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Eating disorders

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Original poster

Help with purging

10 replies

GinaG678 · 18/12/2020 23:21

I’m confused about my eating habits.
But I’m writing here from desperation. I want someone to come along and tell me not to do it. I went out for a meal with my husband and all I want to do is make myself be sick. He’s sleeping and can’t resist the urge tk sneak away.
But I’m a mother to a 2 year old girl and this is not ok.
It’s like an angel on one shoulder and a demon on the other. One showing me light and telling me it’s not the answer, the promise is empty, you wil only feel worthless, it’s unhealthy, you’re a mother, you’re responsible for your daughters health, get a grip.
The demon says it’s a one off, the bingeing won’t happen again, you won’t be so full again, it will just help you sleep, it’ll be over so soon, you’ll feel relieved.

I don’t have a massive problem with this behaviour but I have noticed the odd occasion where I’ll eat too much and just feel so uncomfortable I have to force myself t be sick. It’s happened enough to make me aware it’s not ok. Not every day not every week but maybe once a month sometimes more.
I know it’s not ok and I need to resist

OP posts:

greenhillss · 19/12/2020 03:53

Don't do it........ it's not that easy sometimes but realising your problem is a big step, and you have the ability to deal with it. Will just be hard x

Hunnihun2 · 19/12/2020 07:20

How long have you felt like this OP? Are you over weight? Tbh I would phone your GP for some direction and advice.

babynumber2pending · 19/12/2020 07:35

I'm not sure if there is a specific health board on here where you may get more or better responses?

Sorry youre going through this, I think the first step may be to speak to your husband if you can and talk to a specialist. Random but there may also be support on YouTube?

Is the purging linked to feeling overweight? Or trying to have control? I don't know much about this, sorry. It sounds like you have acknowledged an issue though

MNHQ

CarolineMumsnet · 19/12/2020 10:51

We're sorry to hear you're feeling like this, OP

We're going to move this one over to our eating disorders board for you now. We hope you get the advice and support that you are after over there.

Original poster

GinaG678 · 19/12/2020 12:16

I’m not overweight. I’m about 8 st 12 and 5 3. But to me this is not my comfortable weight at all. I feel my best around 8st 3.
I lost a baby 5 months along earlier in the year so had some weight from that. I did lose a bit of it but then got pregnant again and lost that really early. I know I want to conceive again so feel losing weight and dieting isn’t healthy for that.

I didn’t get sick last night. I forced myself to just deal with it and went to sleep. When I say binge it was really just a meal with started and main and a few drinks. But I felt so full up. I just don’t know why I can’t cope with the feeling of being full and it makes me feel better and relieved to get rid but I know that’s not the answer.

OP posts:

greenhillss · 20/12/2020 03:22

It's not natural to feel full really, animals tend to when they're hungry or stop when they're full, we don't stop and end up feeling worse because we should have stopped eating already. It's a horrible feeling when you have eaten too much. Eat a bit slower and chew food for longer. But it's definitely normal to hate that feeling

Copperbeaches · 25/10/2021 21:44

Hi, I can completly relate to what your saying as I do the same thing, we are also similar size too! . I hate feeling full and don't binge its literally after a dinner that I would consider large or I feel full up I get the urge to be sick. I try to avoid it but feel so uncomfortable sometimes I give in.
I sadly have no advice but just to say your not alone
Its a terrible habit to get in to as I'm worried wil become now often

thenightsky · 25/10/2021 22:02

I also completely understand that feeling of fullness. I can be massively hungry, then eat, then feel shit coz I should have stayed with the hungry feeling.

thenightsky · 25/10/2021 22:03

Sorry.. just to add, I've not actually made myself throw up for a good decade now, but still beat myself up mentally. Now I try to just sleep, then eat a bit less the next day or two.

Bonnie90x · 25/10/2021 22:07

I have had bulimia for 17 years, it's a nasty soul destroying illness and if purging becomes regular it really can spiral quite quickly into an established eating disorder. I have been purge free for almost 3 months which is the longest I have ever gone. What has helped me is listening to my body and recognise when I'm nicely fed and not full, I relate to you disliking feeling full I'm exactly the same, so I just try to avoid it. Low carbing also lowers my appetite so I feel less inclined to eat too much. I hope you're able to break the habit, and well done for recognising it's a problem. Good luck xx

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