Teen Eating Disorders - Thread 5

[myrtleWilson]

Welcome everyone,
Our last thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/eating_disorders/4279530-Teen-Eating-Disorders-Thread-4?watched=1&msgid=111172926#111172926

That we're on thread 5 in about a year is a reflection of the incredible increase in mental health issues, including eating disorders amongst young people over the last couple of years.

With that in mind, we thought we'd try to include some resources that have helped us along the way to date. No one resource will be a panacea but hopefully this list will be a useful starting off point for any newcomers and a reflection for others. It is our first go at sharing a list of resources on a thread so it won't be perfect!

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk

anorexiafamily.com/?v=79cba1185463

www.youtube.com/evamusby

www.youtube.com/channel/UCa7G1P5WQopVMc9qTSP_lgA

www.orri-uk.com

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/eating-disorders/overview/

www.stgeorges.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Junior-MARSIPAN-Risk-Assessment-Framework.pdf

People to look up on social media
Hope Virgo
Ro-Recovering
James Downs
Cara Lisette
Adam Fare
BarefootRebel
Ilona Burton

Girlie hope Covid is not too bad for your DD

Betty - great news on a gain!

dark how are you doing?

@vagor and @SnitchyBitchI am so sorry to hear things are so tough for you both at the moment, that is so grim. It's inexplicable what this disease does to them.

Not having a good day here. Yesterday we went to London shopping, it's been what has been motivating DD for ages.

Today she is so low, in tears, saying she looks fat and ugly, she keeps looking at her belly and grabbing rolls and saying she looked better in hospital (errr no). She looks bloody fantastic IMHO, and looks to be the perfect weight but her brain is still not in a good place.

We desperately need to get her some psychological help, and there is a long wait list for this. She's pushing back, as you would expect. "I've lost my thigh gap, my legs are huge..." etc etc.

As for me, I've got the extreme hunger that they say comes to anorexics - i lost so much weight from stress that I had only one pair of jeans that fitted. They are now feeling distinctly tight yet I can't stop stuffing myself! I just want to bottle that and get DD to breathe it in.

@DarkBlueEyes me too! I have put on so much weight with everything in the house being high calorie.
We paid privately for some psychologist sessions for dd because we couldn't wait for the nhs. She has just started nhs cbt which appears to be going well but her admission to hospital was in may and she's only just got to the top of the waiting list.

Dark dd still says she looked amazing at the height of the illness, it just baffles me as she looked terrible!! Her skin was grey, hair falling out etc. I often find after doing something dd was looking forward to there's a down day or two afterwards.

We've had a bit of a ropey day as well tbh, lunch was crap she left half of it which caused an argument 🙄 then left half her pudding tonight as well 😩

Ffs.

Snap, DD always saying how amazing she looked on holiday this year. She didn't. You could see every bone in her spine even when standing straight, it made me want to weep.

We knew the holidays would be hard but she's surprised us by more or less following the meal plan. However, she's been sobbing all day today, saying she hates herself, wants to die, she was so much happier underweight, she's still not got her freedom, kill her now. It's obviously devastating to hear but I also wonder if there's just common or garden teenage angst in there as well. So hard to distinguish.

We’ve still not even been able to get the fluoxetine.. the prescription didn’t get sent to the pharmacy until Saturday. Husband drove half an hour to the pharmacy, waited an hour in queue, only to be told they couldn’t find it. They can see it’s there and I called first thing to check but they’re short staffed and it’s lost.

The doctor we saw only uses paper prescriptions so they don’t even have it electronically.
I can’t get through to the pharmacy to see if they’ve found it.

Husband says I’m being unreasonable for feeling angry - he’s says they have staff off due to covid and that’s why the place is in chaos. I know there are bigger problems and I do feel bad for feeling like this but I could cry. I’m dreading Christmas. DD seems to manage to be pleasant to everyone but me. I just feel so sad. I know I shouldn’t but I do.

Oh god Betty what a mess, how annoying for you. I never seem to have got a prescription for DD without huge amounts of aggravation and time wasted.

Really hope you do manage to get it before Christmas and your day is OK. Not the best holiday for anorexics really.

Thanks @Valleyofthedollymix - we’ve just got it. Will start tomorrow. I’m dreading it. Her and her brother have a terrible relationship mostly and they’re shouting and arguing today. He doesn’t understand how sick she is.

Hi betty am so glad you've got it now - from memory it took a few days/maybe a week to see a difference in DD - but onwards!

So on our new 'free-ish' plan, DD has been doing really well. Today is a challenge more for us I think as she's not had any snacks so we're relying on her to know that the ED will see this as an opportunity but she needs to take control if she's hungry. It is a bit jarring but to be honest - but she's almost 19 so we have to try to create the structure to support her to make the right decisions, rather than make them ourselves....

Just had the latest health check and dd has put on 33% of her body weight since being admitted to hospital 7 months ago

Wow @NCTDN that is fantastic!

DD has somehow managed to lose weight this week, I am utterly gutted. I can't help but think that last week's weight could have been wrong.... She's now 48.3 and was 49.1 last week.

Really struggling mentally. I took away a pair of trousers she wants back as they were looking tight on her several weeks ago. She's getting really arsey about wanting them back but I don't want to give them to her as she'll try them on and upset herself. Though SHE says she'll give to a friend. I don't believe that for a second. She's the skinniest of all her friends but she can't see it.

Then I had the youth worker advising me to negotiate her dinner with her on Christmas Day. Errr I don't think so. I explained about FBT and referred her to Eva Musby's book.

I just want her to get well. Apparently she didn't agree to recovery and is now being force fed. FFS!

Hi everyone, sorry to hear that there are still huge struggles. Christmas is so food orientated, too.

DD3 has finally decided not to be pescatarian, so that's a relief. She's still talking very much of 'good food' and 'bad food' though. One to watch, I think.

DD1 is doing ok. Still up and down with food but stable. I got her PIP forms through last week, so I need to work on those.

Hey @SnitchyBitch my DD is being referred to a tier 4 unit tomorrow. She has been prescribed antibiotics depressants in the mean time to try and lift her depression. They are undecided as to whether or not she needs a Camhs bed or and ED bed as she is not responding the usual ED negotiation techniques and they believe she is severely depressed and suicidal.
What are thevtier 4 units like? How is your DD doing in there? She's escalated so quickly my head's in a spin and I guess she could be in the unit for a while.
This has to be the worst Christmas ever. I feel so sorry for my youngest DD as well who is missing her sister so much. Just can't believe this is happening to my poor DD.
How does everyone cope with this because I can't concentrate on work, my eating is all over the place and my already rocky marriage is about to fall completely apart 😩😩👍

Oh @vagor sorry to hear this. But in the long run it will be a good thing as she will eventually respond to the help.
The illness actually made dd and I closer but my marriage really suffered. We constantly fought over how we thought was the right approach. Poor ds was stuck in the middle too and his relationship with his sister isn't great He's tried to understand but can't really grasp it all and she's truly horrible to him a lot of the time as a defence mechanism.

Dark that's the sort of thing my dd says about being force fed and forced to recover against her wishes 🙄 yeah I'm so unreasonable to not let her starve herself to death and I'm such an awful mother to want her to be healthy 🙄🙄🙄🙄

I'm gearing up for Christmas, had a good ish couple of days so hoping it won't be too bad 😬

Sending you all happy Christmas wishes, let's all pray for a good 2022!!

@vagor I’m sorry to hear that your daughter is so poorly. From what I’ve read though, for so many it really is the start of recovery and I hope that’s the case for your daughter too. In terms of coping, what helped me was to just focus on the day ahead, don’t look to the future, just take it day by day. Get plenty of rest (as much as you can) and remember that it’s vital you take care of yourself.. like that saying where in a plane crash you put your own oxygen mask on so you can help others.

We’re having a bit of a shit time so far. Eldest daughter came back from uni on Saturday and on Tuesday she tested positive for covid. Now DD2 (with anorexia) has tested positive too. She’s was very very poorly last night, shivering and freezing cold, headache and feels sick. She woke me at 4 to ask for more paracetamol and she said her whole body aches. My 4 am mind started running wild, thinking her white blood cells must be low, that’s why she seems worse than her elder sister… etc etc! Trying not to freak out but if I’m honest I’m terrified of whether she’ll even be able to eat today. I guess right now fluids are the most important thing. She had her jab back in October, but not her booster yet. So far me, husband and son are all negative. She’s isolating in her room and we’re taking meals/snacks to her.

Don’t know what we’ll do tomorrow but I can’t let her stay in her room on Christmas Day.

@vagor I’ll PM you my email address as I don’t always have loads of time to come on here.

I’ve been really crying today already in the early hours, just feels so wrong to have Christmas without DD here.

Much love to you all and hope for better things next year.

@vagor and @SnitchyBitch take some refuge in knowing that they are better where they are at the minute. I know it won't seem like it at the moment but things would be even tougher if they were at home.
I really hope that 2022 brings lots of new hope for you xxx

@Bettybarkalot123 if none of the rest of the house are vulnerable, if I were you I'd let her mix. Not medically sound advice I know, but for me DDs mental health would deteriorate far too quickly if stuck in her room. I hope she feels better today.

@NCTDN she woke at about 10 and said she felt a lot better, she ate breakfast and seemed bright.

I think you’re right, she will join in with us tomorrow now she’s feeling better. Her sisters LF tests are coming back negative already after five days. So fingers crossed she’ll be the same.
@SnitchyBitch I can’t imagine how hard it is for you all - you’re in my thoughts. Life seems so hard for so many at the moment.

I’d just like to say a massive “thank you” to everyone here… thanks for being there through these dark days. I hope everyone has chance to rest and that Christmas is the best that it can be.

Sending Christmas wishes to you all. I hope the next few days are peaceful.

Christmas wishes to you all - thinking especially of @vagor and @SnitchyBitch. I hope I can give you some hope...

Last Christmas was miserable, DD should have been in hospital but we negotiated home care instead, we had CAMHS calling us every day and bloods every other day...

Today, Dd was clearly anxious and we had some ED behaviour in the days running up but she totally aced today - she navigated some 'buffet food' around midday and has just finished a full plate of Christmas dinner - and said how much she enjoyed it

I know the anorexia will be furious with her tomorrow but today we take as a win. Whatever happens tomorrow can't take back what she managed today..

I share this not as a "yay us!" but in solidarity that hopefully for us all we can find a way out of this nightmare.

Hi everyone , I’ve never seen this thread before and don’t post much on MN these days .
I read some of this thread however and it moved me to tears .
My dd was your child four years back . In and out of hospital , feeding tubes , endless rounds of progress then regression , tablets , doctors , hope then despair, fear and emptiness.
Now she is cured .
I want to hold all your hands , look you in the eye and tell you all that you’re bloody fantastic . You’re strong and brave and your kids will get through and past this - they will .
Keep looking after yourselves as it’s so very important , keep advocating g for your child as you truly know what will help and what will hinder and move forward. Bit by bit , day by day …….
Hope to see you all on the other side one day
Much love , warriors xxxxx

@lisalisa thank you....I needed to read this . KOKO everyone.

@lisalisa thank you. How old is your dd?

@NCDTN - she’s 20 now x