My husband lied about giving our sick baby Calpol

[Gloatingfloat]

We've already been clashing as he isn't the father we thought he would be

He has has treatment for postpartum depression and stress since babies arrival

We have a 9 month old who is poorly with a viral infection at the moment, he's not seen her for 2 days as I was visiting my parents with her. It was his day off today and I work from home. After a very unsettled night he agreed to get up with her this morning and give her bottle and medicine.
I noticed I didn't see the calpol out anywhere and is still in her bag. I don't believe he's given it her and I'm furious that he's complaining about how tired he is and how fussy baby is when he hasn't even given her the medicine and then lied to me saying he has?

Am I overreacting?

https://www.unicef.org/eca/stories/can-men-get-postnatal-depression

Men can get post natal depression too.

But why would he lie? Would you have been furious if he apologised and said he forgot?

The fact the Calpol is where you left it isn't that odd. I'd put something back where I found it, even if the bottom of a bag. As the person who put it there first might not find it otherwise.

Yup!

Translation: Everything's not all about him anymore and that makes him sad.

@Celestialmoods Post natal, perhaps. Post partum, I doubt it.

Yes.
WTF

But that’s the whole point isn’t it? OP can’t depend on her “D”H.

I agree it’s safer for her just to take responsibility for the Calpol but it’s sad when you can’t depend on your husband to care for his own child properly. What’s the point of being married?

Obsessed that youve placed this under divorce/separation

Obsessed that despite being physically unable to 'partum' a baby, he is suffering from depression relating to having done so

Girl, free yourself from this shite man and go it alone! You and the baby will be a lot happier, and he can pop back up when he feels well enough, likely when the kid turns 5 and is more 'fun' xx

Edit, he is definitely lying and hasnt given her her calpol, poor baby

Agree .. why be a married single parent? He needs to step up and be responsible. It's no longer all about him

Yanbu

He basically can't be bothered

What's he been doing instead? Chilling online?

What do you mean by “he isn’t the father we thought he would be?” Who’s “we”?

Postpartum depression is a real thing that men and women can both get.

It is a medically recognised condition and although I personally hate the phrase when used for men (I wish they would just say depression), he has been diagnosed by a doctor and I don’t think your reply is helpful to OP.

OP I had PND and it definitely makes you forgetful but he also has to be safe around the baby - will he forget to feed them, test the temperature of the bottle/bath etc.

If his depression is so bad that he cannot be trusted to be left alone with the baby, then unfortunately you will need to take on full responsibility.

That does not mean he gets off scot free though, as he will need to do all of the cooking, cleaning etc instead.

Many countries use the phrase postpartum.
It may be that OP or the doctor isn’t from England and used this phrase instead.

She’s just had a baby and her partner is less than useless.
I think it’s unfair to nitpick over the term she used when we all know what she meant.

Depression can make someone relaxed, they are usually lazy workers because they spend the time feeling low and insecure. I think its best to rely on yourself when it comes to treating the child not the father.

So you don't trust him.
You feel he continually outside his needs above your child's and your own.
He potentially has allowed your baby to struggle needlessly.
He isn't honest, potentially.

But then I think the reall issue here isn't this one off incident. It seems this is the tip of the iceberg, and it is his pattern of behaviours that are the problem, not this one off not giving the baby the calpol.

I think you need to calmly sit and discuss the knock on affect this is having on your marriage. You don't trust him, you feel like he isn't prioritising the baby, you feel like it is all on you, communication is an issue.