Hello. I am posting because I feel really out of control and don't know what to do. I have had a problem for about twenty-two years on and off. I get a bit chubby and then decide to lose weight. I do so by counting calories and doing exercise but then eventually I slip and end up putting it all back on. when dieting I get obsessed with food to the point it's all I can think about. after a time I inevitably start binging and purging.
right now I feel like I am at rock bottom. I am down to borderline size 8 and I run a lot, which I love and I feel healthier and better for, but at weekends I get into this binging cycle and feel so guilty and rubbish. I feel like I am harming myself and my teeth and I have two dds that I would hate to ever suffer the same sorts of issues. but I can't bear to think that what I eat is going to make me fat again and I am so greedy I can't seem to live without guzzling chocolate and stuff so I eat it, feel guilty and panicked so I eat and eat and then vomit. I then feel stupid because I am way too old for an ed and I am an intelligent, fortunate person who ought to know better.
I gave been to the gp and a counsellor in the past but it hasn't helped.