Teen Eating Disorders - Thread 5

[myrtleWilson]

Welcome everyone,
Our last thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/eating_disorders/4279530-Teen-Eating-Disorders-Thread-4?watched=1&msgid=111172926#111172926

That we're on thread 5 in about a year is a reflection of the incredible increase in mental health issues, including eating disorders amongst young people over the last couple of years.

With that in mind, we thought we'd try to include some resources that have helped us along the way to date. No one resource will be a panacea but hopefully this list will be a useful starting off point for any newcomers and a reflection for others. It is our first go at sharing a list of resources on a thread so it won't be perfect!

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk

anorexiafamily.com/?v=79cba1185463

www.youtube.com/evamusby

www.youtube.com/channel/UCa7G1P5WQopVMc9qTSP_lgA

www.orri-uk.com

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/eating-disorders/overview/

www.stgeorges.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Junior-MARSIPAN-Risk-Assessment-Framework.pdf

People to look up on social media
Hope Virgo
Ro-Recovering
James Downs
Cara Lisette
Adam Fare
BarefootRebel
Ilona Burton

Girlie hope Covid is not too bad for your DD

Betty - great news on a gain!

dark how are you doing?

@Rollergirl11 what a great update.

Things not so good here. Dd back at school full time at 86% wfh. ED team advised part time but dd got hysterical so they agreed to trial it. Same with supervised lunch/snack. She’d lost a bit this week but tbh I’m pleased and hoping she loses again because she is really pushing back on the eating front and not finishing anything. Maybe a loss or two might make her realise she needs to eat what I’m giving her. Or maybe she’ll just continue to not give a shit forever. Who knows.

They referred her a few weeks ago for ADs but nothing has happened about that yet. In the meantime I’m not allowed to say anything to her about eating/homework/state of her bedroom/state she leaves bathroom in/ total lack of respect for the house or rest of family because “I’m depressed, it’s not my fault, you’re punishing me for something I can’t help”.

I am seriously struggling tbh

Sorry for the moany post. I’ve been ill (just a bad cold), looking after two ill kids and up multiple times in the night with them, expending a ridiculous amount of energy on thinking of foods she might eat and then preparing and serving said foods, then having the torture of trying to get her to actually eat them. Also trying to not completely ignore the one child that is not ill/depressed/anorexic and I just think I’m on my last reserves. Meanwhile my partner gets the same cold and spends two days in bed

@Moomarre - I feel you .. I seem to have what feels like a never ending cold/bad chest at the moment. Life feels like one massive struggle at the moment. Stay strong.

My dd is at school part time at approximately the same wfh. We’ve set the goal of after Christmas and 90% wfh for a full time return.

Back from weigh in and she’s maintained at 47.6 kg. I’m relieved as I’ve been so poorly that the Ed has won a few battles over pudding.

It's so interesting how different EDTs do things. DD1 had periods pretty much all the way through, bar 3, so once she was at 90% they did blood tests to see if they were ovulatory (i.e. 'real').

We went back to the psych/LD nurse yesterday. DD1 is still at about 95% wfh. The psych thinks her decline is that she needs to be at her ideal weight, so wants a 6 week trial of DD1 'eating to plan', as she's resisting snacks, etc., at times. LD nurse suggested a visual timetable, so that's another thing for my list.

Hi all. DD is back in hospital, had dropped by a couple big kilos at home so I took her to A&E. I didn’t know her weight then but could tell by looking at her things were bad.

Just wondering what you’re all doing for advent calendars? I’ve seen a Disney Socks one she’d like or I was thinking a bath product one?
No point buying one with anything edible in it.

Couple OF! Not couple big.

Sorry to hear that @SnitchyBitch. I hope she gets better and out soon.

@SnitchyBitch I hope she picks up again soon. How is she feeling about it?

I always had an advent calendar with picture behind each window and I loved the excitement of it, maybe you could get one of those, it’s surprising how lovely they can be. I’m getting one for myself this year. I’ve got my dd a Candy Kittens advent calendar. She loved them before the Ed so she can challenge herself to have one each day.

Others have mentioned Crystal calendars - my dd would love one of these too.

I think they might transfer her to a in-patient unit the way things are going.
She’s being tube fed on the ward and they won’t keep her indefinitely.
I’ll have a look at those calendars mentioned, thanks all.

@SnitchyBitch oh god sorry to hear that. How incredibly stressful for you all.

[on a different note, DD is getting a 12 days of Benefit Christmas box calendar thing as a birthday present this weekend)]

@Valleyofthedollymix I love the benefit makeup.

@SnitchyBitch sorry to hear DD is in hospital but am glad she's being tube fed - I know its not a long term solution but for me us it helped as it took DD's ED brain out of the equation for a little while when she was so tired and weak. How do you feel about an inpatient unit? I have bought a crystal advent calendar for DD - I think she'll love it.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies I missed your post about mirrors - DD covered hers up with drawings and aspirational quotes as she knew she'd still be drawn to looking where the mirrors were - an ED version of "Do it for Maggie" in the Simpsons!

Glad of the maintenance @Bettybarkalot123 and hope the 6 week plan goes well to plan! @Lougle

We're plodding along here - failed meal out this week, it was too quiet for Dd and she went off on one about her plan to move out but back on track last day or so. She's entering a phase of extreme hunger in this reboot of recovery but isn't quite ready to answer her body's request for more food - but she is talking about her hunger which is a good sign. She definitely has improved in terms of energy and having more about her, hair looks shinier too - all of which makes her happier. Plus she's grown upwards - I kind of assumed at 18 her height gaining days were over!

@myrtleWilson that's so good to hear. I wonder if they all get extreme hunger?

@SnitchyBitch I'm so sorry your DDis back in hospital but I really hope it's transformative for her.

We have booked ice skating for DD on Sunday. The other mum knows we could cancel at the last minute and she knows she has to eat all meals and snacks. So far so good. She also knows we'll weigh her Tuesday and she can play tennis if she's gained properly. Currently 90.3% wfh.

Mentally still not brilliant.

I made this dinner tonight which is one of our favourites and once o checked the calories I realised it's very high.

Put a large jar or two of Albacore tuna in olive oil in a sauté pan. Oil and all. Grate in rind if 2 lemons and add juice. Add 2 cloves of minced or chopped garlic and salt and pepper. If making for AN add a massive swig of extra olive oil. Put on a pan of linguine to cook - 100g or more per person. As the linguine goes in, start gently cooking the tuna. When there's 4 mins to go with the pasta, stir in a large bag of spinach and stir til wilted. Put on the linguine with lots of Parmesan. We have been having this for years and it must be very high in Cals. Around 400 for the tuna, 300 for the pasta plus extra oil and cheese.

We had sticky toffee pudding for afterwards. I'm stuffed!

@DarkBlueEyes Dd loves tuna and spinach so I will make that for us - thank you! I'm making her paella this weekend as she mentioned the other day how we used to eat it but now we don't. When she is in that reminiscing mood about meals I think she is asking us to cook that food for her but without asking us to cook it for her - another way of getting around the ED I think....

On the fb page they talked about advent calendars and said we should all get our kids chocolate ones as usual. It's a win for the ED to not get one 😕 I'm not sure what I'll do. I have got dd a crystal one she'll like so might leave it at that. Someone on the fb page who has a recovered child said their child was secretly gutted the year they didn't get a chocolate calendar which made me feel sad. You can't win with this illness sometimes.

Dd went out with her boyfriend for dinner tonight, seems to have had a good time. I have a feeling of impending doom though, something is up I just can't quite put my finger on what it is though!!

Dark my high calorie go to dinner is salmon with broccoli pasta in a white sauce. I cook the salmon in the oven for 25 mins, cook the pasta and broccoli together and make up a white sauce with butter, flour, ff milk, a big spoonful of soft cheese, grate in a load of cheddar cheese and add a couple of stock cubes. Mix it all together and 😋 I reckon it's an easy 800-1000 calorie dinner.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies God it’s a bloody minefield isn’t it.
I think I’ll get her a non-food one and then a chocolate one but with wrappers like Heroes and then she can save them up for her siblings if she wants to.
I’m also thinking though that she’ll think I’m trying to push her to eat chocolate. Aaagggghhh!!

DDs period came this morning - first one in 7 months or maybe more. She’s absolutely raging. Shouting and screaming, banging around, saying she hates me for doing this to her. Happy Saturday!!! 😫

That is good news (even though it doesn't feel like it!). My daughter's reaction when she got hers back (only to disappear again three months later on losing the weight she'd gained) was elation. She thought she'd be given some lassitude and she wasn't - I can see why but I think she didn't feel she was given any recognition.

It's just the ED the period has pissed off Betty and a pissed off ED is not a bad thing. I'd play it down and keep going.

Things seem weirdly settled here, it's a bit disconcerting 😕 dd doing well with her 3 meals on the whole. I keep waiting for something bad to happen which is what normally happens after a good few days....

I can't wait for dd to have a period again. For me it will be a major sign of her well onto the way of recovery.

Well and truly played down here and she seems fine so far.
She’s onto 85 maybe 86% wfh so I’m quite surprised it came back so early.

Only .. not on to

Hello all. DD's birthday this weekend - sadly no cake scoffed for her. I remember a year ago I'd already rung the GP but been mollified but her not eating her birthday and then Christmas chocolate was what really prompted the diagnosis.

What a bloody awful year it's been. I am optimistic (deluded?) that this year will be better.

Happy birthday to your DD @Valleyofthedollymix. DD1's birthday is this week, too. All a bit sad because she wants a quiet birthday - tea with Nanny and Grandad (and us) only. We might take her to a farm for the day. She finds other people too much.