Egg donor clinic recommendations/ success stories?

[TheGlitterFairy]

Hi, after an unsuccessful 4th round of IVF - cancelled over the weekend due to my low ovarian reserve/ poor response, DH and I are looking to move to DE.

I’ve been scouring the boards looking for info on the best places to go, and know that anonymous donor vs non anonymous is probably the starting point for the discussion but I’d be grateful if anyone could share their story and/ or if anyone would be able to recommend the clinic they used?

I’ve seen lots written about IVI Spain/ Alicante and clinics in Cyprus too - and have been looking at egg donation friends. Equally, my clinic in London offer this too so lots of info but great to hear from others.

Thanks in advance!

[totalnamechanger]

I took your message as a matching one too degger. In actual fact my husband and my child would never be blond haired, blue eyed and fair skinned despite us being English but I'm not offended and think I know what you meant.

[degger]

Totalnamechanger, yes, that was where what I wrote didn't make sense, suggesting that "English" is blonde and blue eyed. I appreciate that doesn't make sense and could potentially be offensive.

I really didn't mean that at all. In my defence, I was feeling really ill with a virus yesterday; hence why I was coming out with total shit . What I was trying to say was just about the matching thing.

[Cutesbabasmummy]

deggers firstly you implied that on My someone with blond hair and blue eyes looks English. That's a pretty sweeping statement. Can't red haired people woth green eyes look English? My DH has dark hair and grey eyes and he can trace his ancestry back to English royalty in the 1600's. Does that mean he doesn't look English? The reason you've upset people is that it was an incredibly rude and insensitive comment. My little boy actually looks just like his daddy and cousins despite having come from a Spanish egg donor. I really think you need to go and give your head a wobble

[degger]

Errrr I think if you read my last post you'll see I actually agree with you?

[Cutesbabasmummy]

degger I did read your previous post which only bizarrely appeared after I had posted. I'm pleased you have apologised. Thank you.

[Neome]

When I met DP I was over 40 but it was an ovarian cancer scare that made donor eggs essential for us if we wanted to try IVF.
After a massive amount of (obsessive worrying) deliberation I decided UK treatment via egg sharing was as ethical as I could imagine.

DS is 5.

I feel very lucky. It was not at all a quick or straightforward journey.

There is a frozen embryo but I am now over 50.

🦋

[TheGlitterFairy]

Thanks Neome for sharing your story with us - really appreciate it! So pleased to hear that you have a gorgeous DS!!

Thanks everyone else for contributing to the thread too.

Update here - we’ll be attending a counseling session soon to be “vetted” to use DE - apparently a necessary process. Also attending an info evening that Altrui are hosting and have an appt at CRGH to discuss their egg bank too. So slowly moving on. We’ve agreed on a UK donor so working out which avenue to take with that, and can hopefully move forward very soon! Excited to be able to now we’ve made that decision. Just need to narrow down the route and away we go!

Hope everyone else is managing to move forward also with whatever you decide!

[Neome]

Just to mention the Donor Conception network have some great children's books called 'Our Story' about how our family came to be, with various oisdibke scenarios . I think they are help ful for getting your head round it so I'd recommend getting one for yourself. Also we read a novel called The Two Week Wait which kind of helped.

Good luck x

[Neome]

Oisdibke? Where did that come from!

[TheGlitterFairy]

Thanks neome I’ve had a look at DCN - very helpful.

Went to an info evening held by Altrui last night. Very interesting and was great to hear from a donor and recipient couple on their experiences and reasons for going ahead etc

[totalnamechanger]

Hi Glitter really glad that things seem to be moving forward for you. The Altrui evening sounds good, were lots of people there? Are you registering with them? Did they talk about timeframes or what happens if they don't find you a match? Lots of questions .

I've now had an appointment at G&St T. They seemed very professional, experienced and I was reassured. I haven't had a proper chance to talk to my husband yet about how he found it as he had to go straight to work and we need a bit of time so we'll see where we are from there.

Keep us posted on what you decide to do - if you don't mind!

Neome I've bought the Two Week Wait on your recommendation! And thanks too for the extra info. I'm glad things worked out for you. Did you use a Care clinic?

[Neome]

London Women's Clinic, friends reccomended it and I looked at it's success rates for the specific tratment/patient profile. Good luck

[totalnamechanger]

Thanks again Neome. Was it a long process or did it work first time?

I’m quite nervous about the unknown cost/ likelihood of it working. Like many others we’ve already thrown a significant amount of money at ivf.

I’m not sure whether to insist on a hysteroscopy or anything else to cover more bases. I haven’t spoken to my more recent consultant about this but looking at his profile I don’t think he would be an advocate. I’d be really interested to hear anyone’s thoughts on this.

How is everyone else? Any more progress?

[Neome]

Sorry to miss your question, a difficult week with my Dad poorly.

I figured out that with my age and other factors and the clinic's success rates with the treatment we were going to have we would have an over 50% chance of success with 3 cycles and that's what I mentally and financially prepared myself for.

The first attempt with a 'fresh' embryo didn't result in pregnancy. The second attempt with a frozen embryo resulted in DS now 5.

I had had numerous previous cycles (all unsuccesful) with my ex husband many years earlier.
How are you getting on?

[Neome]

Should have added the matching process to find an egg sharing donor took several months but not as long as a year. Tests, decisions etc etc all took lots of time at the start too.

[TheGlitterFairy]

Thanks toralnamechanger - there were about 30 people attending the info eve. In terms of timeframes, they said the shortest they’ve matched someone has been 3 weeks (though this is unusual) but on average it can take 3/4 months. I guess there are then the outliers that take longer also depending on heritage / ethnicity etc.
I haven’t managed to find out what happens if they don’t match you! But have emailed them again to ask the question.

We’re looking to register with them and will do so this week I think. Exciting and a bit scary at the same time tbh!

Are you and your husband any further forward following your appt at G&StT?

Neome did you go with Altrui also to find your donor?

[TheGlitterFairy]

Oops totalnamechanger!

[Cocorocky1]

😀Hi im just doing the meds bit ready to fly out to Cyprus on the 1st of May. We were having problems and went to Fertility Fushion the service has been outstanding and even before my results came back he told me what our issue was, that was a tough weekend i grieved for the loss of my rubbish eggs. Results came back to confirm everything and the rate of success was the driver for us to go abroad for egg donation, its exciting now i just want to be there

[Foxy84]

Hi @theglitterfairy I hope you don’t mind me joining in here but I’m in a similar situation and also looking in to Altrui and New Life - what led you to choose Altrui?

A bit of background about me- I’m 34, and was diagnosed with POI a few months ago. My husband and I have been ttc since we got married last year. Because my diagnosis is fairly new I don’t yet have a clinic that I’m registered with, but I did have an NHS consultation at the Guy and St Thomas fertility clinic. It wasn’t super helpful as they basically told me I’d need donor eggs and sent me away! So I’m in the process of finding out more about donor eggs now, and my searching online brought me to Altrui and New Life as possible options in the UK.

[totalnamechanger]

Sorry for delay Neome and that your dad has been ill. I hope things are better? I think your approach is the way to go- expecting that one go at this won't necessarily make a baby. And it clearly worked for you!
There are so many unknowns with treatment and I appreciate it might take a few times to get it right. The worry is that if you aren't on a multicycle package - if there aren't any embryos to freeze you are back to square one with a lot of money spent. That is one of the reasons why I've been considering Manchester Fertility even though it isn't the most convenient and I haven't heard much about it. The bonus of having a multi-cycle package is that if it doesn't work with one donor (which could be due to many things) then at least you have a chance at another match.

Realistically though I think we are more likely to go with G&St T. Part of this is a leap of faith and going with a clinic where you feel comfortable and also doesn't add too much stress in terms of getting/ staying there.

Wow Glitter that is a lot of people for one open day. I'm sure it was interesting seeing the range of people considering donation. When I look at these boards it strikes me how many people have POF at such an early age. It must seem so very unfair. I'm older and occasionally beat myself up about not trying earlier or much sooner after I gave birth to DC. I know there are many people who are successful conceiving at 40 and unfortunately I wasn't- but I did know that 40 wasn't exactly young at the time. Have you registered now? And have you found out about what happens if you aren't matched?

I'm going to a DCN conference in a couple of weeks and hopefully from there we will make our final decision. Obviously the cost is a major factor - especially as there are no guarantees- but also thinking about whether this is feasible for us in other ways. What is heartening at the moment is seeing how many people on other threads did seem to find success even if it didn't come quickly.

All the best for you Cocorocky and sorry as well for your circumstances. I haven't heard of Fertility Fusion. What services do they provide? Keep us posted on how your Cyprus trip goes!

Foxy again very sad to hear about your POI. Do you think you'll go for New Life or Altrui? I thought both Anna and Alison seemed good in different ways if you decide to use an agency but might be more inclined to use Altrui if we go for G&St as she has a very long association with them. Nervous that you have to pay before matching though and wonder if it will take longer. I saw on another thread someone who was not recommending the agencies but I think that if you are not going to go abroad, it might be a less stressful option.

That was a ramble . Just trying to catch up and in a cafe so can't concentrate very well!

[Foxy84]

Hi @totalnamechanger, I really don’t know yet as I’m trying to find out more information about both Altrui and New Life, but at the moment I quite like the idea that New Life don’t charge a fee until they find you a suitable donor (although I can’t help wondering what’s the catch?!). It’s interesting that Altrui have a longer history with G & St T though as we might be going with them too!

What were the negative comments you’d seen re agencies? This might be my lack of knowledge here but I thought it was the only way to find a donor unless you have a friend/family member? Maybe I am mistaken though.

I’ve got a call with both Anna and Alison this week to find out more :)

[Cocorocky1]

Fertility Fushion is based at Wrightington Hospital and are the NHS referral site for North West, they came highly recommend by several midwives so that was why I went. He was very honest that the success rate in the UK for my age was greatly reduced and that treatment abroad would double that chance- I’m running out of time really I have psychologicaly prepared for three attempts and then I have to draw a line in the sand. I’m 46 in September and have worked out that if May, August and November are unsuccessful I have to go into being 47 knowing we at least tried

[totalnamechanger]

Hi again foxy I think the comment was just that people shouldn’t have to pay to be matched so the agencies are ripping off.

There might be something in that but my thoughts are that you either can a) go for egg sharing, which some people won’t want to do for various reasons or b) you can go abroad which again some people won’t want to do mostly due to ID release preference or c) you can approach a clinic about their donors which could be good if you find a clinic with a big pool of donors but this might be a long waiting time for some areas of the country or d) you use an agency which have a big pool of donors who might be more likely to have proven fertility than a) or c). Probably each clinic is different and there may be some which have lots of donors/ really ethical procedures and good outcomes but I’m not sure if my nearest one does.

Oh there are also egg banks but I think that frozen eggs don’t have as good outcomes as frozen embryos.

This is just based on my research and interpretation and so others who have been through this will be better placed to answer, I accept!

[totalnamechanger]

Wishing you all the best Cocorocky, I’ll be rooting for you. I’m not much younger than you. I’m finding it so annoying that abroad seems to have such great outcomes when we’ve pretty much decided on ID release!! Did FF say abroad was more successful for Donor Egg ivf?

[Foxy84]

Hi @totalnamechanger that’s really helpful thank you! I did know about a) and b), sorry should have been clearer in my post, I was thinking of UK specifically and a one to one donor as opposed to egg sharing. I didn’t realise about c) that clinics actually have their own donor pools too, I will definitely ask about that (although we haven’t committed to a particular clinic yet!). Thanks again :)

We’ve got our counselling appointment scheduled