Child savings

[MuchAdoAbout]

Hi - my divorce is complete. I opened savings accounts for our kids when they were born. We paid into them from the joint account and my parents have also been paying in - significant amounts. Ex wants the accounts moved into joint names (kids names with two parents operating them) to prevent me from stealing the money - I have never taken money from them.
I can’t find any kids accounts with two parents operating it and I also don’t want to have this tie to him. It’ll be a point of contact and conversation. He is controlling and abusive.
what have others done?

Just say no, you are divorced now and you are probably right that he’s just doing it it have a last connection. It’s just unnecessary. He can set up his own account for the children if he wants one you can’t steal from.

Tell him if he does the research and finds a bank your read all the info he provides

His point is that it is the children’s money and that as their parent he should be able to see it and have control of it.

Tell him to find an account which satisfies his requirements then.

You've been through a lot and are still trying to do parent constructively which is going to remain hard. But you don't need to engage with this stuff. Grey rock. Just say no, it's not necessary and let that be the end of it. Ignore any further communication from him or just reiterate 'I've told you it's not necessary.'.

Just because he's their other parent does not mean he needs to see it but you need to move to a place where you understand that you do not need to explain or justify yourself to him. This is the first hurdle to practice that skill on. There will be more so you may as well get comfortable with it now.

Good luck.

Maybe move the money into a CTF (child trust fund). That way neither parent can take it away from them.

I set up one for my son before he was one with OneFamily. I used the Lloyds save the change scheme to pay into it as did his grandparents. I also topped up if I had some spare cash.

Best thing I ever did. When he reached 18, the maturity value exceeded £50K. Enough to cover University costs.

Just say no.
As you are divorced, I'm assuming that the financial order was also sorted and the children's savings were not a part of that.
He doesn't think you are going to steal your children's savings. His purpose is control.

If you are divorced and financial order etc sorted, I would move those savings to an account in the children’s name that can’t be withdrawn from at all. Then start your own new one from now on and he can do the same.

If you can’t set up a child trust fund, a junior ISA would serve the same purpose. Money only accessible by child at 18. That way neither parent can take the money. His suggestions would allow you or him to take the money

A junior ISA as a PP suggested would solve this as only the child can access it and only when they reach 18. Alternatively, just agree to send him an annual screenshot of their accounts so he can see that the money is still there.

No is a complete sentence.

I'm guessing you wouldn't want him to have sole control over your children's money, so it follows that he's not unreasonable to not want you to have sole control either. Definitely put it in an account that neither of you can withdraw from, and make your own separate arrangements for future savings, and suggest he does too.

Appreciate the perspective@mrsm43s but I have built up the kids savings while he has spent our whole marriage racking up tens of thousands of credit card debt which I had to keep organising the repayment of as he buried his head in the sand. I’ve managed these accounts for over a decade without touching any of the money. And he’s also been trying to get his hands on money from my parents, who aren’t rich but are careful.

I’ll look into other account options.

My friends ex emptied their daughters savings account which her grandmother had set up for her.
It included a sizeable inheritance I remember being so sickened at the time.

Don't trust him.

If this money truly belongs to your DC and therefore was not included in any financial order, then it’s reasonable for it to be held in JISAs for them.

Why is it not in a CTF? Can't be accessed then until child is 18.....

Move money I to a child ISA and no one can touch it until child is 18 then only they can access it. Also set up a new fund for future management ney to go into from you and your parents he can do likewise. He sounds like a tiresome nob.

It doesnt follow at all. A man who racks up debt. A woman who saves for her kids.!

Good idea. Move it.

It is currently in a child savings account so I their names but managed by me.
I will look at a JISA.

Ignore him. Move the money into an ISA the money needs to be in the kids names. No arguments then.

Your friend should of put the inheritance into the child's ISA.

There weren't isas back in those days.

Say "request noted" then ignore?

Tell him he’s welcome to set one up and save for dc with his name being the only one on the account ,,,,. Then ignore him. Do not add him

look at Judas to compare rates