was anyone with experience of this that could relate or advise.

@Blueberry2026
I am so sorry to read about your ds. This sounds very scary for both of you. Your ds sounds very mentally unwell. To be seen earlier, I would have thought he could have been offered an urgent referral to the ED clinic if eating so little.

From what you say, I presume your ds ate less than 500 calories yesterday. What about previous days. As we have been discussing wjfh 10YellowTulips, eating fewer than 500 calories in a day is a medical emergency. Doing this in 2 consecutive days triggers that.

As for hitting himself, this is a form of self harm. Some parents on here have experience of this alongside the ED. I don’t personally. But I really would consider taking him to hospital and see what they say. He sounds very poorly. Poor lad.

@10YellowTulips
I don’t understand why they haven’t admitted your dd to a general children’s ward. Knowing everything I know now about eating disorders, I would still go to A&E personally. They shouldn’t be expecting you to cope like this due to having no beds in ED.

@Blueberry2026 I second what @Mummyoflittledragon says, your son sounds very ill. Has he been referred to the eating disorder service? Has the GP checked his bloods, done an ecg, checked his physical observations?

I would physically restrain him from hitting his face, who else is at home with you? If he’s eating less than 500 calories a day go to A&e.

@Blueberry2026 I'm so sorry you're joining us here. Your son sounds very unwell. @Mummyoflittledragon is right about him needing a & e if he's eating less than 500 calories a day. If he's managing more than that it still sounds like he really can't wait to be seen . You shouldn't have to do this but I would keep calling them, tell them that he's worsening, specifically focus on how little he's eating and his weight being very low.

My DD self harms and I've found CAMHs to be pretty nonchalant about it. It's so incredibly upsetting for us as parents though isn't it? I try and spend as much time with her and keep her busy if she'll allow me, if she's refusing to leave her room then I'm in and out all the time to try and make sure she's safe.

I'm so sorry that you're not getting the help you so clearly need though. Same for you @10YellowTulips You should both be getting far more urgent help and support.

@Mummyoflittledragon my dd still needs a lot of support at home, I still do 99% of the food shopping and cooking, she still needs prompting to eat enough. She managed in Australia by copying the other girls on the trip. Today for example she’s gone off to work with a pre-made breakfast and lunch I made her last night, she just wouldn’t do it herself.

By back off I mean I’ll wait until nearer the time to have these conversations with her again, currently she just doesn’t engage in them at all. I did mention doing an online shop for her and she didn’t say no so I’ll take that as a yes 😉 I’ve not used Ocado before but I’ll look into it, thanks.