Support thread 11 for parents of young people with an eating disorder

[GrannyRoberts]

Hi all, here is our new thread. I will attempt to post a link on thread 10.

Pls help

We are trying the sit there until it's gone method and todays been the worst day

It's been 4 HOURS since we served dinner and she's still starting at jt

It's so painful and I do not know what else to do........I know I can't give in but I cannot bear this feeling 😩😪

Oh summer, goodness it's so hard, feeling for your

Have you ever seen the Eva musby chapter on how to keep going? She suggests things like - "come on and take a bite. We are here for you and we know how hard this is".

What has she said so far?

@summertimesadness24 are you sitting with her encouraging her? Reminding her she wants to get back to normal activities and this is tough but take a bite, you can do it. The refeeding stage is so slow and painful, we are still here (110%wfh now) I promise it does get easier. Sorry I can't remember how old your dd is?

Yes I'm doing all of it, watched Eva musby videos. The 45 min just wasn't working so we are day 5 of this no timer - her longest has been 2 hours but tonight it's the longest

We've come to a&e as she's not feeling well
Feeling faint and shortness of breath

She told me in the car she will not be eating anything anymore

She's 12

Yes I've tried this - I thought it was working but now she's decided she just won't eat at all from now on
She hasn't drank or eaten today
Only breakfast, a 200ml juice and one attempt of a snack this afternoon
No lunch and no dinner and no evening snack
I've asked if she's gone for a wee and she's said not really.....

You've done the right thing and a&e will check her over. They may keep her in, that was enough of a shock to get us going and thankfully keep us out of there.
Everything stops if she doesn't eat, no school, no social life etc. stand your ground right now you aren't dealing with your daughter it's the ed annoyed that you've caught on and trying to keep control.

Her obs were fine so just waiting to see the DR
Not that I want to stay in at all but I'm worried as she's telling me she will not eat now 😩😪
We've been here once before but she wasn't saying she will no longer eat

It might be that now the ED has been seen by the professionals it no longer has to hide so she will go into complete lockdown food wise.

I'd personally insist she's admitted as she's not safe to go home if she's refusing to eat anything.

That's a really good point - she's already told me she's going to refuse breakfast and will no longer eat !
I feel terrible insisting but I also will have this problem tomorrow and I do feel she should be admitted but I just don't know what they will say......

Oh @summertimesadness24 sorry it's been such a hard day. Sounds like you've tried all the right things. I agree with @Girliefriendlikespuppies - I think once the ed knows it can't fool you any more it can just come out fighting - that's what happened with us too, it all got a lot worse quite quickly. You've done the right thing going to a&e, hope things are going ok x

Thanks all, she's had ecg and possibly bloods and we are in a bay and nurse is trying to get her to drink but she is refusing....she is taking it by syringe but only because she has to
She is telling me when she gets home it won't help and she just ' can't ' the nurse is coming back every 15 mins and getting her to syringe 30ml. She's concerned about how little she has drunk and the colour of her face - not just pale but grey colour x

@summertimesadness24 just to say that I am thinking of you and praying that your DD gets the help she needs to start on the road to recovery. Sometimes, it’s just not possible for us to do it at home and that’s ok too. X

summertimesadness24 I really hope your dd has been admitted as you can't safely look after her at home if she's completely refusing to eat. Sending a massive hug to you xx

Thinking of you @summertimesadness24

@summertimesadness24 hope you're holding up.

@summertimesadness24 this sounds so tough. Hope you get a clear plan supporting your DD swiftly.

Sending love, @summertimesadness24 .

Thinking of you summertime, sending love.

I hope they kept her in. A stay in hospital was definitely the turning point for my dd

Thanks all so she was sent home at 230
Bloods came back ok
Ecg normal
They put an iv drip with fluids in until she had a wee and it's been a batting calories in her today but she has eaten and drunk

What happens when they do admit ?

Has she eaten since home? At the slightest refusal I'd be back to hospital.
When dd was admitted they gave her a very specific meal plan for refeeding. A nurse sat with her for every meal and snack and she wasn't allowed to go to the toilet for at least an hour after meals.

She had obs very frequently and bloods were twice daily at first if I remember correctly.

Yes she has eaten everything I've given her
All with a struggle but to be fair today has been the best eaten day
Nothing has been refused but the drinking has been bad - we've probably got a litre in for the whole day but it's a litre more than yesterday

I've told her as soon as she doesn't eat or drink we are back to a&e

@summertimesadness24 I hope you're bearing up OK, this is an incredibly gruelling time. I am not sure our experience of admission to a paediatric ward would be typical as DD was only admitted for medical stabilisation before being transferred to a psych ward, but I think 4 hourly obs, very regular bloods (daily or twice daily initially) a meal plan, possibly meal support from CAMHS depending on the situation might be the sort of thing you'd expect. Bed rest usually if WFH is low. Has DD managed to eat since being home? If not I'd say go straight back, it does sound as though she's too deep into this to be at home x