Ex won’t give up spare bedroom

[PollyBlueBird]

I have been sleeping downstairs in the dining room for 3 months, it’s connected to the kitchen so am getting constantly disturbed when I’m trying to sleep, I’m living out of bags and have no privacy. Ex has sole use of upstairs bedroom, en-suite and spare bedroom which has his computer in, he wfh 2 days a week. My solicitor advised asking him to move his belongings out of the spare room by the time I get back from holiday on Friday, and if not I will move his things out myself. He has replied to say he won’t do that and I can’t legally force him to. He is also delaying the sale of the house by not signing paperwork with the estate agent, although we have both agreed to sell. I no idea what to do, I feel completely powerless and he has all the control. I feel so worn down and exhausted.

Are you frightened of him?
If not, move his bloody stuff yourself!

Yes if you’re not scared of him I’d move his stuff out and have a Yale lock put on it while he’s out. You can then lock it from the outside and the inside and keep it secure (and stop him moving his crap back in when you aren’t home). If he wants to play stupid games

I’d tell him he has one last chance to pick which room he wants and if he doesn’t you’ll be picking for him. Either move his computer stuff into the main bedroom or set up a sofa bed in the computer room.

Put a lock on kitchen door when you go to bed, or for simplicity use a door stop your side.

No wonder you’re divorcing him. Just shift his stuff, he doesn’t get two rooms whilst you get none.

I'd move his stuff to the landing - maybe say "pick a room" and put a lock on the door

Wow. You are well shot of this specimen.

I’m so sorry hes doing this to you.

Simple you take the bedroom, get a lock and put it on the door and put his shit on the landing.

Take the bedroom with the en-suite and put all his stuff in the dining room

OP, what is stopping you reclaiming say the boxroom for example? What would his reaction be, would he lose the plot and be violent, or break the door down and get the room back? The overall situation is important in you deciding the best course of action.

If it were me and this pisstake artist was my ex, I'd get a big burly male friend to stay in the house (somewhere) and reclaim the room for me. Or something along those lines. That would apply only if you fear his reaction might turn violent.

Have you got a solicitor acting for you?

Superglue toddler socket covers in every socket in the spare room.. .no wfh there for him.

I really don’t know how he would act. This was his reply to my email
“I’m not happy about the threats or demands. What your solicitor has advised you does not legally obligate me to do anything, and I have no
intention of complying with it, especially in the timescale you have asked for (I have plans this week). You have no right to demand that I move my stuff (by a deadline!)”

I literally said “can you move your things out of the spare room before I’m home on Friday, if not I’ll move them to another place in the house myself”

You need to get his stuff out and get a lock fitted to the spare room. And change the WiFi password.

Maybe fit a lock to the kitchen so you have privacy and when it inconveniences him, he may agree to swap?

I'd move myself back into the master bedroom, put a lock on the door and dump his clothes in the spare room with his computer stuff. He can sleep and work in there.

What makes him so special?

Move them yourself, get a strong lock fitted to the spare room and move yourself in. If he damages anything of yours, report it to the police for criminal damage.

Oh my god!!! We married the same man!!! My ex could have written that. That’s exactly what he does. I make a reasonable request he writes the same kind of thing. Do these twunts go to the sane twunt school? Or is there a ‘twuntsnet’ somewhere where they gather and plot.

Write back and say that if his things aren’t moved by then you will do it yourself as you have aright to privacy and need a bedroom. Keep everything in written format and save it.

OP, are you joint owners of the house? I’ll assume so.

i would reply to him saying:

You misunderstood. As joint owners of the house I am legally entitled to equal share of occupation. This means one bedroom each. If you do not vacate the spare room by Friday, your possessions will be placed in your bedroom for you.

i will occupy the spare bedroom from Friday and the master bathroom as you have already taken occupation of the en-suite. We shall navigate shared spaces appropriately.

i remain you the sales papers need to be signed and returned to the estate agent. Any further delay and legal advice will be taken.

He is trying to control you OP. Has there been any abuse, violence of threats of harm from him during your marriage or during the separation? If there is, you should ensure your solicitor is away and consider necessary court orders.

Just move his stuff, and then throw a lock on the door
He sounds like a shit

He Might just break the door!!

Just reply to his letter /email with a very brief note to say

as legal
joint owners you are both legally entitled equal use of the property,he has no more rights than you do.

that you have given him choice to which room
snd that if he continues to chose not to engage then Friday you will pick and move his stuff to the other bedroom, to avoid that he’s welcome to move his stuff himself

then actually do it, if he kicks off or starts threatening call the police

So unsurprisingly he hasn’t moved his stuff out of the spare room. I told him this morning I would do it, started to pick things up and he just took them back off me. Got into an argument, he said he’ll think about not coming downstairs between 8-9 but will do in the morning if he’s going to work. He is also waiting for our first mediation session before putting the house on the market. I feel so stuck, I can’t keep living like this but I feel like there’s nothing I can do.

Get someone to come round and move his stuff

This ^ get someone round to put a lock with a key on the door or a keypad with code

then you have bedroom and bathroom all in one

Find someone to help you clear the spare room while he is out of the house. You are not powerless here but you do need support. And determination. You can do this but you need to be brave and stop accepting his immature narcissistic nonsense. What a vile loser he is.