Relocating children abroad - any experiences?

[StillRunningOnCoffee]

I’m considering whether it would be possible for my children to spend their teenage years in my home country, where I have family and support, as I think it could offer them a better quality of life. My ExH would be very unlikely to agree, so it would potentially need to be via the courts.

Has anyone here successfully relocated children abroad in similar circumstances? I appreciate it’s very expensive and that the chances of success are low, but I’d be interested in hearing others’ experiences.

Highly unlikely OP. Regular contact with your family will not trump regular contact with their dad, and that's what it will come down to.

You would gave to evidence that your children well-being would be greatly inhance by the move. Not just better school and fresh air.

At the moment, the courts very much favour the benefits to children of having regular contact with both parents. If he doesn't agree to the move and sees the children regularly. If he isn't putting the children wellbeing at risk in anyway, then I would say your chances are on the low side. Be also prepared for a very hefty legal bill (£25k or more not unusual in such circumstances).

I have older kids & have seen how the importance of their dad to them has increased as they’ve grown. It is a relationship you should foster if he doesn’t abuse them.

I also see how much they benefit from city living, easy travel, lots of sports/hobby clubs available, choices of college courses/6th forms.

(And I do appreciate how hard it is to live far from family.)

Also, I don’t think any tween or teen wants to travel to dad’s every school holiday. They will have their own lives and friends and will want you and their dad to just be around, when they need you, in a sort of background/wallpaper way.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t pursue your own interests/live your own life, but if you can do it near your ex it will be the best gift for your children.

Daughter is going to university and has no concerns about living with me in holidays as she doesn’t socialise anyway outside of school. Her dad lives overseas and she will spend some time there. I cannot afford to live in this area on a single salary and have waited years to move. I need to get on with a mortgage as I only have 18yrs until official retirement age. I have put my children first for years (unlike their father) and cannot put my plans on hold any longer. Fortunately my DD sees that and is fine. But yes, she is moving with me and will have a bedroom where I move to, but will not be permanently based there as she is moving away to Uni.

This tallies with my experience. It’s odd- things that I would expect to be important like quality of schooling, extended family aren’t seen to have any importance, dad trumps everything. Nothing money can buy for the child is important, but dads’ jobs matter. Change of any kind for a child is seen as a bad thing. Relocation seems hopeless if it will reduce how much the dad will see the child and he refuses to move. I feel this should be more widely acknowledged by courts and publicised so pregnant women can know that where they deliver that child is where they’ll have to stay for two decades. It would reduce pressure on courts and families going through the trauma of the process if people knew it was hopeless even to try.

So he sees them daily, does all school hols, is that why no maintenance?
agree this move is for you, not them!

@wannagoome it seems pretty clear to me that a relationship with their dad (providing no abuse) would and should trump all that.

But yes, pregnant women should think about that.

I think the OP os suggesting that if.they moved, she could offer daily FaceTime and to stay with dad all holidays, not that he sees them daily/all holidays currently.

Well maybe they could live with their dad and she could have face time and hols?