I’m confused about my eating habits.
But I’m writing here from desperation. I want someone to come along and tell me not to do it. I went out for a meal with my husband and all I want to do is make myself be sick. He’s sleeping and can’t resist the urge tk sneak away.
But I’m a mother to a 2 year old girl and this is not ok.
It’s like an angel on one shoulder and a demon on the other. One showing me light and telling me it’s not the answer, the promise is empty, you wil only feel worthless, it’s unhealthy, you’re a mother, you’re responsible for your daughters health, get a grip.
The demon says it’s a one off, the bingeing won’t happen again, you won’t be so full again, it will just help you sleep, it’ll be over so soon, you’ll feel relieved.
I don’t have a massive problem with this behaviour but I have noticed the odd occasion where I’ll eat too much and just feel so uncomfortable I have to force myself t be sick. It’s happened enough to make me aware it’s not ok. Not every day not every week but maybe once a month sometimes more.
I know it’s not ok and I need to resist