Donating eggs

[msc6199]

Hi all,

Has anybody donated their eggs and would mind sharing their experience?

I am seriously considering it. I've always liked helping others and I am confident I don't want children of my own (I just cannot face bringing them into the world we live in), however, to give the gift of life to others who are struggling would mean a lot to me. I know there is a lot to think about and consider, so any stories/advice you could pass would be much appreciated x

It's not without risk to your own health. A friend nearly died during the process of egg harvesting Could you donate time or money to a charity that supports children that are already alive instead?

but you would be bringing your biological children Into the same world we live in.. they would just be with someone else.
You will find a lot of info on the "Donor conceived children and adults" group on Facebook.

@biggreenhouse

but you would be bringing your biological children Into the same world we live in.. they would just be with someone else. You will find a lot of info on the "Donor conceived children and adults" group on Facebook.

Good point. I hadn't thought of it like this before. I only started thinking about it over the weekend, so thank you for your thoughts!

@Thissucksmonkeynuts

It's not without risk to your own health. A friend nearly died during the process of egg harvesting Could you donate time or money to a charity that supports children that are already alive instead?

Oh goodness, that's awful. I'm sorry to hear that. There's certainly a lot to research and weigh up what it's worth.

I did.
The original plan was to donate to a family member. However, she was not ready at the time, and the hospital suggested that if I still wanted to donate I could do, as donor eggs on their own are not as viable after freezing, as opposed to fertilised embryos, and it would go in favour of the family member when she was ready.
I went ahead.
To this day I have no idea if it worked, I had counselling, and injected the fertility drugs daily for a few weeks.
I was looked after very well and had sedation for the retrieval of the eggs.
I never consider myself to potentially have other children.
I just helped a couple in need, same as donating blood or plasma.
I genuinely hope that it worked for them, from the few details I got, they sounded like a lovely couple who were truly grateful.

I think it is an admirable thing to do to help couples suffering from infertility. It is also far better than surrogacy in terms of ethics.

I do agree there is a bit of disconnect in you saying you don’t want children because of the world we live in, and yet donating eggs would result in children from you living in this world. I think you do need to think hard, and either realise that this part of the world really isn’t that bad, it’s where the child would be born and raised, and the future is unwritten and could be better than now. Or whether you believe no children should be born at all, in which case you can’t really justify contributing to that by donating eggs.

You seem a bit torn and that’s ok. You just need to discuss and think and work through this before making a decision.

I did it about 20 years ago (early 20s) and now have chn of my own too.
It was quite intense for a few weeks but not much longer. A few hospital visits for scans and appts to check I was psychologically prepared and suitable. Then regular injection of drugs befor me harvest. Procedure was about 30 mins under general and I felt awful for the anaesthetic but not the procedure itself really.
I don’t regret it, I did it twice for the same couple. It resulted in twins which is fab. The second time my eggs also went somewhere else and I don’t know if they resulted in anything.
I don’t want any contact with them as adults and specified that on info etc as I don’t view them as anything to do with me. Much like donating blood. I’m very glad I did it now but have had a few regrets over the years. These have been mainly driven by other people’s reaction to it though (they made me feel ashamed) and I feel like I own it now. My young chn know about it too as I don’t want it to be a big secret.
I found it very rewarding and have been secretly proud of it a long time

My ds came from a donor egg. I wish I had known how precious a gift I could have given earlier in life. It’s a massively generous thing to do and has been a miracle for us. Think it through OP but I think it’s a wonderful thing to do. I’ve had several egg collections myself. It’s Pt super fun but it wasn’t debilitating in any way. Thanks for thinking of us out there, who desperately want to be parents :)

Many children will want to find you and if you or anyone in your family have ever done DNA family tree type tests (or do in the future) they will be able to.
I joined the Facebook group because I used a sperm Donor and the overwhelming feeling is that if you donate, you should be as open as possible. ideally to someone you know so the child/adult can have contact with u in future or at least provide all contact details and as much info about u as you can. Genetic bewilderment can be very difficult for someone to go through. we've tried out best to get as much Info as possible about our child's genetic family as its been quite challenging for them to come to terms with.

As others have suggested, doing research, both for the medical process and risks are as well as what the long-term implications are, is important I think, so to make an informed decision.

Thought this relates to surrogacy, the woman who donated her eggs shares her experience. She didn't want her eggs used in surrogacy and was told that she couldn't make that request.

https://stopsurrogacynowuk.org/2021/08/20/egg-donation-and-surrogacy-guest-post-from-kat-howard-radfem_kath-short-read/

I know clinics will say there are no risks or no known risks, that doesn't mean it is without risk.

Hi. I am friends with a woman who donated young and had terrible side effects that caused infertility for her when she tried to have her own children at 27. 27 is pretty young to have infertility issues. Also, she didn't think she wanted children when she donated at 18 but changed her mind. This isn't surprising because humans change a lot between 18-25.

Nothing wrong with not having children but if you donate, you will have biological children in the world who may want to know you.

This made me think of you OP, just sharing this woman's experience.

twitter.com/msmerrythought/status/1502386497835741184?s=21

I donated eggs, OP. It was a known donation to a friend who has premature ovarian failure.
I naively hadn’t considered the impracticalities of the process. I didn’t realise how many hospital appointments and scans there would be, and how specifically timed the appointments need to be. There’s no flexibility at all really, so you’d need to consider if this is something that fits in with your job/lifestyle.
Physically it was tough for me, I hyperstimulated and felt unwell for a few days afterwards. Not too bad though and it was manageable, it wouldn’t put me off doing it again.
It’s a lot to put your body through-physically, for me emotionally I felt fine, but understand this isn’t the case for everyone. You will receive a lot of counselling and support to ensure you’re making the right decision and understand all the implications.
I wouldn’t do it for a stranger, but for a friend I’d definitely do it again.

Some people on this thread made very obvious by the names have a religious agenda and are historically very much against donation and will use insidious worst case scenarios.

Egg donation is an enormous gift but will mean that you will have genetically connected people who will look for you later.

In the short term, the procedure is fairly ok but can make one feel hormonal, tired, ans bloated including having to take injections. There is a risk of overstimulation but that is low as they will use lower doses of the medications to avoid this risk if it is a donor atleast from reputable agencies ..

The best thing is to go through counselling. Good luck in coming to a decision.

by the names have a religious agenda

Oh this is hilarious!

If you had checked my posting history you would see that I'm an atheist.

This is what I say in polite company in place of FFS. If anything it's blasphemous.

OP please feel free to check my posting history. I never name change and you will find reference to why I chose this username in my posts.

Um... You would be bringing children into this world.

and will use insidious worst case scenarios.

All real stories available to everyone who can look them up, which is why I suggested doing research, but since I'm here...

verilymag.com/2015/10/reproductive-health-fertility-donating-eggs

abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/donated-eggs-10-years-ago-things/story?id=48477302

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/07/i-sold-my-eggs-for-an-ivy-league-education-but-was-it-worth-it

And finally, the filmmaker is Christian, but don't let any bias about a religious belief distract you from the actual real women and their stories on their egg donation experiences.

I certainly wouldn't risk my health in this way. There are plenty of other ways to be kind OP.

You can find information on the WeAreEggDonors site where there are some interesting blogs.

This one discusses whether egg donation increases the risk of ectopic pregnancy, something no one will tell you when they are eagerly signing you up.

www.weareeggdonors.com/blog/egg-donor-ectopic

"My doctor explained that there is a small risk that the Fallopian tubes can be damaged during the egg retrieval process by the aspiration needle, although he said this should be very easy to avoid. But the main concern is that a history of pelvic surgeries is linked to a greater risk of ectopic pregnancy, even where the Fallopian tubes are never directly impacted.
“Pelvic surgeries” can include anything from an appendectomy, perforation of the uterus from an IUD, and minimally invasive adnexal surgery (e.g. egg retrieval). There’s a very good chance that even if my Fallopian tubes were never damaged during retrieval or subsequent healing processes — which we cannot know for sure at this point — that at the very least I didn’t give my body enough time to fully heal from my last egg retrieval. Following egg retrieval, it can take 6-8 weeks for ovaries to return to normal size and any amount of swelling of the ovaries or surrounding connective tissue can slightly kink or put pressure on the Fallopian tube, making it difficult for the embryo to make it to the uterus."

And here is part of a discussion from one of the founders of the site:

"Despite our efforts (and my efforts), to inform donors of the risks and the reality that the American fertility industry operates without meaningful regulatory oversight, time and time again, I watch as young women subject themselves to the process, largely trusting in a doctor or facility who does not have their best interests at heart and trusting a system and industry that is preying on the vulnerable (the infertile and young women). Time and time again, members leave retrieval with no follow-up care, only to have liters of fluid removed later from their abdomens. Time and time again, we've seen clinics marginalizing their pain, explaining it away as "normal." "

Although in the UK the HFEA regulates clinics, and donors aren't paid in the same way, none the less, don't kid yourself you are the patient. You won't be. You are the product or at least the means of obtaining the product.

And here is a photo journal, so you can see what a relatively mild (and therefore common) case of OHSS looks like.
At least 30% of donors get mild OHSS, the figure for severe is 1-2%, severe is extremely serious and will involve a stay in ICU and likely various complications.

www.weareeggdonors.com/blog/photo-essay

From the blog:

"I never expected that I would feel this awful…. probably because the doctors downplayed how common OHSS actually is. I can honestly say that I’ve never felt so unwell in my life. I spend most of my days sleeping on the couch and drinking Gatorade in between naps. I would give anything to feel like myself again. I miss going to the gym and eating however I like. My body doesn’t look the way I’m accustomed to it looking and that has been a bit of a struggle for me. Despite the fact that I have two other IPs who want me to donate, I will not be donating again. I feel very guilty for having to turn them down, but there is no way I can let myself go through this again. It has had such a huge impact on my health and my day to day life and it’s unfair for those around me. My boyfriend has been absolutely phenomenal throughout this process, taking time off work to stay with me because he does not want me to be alone. As an independent person, I’m not used to needing so much help. I had to ask him to help me put my boots on the other day."

I did it about 9 years ago but I had already had 2 children and didn't want any more. The nurse said at the time this was a really common situation. It was very intense for a month and i had a lot of fluid retention but that went quickly. But 3 families benefitted which was great and I have no regrets. Part of the driver was that I had read an article about buying and selling eggs which I found really distasteful. I realised that to avoid that you needed willing volunteers to step forwards

I received donor eggs from an altruistic uk based donor op. I think of my donor every day and thank her although I don't yet know her. I hope my child seeks contact at 18 so that I can thank her in person. I don’t think there is a greater gift you can give someone else. I’ve been through egg collections and whilst they are not pleasant, it’s manageable.

Are you suggesting that people with religious beliefs are not entitled to an opinion ? Or just that their views are not valid?

Is it only people like you ( who, naturally , have no agenda and are totally unbiased and have no personal involvement or experience ) who are permitted to post ?

Also LOL about @OhHolyJesus . You’ve obv not read any of her posts.

Having been through egg harvesting as my own personal fertility journey, I wouldn't advise it

If you want to do something good, find a charity to volunteer for. Maybe something to do w kids?

Leave your body alone. Don't put yourself under unnecessary physical stress for no reason