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Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

Original poster

Egg Donor Experiences

36 replies

thehurtingheart · 29/08/2023 08:24

Hi folks, we have been trying to start our family for two years and in this time have had 4 miscarriages. As part of the investigations into this we found out that I am a carrier for a genetic disease which has a one in four chance of being passed on. We also found out that I have PCOS, hypothyroidism and an immune reaction to pregnancy. I am now being treated for these but have not fallen pregnant again yet.

In a dream world I would use IVF and PGT to have a baby of our own but unfortunately the costs of this are prohibitive, especially with our miscarriage history. Access fertility seemed like a good option to support financially but they don't cover PGT as part of this. They do seem to cover use of donor eggs though which has now led me to considering this.

I am really looking to hear others experiences of going down the egg donor route... particularly if you were in a similar situation!

Thanks for reading!

OP posts:
reyran236 · 29/08/2023 09:16

I had a very positive experience with it. There are no guarantees and it's expensive but for me it was worth it.

Original poster
thehurtingheart · 29/08/2023 14:18

@reyran236 thanks for your response. Did you do this in the UK? How long roughly did the process take for you?

OP posts:
reyran236 · 29/08/2023 15:03

I had it in Spain (as I was living there at the time). It took three tries

Belle26 · 29/08/2023 17:52

Hi, we've just recently gone down the DE root and I honeslty have no regrets.

I had a previous MC and then did 3 rounds of IVF using my own eggs all of which failed and we never had any embryos to freeze. We took a few years out to get our heads around donors and then this year we decided we were ready. We actually ended up using double donors. We had treatment in Madrid and ended up transferring a top grade embryo which I'm currently 6+2 weeks with now and have 4 embryos in the freezer too. The process was smooth although a lot of waiting round for emails. We don't regret it at all.

I hope you find this helpful. It does take a while to get your head around using donors but in my head I kind of told myself that it was realistically the only way I could get pregnant.

Original poster
thehurtingheart · 29/08/2023 17:59

@Belle26 thanks so much for your response! Tentative Congratulations on your current pregnancy!

How did you settle on Spain? How often did you have to physically go over there?

OP posts:
Belle26 · 29/08/2023 18:26

thehurtingheart · 29/08/2023 17:59

@Belle26 thanks so much for your response! Tentative Congratulations on your current pregnancy!

How did you settle on Spain? How often did you have to physically go over there?

Thank you ☺️ I have a scan next Wednesday that I'm so anxious for. I'm hoping we see a heartbeat. This journey is rough isn't it?!

Honestly I've always wanted to visit Madrid so it was a two birds one stone situation. Plus I spoke to a few people who went to Spain for treatment all had a good experience. And the prices where very reasonable. As we used double donors we only had to go once for the embryo transfer. All the rest of the treatment was done in Liverpool through Create fertility. If you were using your partners sperm he would have to go and do that on the day your donor has egg collection too.

blacksnow · 04/09/2023 20:50

Hi, I am so sorry you are going through this. However, II would recommend checking out prices of IVF PGD/PGS NGS in Europe, particulary in Poland and Czech Rep (starts from EUR7,000) and in Spain or Cyprus. (e.g. here) Do not give up, myself I know ladies with success in Czech and Poland. And also, IVF DE is much cheaper and more affordable in Europe. Good luck x

FrontEnd · 04/09/2023 20:59

A close friend of mine also did it in Spain....her twins have just turned 18! IIRC (long time ago!) decision was mix of experience of doctors plus Spanish law on donor/recipient anonymity. Very best of luck to you.

Junibug · 04/09/2023 21:04

Hi OP, we did it in the UK through Care Fertility based in Nottingham. Like others have said, it was expensive but we got lucky on our second round and I'm expecting next month.

Time wise, we started our initial consultations last Spring, so including the failed round last Xmas, it took about 12 months to get the successful pregnancy. Although we did wait quite a while for our access to the Egg Bank so that made it longer than I think is usual?

Good luck with whatever you decide to do x

Oopsididitagain12 · 04/09/2023 21:09

We did it three times in Barcelona and it was successful each time, although unfortunately the first time I had an ectopic pregnancy (which does happen slightly more often with IVF unfortunately, I believe).

Children are now 14 and 7. Very best of luck wherever you decide to go.

Sushisnacks · 29/09/2023 13:22

Hello

I have to explore double donor, but really want to be able to see/select the egg donor myself and see a photo. Its important to me that the donor are non anonymous.
Does anyone know of a clinic in any country (minus Ukraine/Russia because of the war) where you could select a donor yourself.

I looked at Lister Fertility in London and they select a donor for you based off your preferences. e.g blonde hair, blues eyes etc. I find this really weird.

Spain / Czech Rep and most other countries egg donation is anonymous.

We can select a sperm donor and see photos but is it possible with egg?

Any help welcome

Junibug · 29/09/2023 16:47

Sushisnacks · 29/09/2023 13:22

Hello

I have to explore double donor, but really want to be able to see/select the egg donor myself and see a photo. Its important to me that the donor are non anonymous.
Does anyone know of a clinic in any country (minus Ukraine/Russia because of the war) where you could select a donor yourself.

I looked at Lister Fertility in London and they select a donor for you based off your preferences. e.g blonde hair, blues eyes etc. I find this really weird.

Spain / Czech Rep and most other countries egg donation is anonymous.

We can select a sperm donor and see photos but is it possible with egg?

Any help welcome

You can select a donor in the UK but not aware of any clinic that will let you see a photo. You can select from the following criteria - bmi, height, skin tone, hair colour and eye colour.

Junibug · 29/09/2023 17:20

I forgot to say - you won't be able to find out any personal details about the donor but any future child that is produced as a result will be able to contact them when they reach a certain age (I think it's 16) at which time they'll be given the name and last known location. I think that's right.

obje · 29/09/2023 18:31

My best friend has a 4 week old DS followng egg donor. She was extremely lucky and it worked 1st time, she also has 6 more embryos frozen so potential siblings.

She also had it in Spain. She had (unsuccessful) IVF in the UK, then went to Spain for IVF as apparently they're more advanced in her specific 'condition' (sorry don't know if that's the right word) - she had low AMH.

That's how she initially ended up visiting the clinic in Spain and when it was unsuccessful she looked into donor eggs with them. I can't remember the detail but she said the law is different in Spain and that's why it's so popular. Apparently they are way more advanced with genetic testing etc and they also used facial recognition to find a match. Hope you're doing ok, must be so difficult

Musicalfan · 29/09/2023 18:50

I had 2 DE births that I carried. Two amazing children. In England. Happy to talk to you privately. I'm a massive advocate of it! Thank you.

Musicalfan · 29/09/2023 18:50

I was at the Lister fyi. They were great x

JournoR · 29/11/2023 17:28

It is fascinating hearing about peoples experiences with egg donation. I am a trainee journalist and am currently working on a radio piece about the shortage of egg donors in the UK, as I don't think many people understand how multifaceted the process is.

If anyone would want to talk to me about their experiences, either on or off the record, I would be really grateful as I still have a lot to learn.

Thank you x

RedPandaFluff · 29/11/2023 18:59

I have two beautiful daughters as a result of egg donation - I didn't produce any eggs of my own so if I wanted a family, this was the only option for me. We used Care Fertility and they were great - I found they really listened to me and agreed to try things like prednisone, Inhixa etc.

And I am grateful every day to the kind woman who chose to donate her eggs - I hope my daughters contact her when they're old enough, so I can thank her.

Sunshinebytheseaside · 29/11/2023 22:55

I hope my daughters contact her when they're old enough, so I can thank her This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read @RedPandaFluff so pleased things have worked out for you. We are considering DE IVF at Care Fertility so it’s good to hear you had a positive experience. It sounds like you had treatment a while ago so appreciate things may have changed but would you mind sharing a bit more about your experience with Care? What sort of timescales were involved, did you find there was a good selection of donors to choose from, how did you find the matching process, is there anything you think we should be wary of? Any advice gratefully received!

RedPandaFluff · 30/11/2023 09:06

@Sunshinebytheseaside My second DD is less than four months old, and my elder DD is four, and Care Fertility were fantastic for both treatments. Waiting time was minimal - they found a donor within a couple of months of my committing to treatment with them, although this could be luck and maybe timescales vary according to requirements. They phoned me and read out a profile that included physical traits like hair, eye and skin colour, height/weight, likes and dislikes. Not only was this donor a match for me physically but her likes and dislikes were identical - we like the same sports, hobbies and food! It felt totally right and as if it were meant to be. Even better, her reason for donating eggs was that she had completed her own family and loved being a mum, so wanted to help someone else experience that who otherwise wouldn't. Many donors donate eggs for cut price IVF treatment, which always made me uneasy, so this kind person's purely altruistic motive blew me away and I thought she must be such a kind person.

We got two great quality embryos from that cycle, and both became my daughters. When I was keen to transfer the second embryo, the clinic was ready to go as soon as I was. Honestly I couldn't speak more highly of my experience with this clinic although I appreciate that's probably partly because I've been so lucky in having two successful cycles with them.

I think if you have any doubts at all about the donor you're offered, pass and wait for another to come up. If it's right, you'll know, and feel good about it.

RedPandaFluff · 30/11/2023 09:10

I actually got really emotional writing that - pesky hormones Grin

Britinme · 30/11/2023 22:24

My DD and her DH both had fertility issues and ended up having assisted conception. Two failed attempts with their own genetic material and one failed donor embryo that MC at 8 weeks led to donor egg and donor sperm for their fourth attempt. This produced six good embryos. The first produced a beautiful daughter and the defrosting of another two years later produced her beautiful sister. My granddaughters are now 7 and 4, totally delightful, and I love them exactly the same as my genetic grandchildren.

Sunshinebytheseaside · 01/12/2023 23:26

Thanks for your reply @RedPandaFluff, and congratulations on your girls. Appreciate the advice re waiting for the right donor too. We’ve been at this a long time, so while getting impatient, a few more months won’t make much difference. Great to hear you had such a positive experience with Care!

NotMyDayJob · 01/12/2023 23:31

Britinme · 30/11/2023 22:24

My DD and her DH both had fertility issues and ended up having assisted conception. Two failed attempts with their own genetic material and one failed donor embryo that MC at 8 weeks led to donor egg and donor sperm for their fourth attempt. This produced six good embryos. The first produced a beautiful daughter and the defrosting of another two years later produced her beautiful sister. My granddaughters are now 7 and 4, totally delightful, and I love them exactly the same as my genetic grandchildren.

My DM absolutely adores my DE DD just as much as she adores my OE DD. My MIL adores both of them (slightly different as my husband is the biological/genetic father of both) having our second DD has really been the best thing we've ever done.

ListerMummy · 19/12/2023 21:10

@Sushisnacks I’m doing this right now in the US, using Lister for monitoring here. Feel free to PM me.