Considering First donor egg try at 45yrs old

[Halokitty]

we are a childless couple, I have PCOS, and I have spent the last 10yrs being a carer for a very ill family member.
i feel I really have to try donor egg ivf now, or will forever regret it.
its nearly £10k per attempt and success is around 15% at my age.
am I wasting my time and money?
has anyone around my age had success? How many cycles did it take?

Hi all … just jumping in .. I’m 48 ( last week ) and have heard a few of you write about IB Spain ? Would anyone be happy to help me on the process and costs ? I’ve no children and my husband and I have realised we have to go donor egg due to a few miscarriages and it’s now or never… please help :) xx thanks all x

Feel free to send me a private message with any questions you have. I'm pregnant after donor egg treatment in IB Alicante

Hope you’re feeling well @Karmaismycat

@otterpaws76 sorry to hear about your miscarriages.
IB has clinics in different cities in mainland Spain as well as in Mallorca. We used IB Madrid, very convenient flights from London (well you can fly anywhere from London but we made many trips and the Madrid flights weren’t so affected by summer holidays etc). I can’t help you with costs as we spent more than a straightforward egg donation cycle due to trying own egg IVF too.
IB will want to check your DH’s sperm.
You’ll need a mammogram and a smear test. Whatever tests you need it will most likely be cheaper to fly to Spain for them and you’ll get a proper feel for the clinic. For reference I think my smear test with them was €50 and they arranged a mammogram appointment. Blood tests were also cheaper there.
Maybe get in contact and see what they say. I’ve heard people say good things about a few other Spanish clinics too.

Thank you so much for the reply … I really appreciate it. I’ve emailed them so will see what they say :) I think it’s the idea of flying over and having care in another country as opposed to UK .. it’s a bit scary x

I felt the same which is why my husband and I flew to Spain to visit the clinic before committing. My experience of staff at Spanish clinics is amazing. They were so kind and supportive. Arriving at the clinic, I was made to feel so comfortable. You should be assigned a medical assistant who will be a point of contact. It really helps to be able to pick up the phone and speak to
someone about any queries that come to mind. The travel aspect wasn’t really a hassle; I live in Devon so we would have had to travel to access a donor clinic in the UK anyway. It’s nice to have a break in eye sun as well. My husband and I got married during Covid so our first visit to the clinic was actually our honeymoon.

@Halokitty You most definitely should go for it . As others have mentioned, the success rate is much much higher than 15% and your age does not matter, it's the donor's age that matters.

@otterpaws76 I am currently with IB Alicante. Our fresh transfer did not work and now waiting for FET. The idea of going to a foreign country to have such an important treatment is indeed scary at first, but in reality it works out nicely. You get a break, enjoy the sunshine, and their service is much better than what you would get here. We visited the clinic to get some initial tests done because we wanted to get the feel first, and the tests were a lot cheaper over there too. I had mammogram done at a nearby hospital (the machine at IB was broken when we visited) and it cost only 60 euro whereas a private mammogram in London will cost you £250!

Thank you all for your time to comment .. really appreciate it x

I also consider going abroad as a long weekend away etc. I am a travel person, anyway, so I don’t count flight/accommodation as expenses towards treatment. It’s just a bonus for me while I have a treatment /appt abroad.

I went with IVI Baby in Spain.
I am currently in very early pregnancy after the 2nd donor transfer. I’d previously had 3 miscarriages and four of my own embryos transferred (none of which implanted) over a period of six years prior to going down the donor route.
Ive had a good experience with IVI Baby and crossing my fingers it’s fourth time lucky for us (I’m 41).
Wishing you all the best of luck. I’ve felt very isolated being in this position and it’s been so helpful looking at these forums and knowing others are in a similar position. x

@Halokitty hi. What have you decided in the end?

Friends were also Reprofit in Czechia. Nothing but good things and donor egg transfer worked first time.

Hi everyone just joining because we are starting to look at donor egg IVF abroad, I am 41 in a few months time and panicking like crazy that the odds are now firmly against me. Was looking for recommendations for donor egg clinics in Spain. Booked initial consultation with IVI but they’re so corporate seeming. IB have replied to my emails and seem much more supportive. They have not pressured me to book anything like IVI have, but they don’t seem to have quite as good success rates? Very confused right now. The anxiety is mushing my brain. I have a LOT of endocrine issues going on and although single transfer with IB looks like the most supportive route to go, I worry that it will end up needing more cycles so better to go with an outfit that has the option of a double transfer? Despairing a bit here as not sure where to go. Any advice/thoughts would be very gratefully received 🙏

I am god mother to a precious, wonderful conceived by my friend through donor egg in her late 40s. So many lives enhanced by her birth- Hood luck OP

@Slowlaine I am with IB and happy with them even though my first two DE embryo transfers with them have failed. The first one did not implant and the second one was a biochemical at 6 weeks. We have three more embryos, so waiting for the next FET.

I like that they do not push for lots of tests for the sake of it. Regarding double transfer, it is allowed if there is medical case for it, there is no blanket ban. Of course theoretically DE embryos have higher chances of implanting, that's why single transfer is encouraged and offered first. I don't know IVI success rate, but IB DE success rate is 90% (cumulative after 3 transfers), so not exactly bad!

If you are not sure about these two, then how about checking out a third one? That might put things in perspective. Good luck with whatever you decide 🍀

@Serendipity24 thank you so much I’ll have a look about for one or two others, I could go round in circles for months if I do not make a decision! So far leaning towards IB though because of their success rates and track record,
all the very best of luck and big hugs to you, take it easy 💖

@Slowlaine I am also with IB, their Madrid clinic. I did have consultations with other clinics. I’m sure you’ll get a good feeling about one of the clinics you contact.

I am in the process of going back for another FET hoping for a sibling after previous successful donor egg treatment.

Just go for it. I had my first following years of fertility treatment. I had 2 fresh cycles of ICSI and 5 or 6 frozen cycles. They were my lady frozen embryo. My second was a happy and miraculous accident. I had my first at 40 (although they were in the freezer for several years) and my second at 42.

@ChangeAgain2 can I ask what if any lifestyle changes or mental health changes over the course of your journey that you think may have contributed to your success in the end?

TW: Mental health

I had fertility counselling during my treatments. It was free with my clinic. I think they offered 6 sessions per cycle. It didn't matter if it was a fresh or frozen one. I'm not sure how helpful it was. I was never truly honest because I was scared that they would raise safeguarding concerns.

Honestly, I was ready on the verge of a nervous breakdown by my final transfer. I lost 2 twin pregnancy during the process and the whole process was brutal. The practical stuff I found easy. The emotional stuff fucked me. You need to be positive but don't get your hopes up. My counsellor said every cycle was like a bereavement of a close family member and to allow myself to feel grief and express it. Although, no one really understood or talked about it. It's all a bit taboo IVF and miscarriage. I talk very openly because I think it gives other people space to share as well.

I had acupuncture during every cycle. My acupuncturist suggested I only ate organic meat, eggs and dairy because of the hormones that are used on farms. I couldn't afford organic meat but I did switch to organic eggs, milk and cheese.

In my final, successful, cycle I did interlipid infusion. I don't know if they helped but I dont think I did anything else different.

The other thing I'll say and I hope you don't mind me saying it. The trauma of my IVF did carry through into pregnancy and my child's early years. Everyone, couldn't understand why I wasn't happy but I was traumatised, scared and anxious all the time. I wish I had got help during the pregnancy. I'm not sure why I didn't. I guess I felt I was meant to be happy and grateful but I was just terrified. All I'm saying is if you need support don't wait. It only gets better if you address it.

Good luck on your journey x

Hi @Slowlaine I'm also at IB Alicante- from.my own research and recommendations. I did have a bit of a hiccup with them so I went over last month to meet them, and also for my mock cycle scan. I was really impressed (as was my partner and he isn't easily impressed!)

I have changed Dr, we had time with a paychologist and an embryologist and now i just feel really positive about the whole thing. I've had bad experience in UK and did look at Czech but felt there was too much of a cultural barrier for me to undergo this kind of thing there. I feel way more comfortable in Spain.

I'm 43 , and have grappled for a yr over trying naturally/doing IVF again as so many seem to get pregnant naturally at 43, but I just don't want to wait any longer. You're younger than me so you have more time 🙏

It isn't what I would have chosen in my life plan but its a decent compromise and i will make the best of it.

I wouldn't deliberate over small variations in success rates between clinics as I think some of these figures are massaged...particularly by the corporates.

Good luck 🤞

At 45, after a number of years trying with my own eggs, I went for donor eggs.
First I went to a clinic in Ukraine. First transfer, got pregnant, but unfortunately the baby had chromosomal issues and I lost it at 15 weeks. Second and third transfers did not work.

I started again with a clinic in Greece. First transfer got pregnant, but miscarriage at 8 weeks. Second transfer, I got pregnant (age 47) with b/g twins who are now 4.

A forum I found very helpful is www.fertilityfriends.co.uk.
Through that site, I found a fertility nurse, Ruth Pellow, who liaises with multiple clinics in Spain, Greece and Czech Republic. She is based in Greece, but is British, so no language barrier. She recommended the clinic in Athens I went to (Ovum) since it has very high success rates.

Good luck with your decision.

Paid for donor search. Feeling anxious even though nothing has started yet!
I’m 44 now.

@GingerFox2021 congrats on getting started! Which country have you decided on?

@Apollonia1 I am so sorry for your struggle and losses. Thanks for sharing your story, it gave me hope.

@Slowlaine I'm just cuddling with my 5 week old baby - the result of DE treatment in IB Alicante. He is perfect and I am so in love with him. He's the result of many years of struggles - 2 X own egg IVF rounds in UK. He was conceived on the 2nd DE cycle. The first 3 DE transfers failed, on this cycle I had additional tests, and different medication - and it worked. I am 46. I had a few hiccups with IB but I've found them very good, caring and professional. I'm happy to answer any questions you may have.

@Karmaismycat thank you for the reply and congratulations! I’m so happy for you 💖 Did you have any underlying medical issues and if so did IB manage them alone without any help from your home doctors? I have had my GP in the UK say that a medical team abroad might “freak” if they see my full medical history and also that there is a new rule now whereby they would not help out if I needed any follow up treatment after IVF abroad. They would only do basic UK pregnancy monitoring and no additional treatments recommended by the clinic abroad.