Teen Eating Disorders - Thread 5

[myrtleWilson]

Welcome everyone,
Our last thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/eating_disorders/4279530-Teen-Eating-Disorders-Thread-4?watched=1&msgid=111172926#111172926

That we're on thread 5 in about a year is a reflection of the incredible increase in mental health issues, including eating disorders amongst young people over the last couple of years.

With that in mind, we thought we'd try to include some resources that have helped us along the way to date. No one resource will be a panacea but hopefully this list will be a useful starting off point for any newcomers and a reflection for others. It is our first go at sharing a list of resources on a thread so it won't be perfect!

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk

anorexiafamily.com/?v=79cba1185463

www.youtube.com/evamusby

www.youtube.com/channel/UCa7G1P5WQopVMc9qTSP_lgA

www.orri-uk.com

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/eating-disorders/overview/

www.stgeorges.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Junior-MARSIPAN-Risk-Assessment-Framework.pdf

People to look up on social media
Hope Virgo
Ro-Recovering
James Downs
Cara Lisette
Adam Fare
BarefootRebel
Ilona Burton

Girlie hope Covid is not too bad for your DD

Betty - great news on a gain!

dark how are you doing?

You're right @Girliefriendlikespuppies. It's horrendous.

DD1 lasted 4 hours at school yesterday, first day back. Sent home feeling sick and didn't go in today. No lunch yesterday, barely anything for dinner, no breakfast today and a banana for lunch. Sleeping lots again.

Yep @Girliefriendlikespuppies I'm with you - 2 years for dd too - the abrupt end to GCSEs and start of lockdown

Hi, I hope you don’t mind me joining. I’m looking for advice as I’m concerned that DD may be developing an ED. I suffered as a teen so know the signs but this may be clouding my judgement.
DD’s self worth has always been linked to her academic progress (not pushed by us). She has struggled following school closures and has been particularly negative recently as her grades dipped in her most recent report. She has also become increasingly self conscious about her weight.
She lost weight prior to Christmas when she was hospitalised with a UTI and since then has been restricting food as she’s either not hungry or it makes her feel sick. It got to the point a couple of days ago where she skipped dinner, had a very small breakfast then skipped lunch again so we made contact with the school and an ED charity for support. That evening she came home very happy after gaining a good grade in maths and since then has been eating normally.
Has anyone else experienced this in the early days? My next step was to contact the GP but I don’t want to waste their time if I’m over thinking things. Equally I don’t want to ignore a developing issue as I know how difficult it is to overcome it once it takes hold. Any advice would be really appreciated.

Hi lemon I'd say keep an eye on her for now and not panic yet. Make sure there's plenty of food in she likes and gently encourage meals and snacks.

With my dd the red flags were; stopped eating breakfast completely, stopped drinking anything other than water (previously loved juice, smoothies, hot choc, tea etc) increased exercise levels which quickly became obsessive, refused 'unhealthy' foods that she had previously loved (sweets, chocolate, cake etc) and also I became aware that she was weighing herself a lot 😕

@Girliefriendlikespuppies your dd could be my dd!

Thanks, we’re trying not to panic yet but are worried as she’s already underweight. She does weigh herself more now and misses lunch at school but not every day. As you suggest we’ll keep monitoring her for now and encouraging food that she likes.

Can you throw the scales out lemon? Or hide them? I have huge regret that I didn't do that sooner. The not eating lunch at school is a worry as is the already low weight. Do you know her weight and height? It might be useful to get a weight for height so you know roughly where you are now (incase things do deteriorate.) The most important thing is that she doesn't loose any more weight, it's the weight loss that triggers anorexia (not the other way round.)

NC it sometimes feels like our kids have a secret handbook on EDs they all have as they're all quite similar!!

I think hiding the scales is a good idea. She dropped to 40kg but says she’s now back to 43kg, 158cm so not too low atm (if she’s being truthful) but as you say I don’t want her to lose more.

@Lemondrizzzzle I could have written your post, almost word for word 3 months ago. Believe me you don't want to be where we are now. Get your dd to the GP this week and don't leave until you have a referral.

Those of you whose dd's are on fluoxetine, how long was it until you saw signs of improvement in mood? We finally got to see a psychiatrist who has written to the GP giving the go ahead for a prescription tomorrow , in the meantime dd is absolutely distraught. She is overwhelmed with guilt, not only after eating, but the ED voice won't let her watch tv, read, go on her phone, anything that would provide distraction is forbidden now. She says life is unbearable now, we had to go to A&E to get to see a Psychiatrist, it was so traumatic for her.

The psychiatrist said it would be 2 weeks before it kicked in, she is fixated on this now, how she will survive another 2 weeks like this. I'm hoping that it will be 2 week until the full effect but we might see some improvement sooner than that.

@LizzieDarling hi there. My Dd is almost three weeks into taking 10mg of Fluoxetine. We saw small differences after about a week. Literally!! She is now so much less anxious than she was. She seems like her old self again. We are due to increase the dose to 20mg soon (need to find out when). She is still reluctant to try fear foods but some of the old rules she had are much easier to negotiate now. She reads again, she sings, she is so much brighter. I can give her bigger portions without so much of a fight.
She’s had no side effects whatsoever.

@LizzieDarling thanks for the advice, I’ll call tomorrow. She’s avoiding food again today as she has stomach pains and nausea. She could well be genuinely unwell but these stomach issues are becoming common so either way she needs checking out.

@Bettybarkalot123 thank you so much, I just read your message to dd, I really appreciate your reply. She desperately wants her old life back, she is just shell of herself now.

@Lemondrizzzzle dd often refused food because she was feeling nauseous, it was another way of restricting. Often I think the nausea was caused by the stress and anxiety around eating. I honestly think if you can get some therapy for your daughter now and the input of a dietician you could avoid a lot of heartache. Gps can be very hit and miss, even if yours doesn't take it seriously, be pushy and insist on a referral to specialists.

I wish I had been more insistent earlier, but I was in denial I think. Dd had been seeing a counsellor for school related anxiety (90% in exams was never good enough) since September, I thought that would be enough and we could work on the diet ourselves, but in my experience you need someone outside the family to work with them. The dietician we see now is basically following the plan I came up with, in terms of what dd will be capable of eating, but the fact that the dietician is saying it carries much more weight than if it ws coming from me. DD approaches the plan as "the dietician told me to do this, so I have to do it", and she does. We wouldn't have that level of compliance if it was me telling her what to eat.

Hello everyone,

@Lemondrizzzzle - do get the stomach pains checked out. DD had similar and it transpires she has a majorly messed up digestive system which is is now in treatment for but I am a little worried that permanent irreversible damage has been done.

@LizzieDarling DD saw a reaction in about a week I think after going on flux. I hope your DD gets a good response from it - if it works it can just give them some breathing space some of the time.

Am posting a hopeful post (although I've been here before so am not completely naive..) DD seems to have turned a corner - she is talking very differently about bodies and now sees positivity in strong, fit bodies rather than "skinny" - a body in the grip of anorexia. She's started doing some supervised muscle building exercise (rather than hard cardio) and it is teaching her something about her body - having to stop and rest rather than going all in 500%. Plus she's acknowledged that to have a healthy, strong body she needs to eat protein, carbs, dairy so she's pretty much ditched her obsession with vegetarian substitutes and is eating chicken, bread, eggs etc.

Obviously I'm cautious because we've had an attempt at recovery that wasn't sustainable and am doubly cautious that she doesn't become compulsive but her mindset has definitely changed and she has much more energy, is able to engage cognitively in school work/political discussions (she's doing politics a-level). So a fingers crossed, wish upon every star post from me that this is a path out of her illness. It won't be a linear path but hopefully when there are forks in the road she'll have more inclination and evidence about which direction is the best one for her...

@myrtleWilson thanks so will do. I really hope that this is the route to recovery for your DD, it’s such a horrible illness.

I am so pleased to hear that @myrtleWilson, you've been so helpful on here that I would love for karma to repay you with a recovered child. I recognise all your finger-crossing and not wanting to jinx it but I do think as parents we are able to recognise positive signs in their thoughts when they come.

But as you say not linear. I feel too that we're inching to a better mentality. We were out at friends and she had a fat wedge of key lime pie (in lieu of bedtime snack). It feels so much more normal and sustainable to me. She too says that she wants to eat more freely - of course it could be a sneaky way to restrict but I just see the light of logic in her eyes after the gloom of utter irrationality.

@Lemondrizzzzle and @LizzieDarling - sorry that you find yourself here. Lemon I totally would hide the scales. I can't believe it took us so long to do so, idiots that we were. I also knew for about three months that something was wrong before actually doing something. I rung the GP but allowed myself to get fobbed off. I would intervene as much as you're able if you have any concerns. Also don't believe her if she says what weight she is, we discovered that DD had lied. If I 'd known the truth, the GP would have responded differently.

BTW I only found out much, much later that DD had been using MyFitnessPal to track calories and her weight. I think it's worth taking a look at your DD's phone to see. It was useful as it gave me all a log of her weight over the months. Of course we deleted once I'd got that info.

I found a stash of spat out vitamin tablets under dds bed last night.

Ffs.

When I confronted her she just shrugged and said 'my bad' 😡

It's so frustrating, what on Earth rationale is there for spitting out a vitamin tablet?!!

I did a bit more searching and found some needles I think she was using to self harm so confiscated them. I hate the distrust this illness creates.

Yay for dd eating the pie valley that's great.

That all sounds very positive Myrtle.

Oh god that's so annoying girlie. I'm a very logical person and I find the illogicality of their thinking infuriating.

And sorry about the self harm.

Hi can I join?
I'm so glad I found this thread.
My dd is 14, I've recently discovered she's been making herself sick after meals, is self harming again and recently has had suicidal thoughts.
She is terrified of putting on weight and eats next to nothing. The GP is aware of the eating and we have an appointment this morning about the suicidal thoughts.
My older daughter is already with camhs due to low mood/suicidal thoughts and I can't believe I'm going through it again with my younger dd.

Hi peanut welcome (although this is the thread that no one really wants to be on!!)

I'm sorry to hear about your dd, get the GP to check all her physical obs and ask for a referral to the ED team. When you say she eats next to nothing how much is she actually eating? Less than 500 cals a day is an a&e trip. Is her weight low?

We're plodding along again, dds mood is so much better now she's back at school, she is laughing and smiling again, telling me funny stories about stuff that happened at school. She finished her pudding last night - the bowl was left empty. This is note worthy as it's the first time in a good 20 months that she actually finished something!!!

She still mucks about with breakfast though and I'm very suspicious about the pristine lunchbox she brings home every day. I've told her to leave what she doesn't eat in there so I can see what's been eaten...

Thanks for the advice about Fluoxetine @myrtleWilson. After a lot of miscommunication between the A&E and the GP we finally got her prescription. Dh had given her the first dose before I looked at the box and realised it is Sertraline that she's been given. Researching that caused me a total freak out, it seems much harder to adjust to, takes longer to work, etc. I've asked for a call back from the GP, but spoke to her psych nurse who said they probably changed the script as Fluxotine needs more careful monitoring and Sertraline is easier to use in an out patient setting.

Dd is exhausted, on the most basic meal plan so gaining weight seems like a distant dream at this point. My wish for the day is that we can get through it without too many violent outbursts from her. She is covered in bruises from punching herself and bashing herself off the walls. We had to remove the locks from the bathroom doors to stop her from locking herself in and hurting herself.

Sometimes it's hard to take in how her life has changed so much in a few months. I can't see her getting near school before Easter at this stage, maybe that's even being optimistic.

Thank you to all the regular posters on these threads, it is comforting to know you have gone before us and come out the other side. Solidarity and hand holding to those who are still in the thick of it

Lizzie my DD is on Sertraline, started with 50mg, went up to 75 and I think we'll gradually go back to 50. I think it's been helpful but it's hard to know what it is that makes the difference. We certainly haven't found any medication to be transformative. Inspired by Queens Gambit, she recently started hiding it for a few days and we didn't notice any difference with that either. She was also on risperidone which we've now dropped without much logic or encouragement from the psychiatrist.

Someone on a previous thread said that sertraline was well known for causing nausea and weight loss. We certainly didn't find that at all.

Others have found Olanzapine to be a game changer but it was absolutely terrible for DD. It turned her into a humourless zombie.

I do remember the absolute crashing guilt that DD used to feel after eating and how upset it made her. We don't really have any of that anymore.

Hello @LizzieDarling , my DD was put on setraline from June and it was a total game changer. She's on 150 though so a pretty big dose (she's an older teen). They increased by 25 mg a week. We had a similar experience to @Valleyofthedollymix with olanzapine. I lost DD completely on that. We stopped olanzapine about a month after setraline started working. There was an initial 1.5 kg loss with setraline which at the time felt awful!! But then bounced back and more within the next month 5 kg!!
It's so daunting at this stage. Such a leap of faith. But setraline does seem to be well tolerated in teens.

DD1 is on fluoxetine. Just increased to 30 mg per day.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies thank you. Currently sat in a&e