Thinking about ttc with donor sperm as single woman

[tygr]

Hi

This is my first thread on this topic and I will have a proper look around as I know lots of other people have been in this situation but I wanted to have my own thread to help me get my thoughts together.

I turn 40 this month. I'm single. I hoped that I'd find the right relationship to have children within but it hasn't happened.

I've been alternating between denial and panic that I've missed my chance for the last few years. I know it might be too late already. I've never been pregnant. I don't know if I'm fertile. It bothers me a lot.

Now I'm turning 40, i think I might just have to buy the bullet and try to go it alone. I'd be very grateful for any suggestions from those with more experience to help me make the decision and how to go about it.

Hi. I decided at Easter that I wanted to have a baby using donor sperm so had all the tests including hycosy. I was lucky that everything came back good so I decided to go with iui rather than ivf. I had my first round with clomid and trigger injection in October. I had one follicle but got a bfn. Last week I went for the scan for my 2nd round and had 3 follicles of the right size but my clinic wouldn't go ahead with the iui due to the increased risk of triplets. I was gutted even though I know there is no way I could afford triplets on my own. I'm now waiting for AF to come to see if I can fit in another round before Christmas but it all depends on dates as clinic is closed for a week. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can have the iui on 22nd Dec. It's scary doing this in your own but I know it's the right decision for me.

Hi niclw im so sorry it didn't work first round and they wouldn't let you do second I would have been gutted to! I am worried about if there are to many follicles and they won't do it then losing that cycle as a chance but by clinic seemed to think they can reduce the number of follicles if that happens? I am due to start in Jan feels like so far away at mo lol

Hi Ttc2017, I know what you mean about it bring so far away. I'm counting down the days. It doesn't help that I'm a teacher and counting to the end of term too. Are you planning on a medicated cycle?

Ah yes bet that makes the whole process ten times harder as well being around children all day! Yes going for medicated so I know multiples is a risk but I am secretly excited and a big believer in what is meant to be will be. When are you due to start your next round

If all goes to plan I should start the clomid on cd2 which should be dec 12th but I've been told to ring the clinic before taking it due to Christmas. Thankfully the last two times I was ready for iui on cd9 so hopefully I can fit it in before. Otherwise I'll be trying again in January. I've been told it won't make any difference to wait another month. I've got 2 more vials from my donor so am just hoping it works. Have you told anyone that you are planning on using a donor?

Ah fingers crossed for you that you can get in this month! I have told my best friend and family what about you?

Hey
Good luck you two.. I am in decision mode currently.. as the decision to either have IUI or IVF has been taken out of my hands
So it's IVF or nothing.. I am scared at this point as know IVF involves so much... but maybe I just need to go for it and really really hope for the best and get my PMA working 😊

Honestly, the physical processes involved in IVF are nowhere near as bad as people anticipate. A lot of it you'd have been doing anyway in some form if you were looking at medicated IUI (eg injections; just for IVF the dose is higher) and you'd still have been having monitoring appointments and whatnot. The main difference is retrieval, really.

Thanks persipan
Yes that is true I was still going to have to take the medication for IUI
I have decided I will try
It's now or never.. time is not on my side so don't want to regret not having tried

I think you should go for it to be honest I first thought I would do ivf and Egg share and in comparison apart from a slightly longer time frame I don't think medicated iui is to much less messing around as you are very monitored :) trying to think of a positive spin on it wishing you lots of luck and baby dust

Thank you ttc17
I appr Coates the positive spin and thank you so much for the luck and baby dust
Same back to you 😊

I appreciate it I meant

Hi Nessie, I'd go for it. Remember that success rates for ivf are higher than iui so more chance of it working. My consultant said 2-3 attempts of iui max then move to ivf. Good luck and baby dust x

Hi Ttc17,

I've told one friend but chose not to tell my parents. My mum is a worrier and would constantly be asking questions so I decided that I would tell them if it works and after the scan at 6 weeks. I want to tell 2 of my other friends but they are always with their children when I see them so it's difficult to have a conversation. If I get the chance I will.

Thank you Nicole
Yes it does have a higher chance of working
It really is now or never.. my Mum is very kindly lending me/giving me money too
Good luck and baby dust to you too xx

*niclw

Yeh iv told a couple of people im thinking about it but it will only be my best friend I tell when I actually do it the others I will wait until I know pregnancy is OK need to think about some good ways to explain it as well as I'm sure some people will not be as understanding as others!

That's what I'm worried about. I think one of my friends will be very judgemental about using me doing this due to her religious beliefs but I'm hoping others with be supportive. I know my brother will make jokes about it forever but nothing I can do about that.

Exactly all that matters end of day is the child is loved and it's was works for your own individual family all families are different but we can choose to make ours how ever we like and to us that will be the normal so that's the main thing :) people who love us will understand and if they don't then it's not our worry. I'm sure I will spend a long time worrying about people and there reactions but in the big scheme of it all I don't care as long as my nearest and dearest can be happy for me I know they will love the child and these days the science behind it means nothing x

Yes i agree ttc2017
The closest people to you are the most important for sure, if you have the support from them no one else matters. Like you said there are so many different types of families
I know it won't be easy doing it on my own but I know I have so much love to give, I have full support from my family and close friends so can't ask more than that
Well said
Am wishing all of us all the luck in the world x

Hi. Just wanted to wish you all luck. I did IVF with a donor a few years ago. Best thing I ever did. Wishing you all success.

Just thought I'd update this. I had my 2nd iui on 20th Dec and I've got my BFP this morning yay!

Oh wow congrats!! That's brilliant news!! I'm having iui this month crossing my fingers and tips you can give me how did you find the whole iui process

Thanks. I was certain it would be negative. Then started having some symptoms but still didn't believe it. I'm a bit shocked and also terrified now but excited at the same time.

Good luck with your iui. Are you excited? Do you mind if I ask whereabouts you are in the country?

The whole iui process was very simple. Are you doing the medicated iui?

I took clomid for 5 days. I read online that it is best to take in the evening as you then sleep through most of the symptoms. I only had hot flushes but barely noticed them while asleep.
The scans are easy. But no one told me it needed to be an empty bladder so ended up being delayed slightly the first time. My first and third attempts I had 1 follicle, but they cancelled my 2nd attempt as I had 3 and they wouldn't allow me due to multiples risk.
The biggest issue for me on the first attempt was the trigger injection. I panicked all day but ended up being very simple and easy. The needle was so thin that I wouldn't have known I was doing it if I wasn't watching.
The actual iui is like having a smear test. Only difference is the catheter and sperm being injected. I had a bit of pain with the catheter on 1st attempt but I think it was because I was tense and nervous. This time I had it I was more relaxed and so busy talking to the nurses about Christmas movies that I didn't even realise it was done.

Feel free to ask more questions or even just to complain about the two week wait seeming like forever x

Thank u so much for all the info this month is dragging so much waiting for cycle to start so can go ahead with everything but only came off pill two months ago so cycle bit irregular so could be another week or two thought the tww was meant to be bad but this is the most dragging time ever do you know what day in cycle they do the iui when on medication or does it depends on your natural cycle length. Hope you are enjoying being pregnant and not feeling too sick!