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Donor conception

Thinking of using egg donor but struggling with idea

51 replies

Kali75 · 06/06/2019 12:50

Hi all I've had a difficult 2 1/2 years after initially getting pregnant within a couple of months after getting married, which I was absolutely thrilled about at 41 years old. Sadly I found out that I had suffered a silent miscarriage 3 days before my 12 week scan. There followed 6 months of complications and numerous procedures and operations to try to clear left over miscarriage tissue. After getting the all clear we began trying naturally once again, and I expected to get pregnant again quickly as it had happened so quick the first time round. I also had a couple of friends my age that had experienced a miscarriage and then got pregnant within a couple of months, but sadly this didn't happen for us. Eventually a year after getting the all clear we began our IVF journey and a year later we've had 3 failed rounds of IVF.

We have now been told to consider egg donation as I am now 43 years old and will turn 44 this October, and because although over this time I've had numerous eggs mature, only 1 egg in each cycle fertilised, but not one ever made it to blastocyst stage. The consultants have said this is due to my egg quality and our best option now is egg donation.

I am utterly devastated and haven't been coping very well through out this whole 2 1/2 year experience and I am now trying to get my head around using an egg donor.

I know logically this will be the best chance for me to become a mum, which is something I have dreamt about and longed for, for such along time and being pregnant and carrying my baby has also been such an important part of this dream. I'm just struggling with the idea of giving up the thought of having my own biological child and I dont know how to get over this?

Just wondering how others have got over this huge hurdle and would be happy to share their thoughts and experiences and offer me any advice?

I just cant stop crying today as we've been trying to conceive naturally the last couple of months following our last failed IVF round, and yesterday my pregnancy test was negative! Feel like I'm running out of time and need to get over this hurdle so can have my much longed for family.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

OP posts:
CleopatrasMum · 25/06/2019 17:11

Another thing I find odd is the assumption that people who are socialising and partying or building their careers (read, working for a living) must necessarily be doing so to the exclusion of trying to start a family. Maybe they are socialising and partying in an effort to meet a life partner? Maybe they can build a career at the same time as socialising and partying and, once they have a partner, maybe also trying for children. Maybe their career doesn't pay well and they are saving to start a family.

@2eternities your posts don't seem to entertain any of these possibilities.

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