Considering First donor egg try at 45yrs old

[Halokitty]

we are a childless couple, I have PCOS, and I have spent the last 10yrs being a carer for a very ill family member.
i feel I really have to try donor egg ivf now, or will forever regret it.
its nearly £10k per attempt and success is around 15% at my age.
am I wasting my time and money?
has anyone around my age had success? How many cycles did it take?

@Slowlaine I'm out and about at the moment but will reply properly later!

@Slowlaine I have an over active thyroid. It was under control and I wasn't on any meds...however a blood test last year at IB (just before a planned transfer) revealed I was over active again, and transfer was postponed until my TSH was a certain level. My GP is useless, wouldn't prescribe the thyroid meds (which they had prescribed on and off since 2017) without re refering me to the endocrine team at the hospital - it would have taken months so I went via my BUPA to a consultant I'd previously seen. My GP practice were no help whatsoever throughout the whole process. I had to get a letter to say I was physically and mentally well - GP wouldn't even do that so I had to pay a private GP (after writing to my GP to get my records released). So, I've managed things via the clinic (lots of additional tests, generally cheaper in Spain than UK where they would all have had to have been private), and via my BUPA (luckily covered with work) and via the private GP. I'm sure the clinic wouldn't freak, they will have seen and dealt with all sorts of problems. I would go into it expecting zero support from your GP and expecting to pay for extra tests/treatments at IB and privately in the UK. Good luck. It took me a long time, lots of stress and expense, but very worth it!!

Congratulations @Karmaismycat so pleased to hear your update.

@Apollonia1 sorry to hear of your painful journey before the arrival of your twins, they must be a joy.

@Slowlaine my GP was never any help but however you get pregnant you will get the treatment that the NHS deems appropriate. IB wanted me to have blood tests and scans at certain points on the early pregnancy so I just had them privately. But if the NHS think you need some test or another, they won’t just not do it because you had private treatment abroad.
Spanish clinics will be well used to dealing with all kinds of health issues, but they are less well used to the hoops we have to jump through in the UK for very basic healthcare.

Such a good heart. Caring for a family member is not easy - and you did that for 10 years!

I'm not sure if you already have your fertility clinic choice, if none yet, I thought you might like to consider Fertility First. They say that 77% of their Central IVF donor egg recipients who met the embryo quality guarantee have achieved a clinical pregnancy. They also help all women of all ages, so no age limit. Here's where I found the article if you want to read more.

Whatever you treatment option (or none) you decide, I wish you all the best!

Hi everyone, just joining this chat as we are 10 weeks pregnant with DE from IB in Madrid. I'm 45 and after 5 failed IVF cycles with zero embryos due to my egg quality we decided to pursue a different route. We went for the pregnancy guarantee program with IB and we got pregnancy on the first transfer and have 5 embryos frozen. We are not planning to tell anyone that we did DE and I wanted to ask what others have done/planning to do?
Good luck to everyone on this journey.

Go for it. After 5 failed own egg rounds, the round that worked was a donor round and now we have the best, most amazing 2 year old daughter.

Definitely go for it, I was older than you. After failed IVF with my own eggs we decided to go for DE, I got pregnant twice, the 1st failed but the second is now asleep upstairs age 7! When we did it, in the U.K. you could choose the physical characteristics and background (to an extent) of the donor but it took awhile to wait for the right donor to come along so the sooner you start the better.

Huge congrats @syd79!!

I'm also preggers with DE from IB Alicante

I'm not planning on telling anyone re donor- this was also one of the reasons for choosing Spain and IB - complete anonymity and no future worries re contact etc.

I trust their matching process is rigorous and we used my partners sperm

I also did several IVF with own eggs and was just so traumatic. Once I let go and settled on DE everything changed mentally and I never looked back. It's an amazing thing for us to have this opportunity.

Good luck hope you're enjoying being pregnant 😊 and that everything goes smoothly 🤞

Hello @Serendipity24 how did your DE journey go further?
@Syd79 @Countrygrrrl how are you feeling?

Hi @GingerFox2021 my DE journey remains unsuccessful. Transferred a total of 5 embryos last year. I had one miscarriage at 6 weeks and the rest did not implant. I am not at all happy with my experience at IB Alicante, so now looking elsewhere to do one last cycle that takes into account my immune issues that IB did not bother with even testing (despite my repeated requests) until after all embryos were gone.

What did you end up doing? Hope you are luckier than me.

My friend went to a clinic in Alicante and it was very affordable. If was recommended by a UK gynaecologist. It is also anonymous.She was successful on the second attempt.

Hi @GingerFox2021 I had a baby boy just over 3 weeks ago ! He's absolutely beautiful and after everything I can hardly believe it.🙏

Was suppsed to have a C section as scans showed he was big and Drs were concerned I was too old to push buy he came 5 days early completely naturally and honestly I feel great. Breast feeding pretty relentless but it's already getting easier in night and I've recovered from the birth.

Sorry to everyone who has had a bad experience- you have to push them to do what is right for you- ask questions and don't take anything you're not happy with

Honestly it's been worth it for me- it was 2nd transfer and I have 4 embryos left. It is a shame to read that anyone can have MC at 6 weeks with DE- my donor was 19 it all helps

Good luck with everything

Hi @Countrygrrrl a huge congratulations to you! Very happy to hear that everything went smoothly for you and the baby. Enjoy motherhood, all the best 💕

Thanks @Serendipity it's been a long slog for us- time and money wasted not to mention the emotional roller coaster but I'm glad I stuck with it- toughest thing I ever did

All the best to you hope you find peace with it all 🙏

I think it is important to highlight the difference between pregnancy and life birth. Clinics give pregnancy statistics but what really matters are life births %, which can be 10-15% lower.

I first came across this information on a egg donation friends site—it was the first place to clearly explain how clinics calculate their success rates. What’s more, clinics show success rates like clinical pregnancy for women under 30, which can look very different from live birth rates for women over 40. These articles are still available on the site, and in my opinion, they’re a must-read for anyone wanting to choose the best clinic and avoid unfair practices.

A 48 year old friend of mine just had a baby with a donor egg!

It is quite common though as pregnancy with donor egg is not age dependent...

I know few cases of getting pregnant with their own eggs at that age - that is rare.

Britain is shockingly bad on all fronts, medicine in general, and IVF.