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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

My husband lied about giving our sick baby Calpol

38 replies

Gloatingfloat · 06/12/2025 11:27

We've already been clashing as he isn't the father we thought he would be

He has has treatment for postpartum depression and stress since babies arrival

We have a 9 month old who is poorly with a viral infection at the moment, he's not seen her for 2 days as I was visiting my parents with her. It was his day off today and I work from home. After a very unsettled night he agreed to get up with her this morning and give her bottle and medicine.
I noticed I didn't see the calpol out anywhere and is still in her bag. I don't believe he's given it her and I'm furious that he's complaining about how tired he is and how fussy baby is when he hasn't even given her the medicine and then lied to me saying he has?

Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
Mumto21234 · 06/12/2025 11:29

Did he tell you he gave the baby calpol? And if so, do you now know he is lying about it, or just presuming as calpol hasn't been moved?

Original poster
Gloatingfloat · 06/12/2025 11:35

He said he did and when I asked did she take it nicely he said "she spat a little out" (she hates calpol)

He didn't know the calpol was at the very bottom of her bag, it wouldn't make sense to get it out and then bury it back down the bottom of the bag

OP posts:
Mumto21234 · 06/12/2025 11:37

Maybe ask him if he lied about it then?

ADHDdiagnosis · 06/12/2025 11:38

Just do the medicines yourself. Then no confusion or mistakes. It’s dangerous to give too much as you know so better to give too little.

I know it’s frustrating but if you take charge of it the situation is safer

NuffSaidSam · 06/12/2025 11:39

It seems a very strange lie. Do you not have Calpol anywhere else in the house? We always had multiple bottles on the go.

I think it's more strange to lie about this than to put it back in the bottom of the bag tbh.

Keroppi · 06/12/2025 11:41

Pretty wild that he'd lie, that's really the issue, not that he forgot
Does he usually hide stuff from you or lie to cover himself? If things are rocky and he thinks you look down on his parenting then I can see why he would lie - not that I think he should obviously.

Perhaps a big chat needed about honesty and safety, especially regarding medicines, you could've easily gave baby too much or too little if he can't be honest with you..

FuzzyWolf · 06/12/2025 11:42

I get the impression that you are so unhappy with him right now that you will find anything you perceive him to have done and turn it into an issue.

Parenting can be hard, especially a poorly baby. Try to take a step back from your emotions and remember that you don’t have to parent in the same way for it to work and what works for one person isn’t necessarily right or wrong for someone else.

mydogisanidiott · 06/12/2025 11:45

Yeah this is super weird thing to lie about. And quite an obvious lie. Maybe he got mixed up. May be he has forgotten what he did if he has MH issues.

murrayperahi · 06/12/2025 11:46

So many couples break up in their baby’s first year. Try and be kind to each other and ride it out for a few more months if you were previously well suited. If he lied then that’s obviously not great at all but maybe he was trying to avoid an argument?

Frynye · 06/12/2025 11:52

Remember you are both very tired and won’t be thinking clearly. Maybe he lied cause he forgot and felt silly. Just try and be calm and kind to each other. The first year is a hard and especially hard when the babies ill

BestZebbie · 06/12/2025 12:02

Do you definitely only own one bottle of calpol?

yelloworanges1 · 06/12/2025 12:04

Ask him where the calpol is

Wellstonethecrows · 06/12/2025 12:13

If he is lying then this is a really serious issue with your DC's health and wellbeing at risk.
You really need to have a discussion about this with him and impress on him that if he really forgot to give the medication you won't be angry but he needs to be honest for the sake of the baby.
No matter what other differences you both have you need to be on the same page as regards the babies welfare when he is unwell.

MyOliveCrow · 06/12/2025 12:30

ADHDdiagnosis · 06/12/2025 11:38

Just do the medicines yourself. Then no confusion or mistakes. It’s dangerous to give too much as you know so better to give too little.

I know it’s frustrating but if you take charge of it the situation is safer

Why should she? Her father is more than capable of supporting his sick child. If something happened to OP, what would he do then? Lying about medicine fora sick baby is not acceptable. And it shouldn't be on OP to do everything, this is what leads to women shouldering all the family responsibilities and it's not okay. Their child is sick, he cannot be lying about medicine and OP should not simply roll over and say 'I will do it all'.

Cucy · 06/12/2025 12:31

Ask him where the calpol is, as you want to give her some more - if he can’t tell you where it is then he definitely didn’t do it.

tripleginandtonic · 06/12/2025 12:34

Wellstonethecrows · 06/12/2025 12:13

If he is lying then this is a really serious issue with your DC's health and wellbeing at risk.
You really need to have a discussion about this with him and impress on him that if he really forgot to give the medication you won't be angry but he needs to be honest for the sake of the baby.
No matter what other differences you both have you need to be on the same page as regards the babies welfare when he is unwell.

Health would only be at risk if he said he hadn't given it to baby when he had and then OP had given him more.

Wellstonethecrows · 06/12/2025 12:43

tripleginandtonic · 06/12/2025 12:34

Health would only be at risk if he said he hadn't given it to baby when he had and then OP had given him more.

Show quote history

In this case probably.
But omitting to give medication in some instances can be serious.
There needs to be total honesty about medication to safeguard the child.

somanychristmaslights · 06/12/2025 12:56

I’d say to him “where’s the calpol as I need to give more?” That’ll prove he doesn’t know where it is

Applecup · 06/12/2025 13:08

You lost me at 'He has has treatment for postpartum depression and stress since babies arrival'.

AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 06/12/2025 13:15

If I couldn't trust my DH about whether he'd given our baby medication or not, I'd be leaving him.

TalulahJP · 06/12/2025 13:16

Is “he” a biological woman who has had a baby but “his” gender is male? Just wondering about the post partum thing.

People who are looking after babies medication need to get it right. Thete is a risk of over or under provision. So you need a system. Whiteboard on the fridge or somethimg as Youll both be knackered and not thinking or remembering well just now.

Itll get better!

AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 06/12/2025 13:16

Applecup · 06/12/2025 13:08

You lost me at 'He has has treatment for postpartum depression and stress since babies arrival'.

I know, I couldn't be done with it.

Celestialmoods · 06/12/2025 13:17

If he’s depressed, he’s not going to make the best choices. Did he lie because he forgot and was worried about your reaction?

Ohthatsabitshit · 06/12/2025 13:19

If your partner is female and has post partum depression and is not reliable enough to give medication or care for a sick baby YOU should be making sure your child is well cared for.

ThePeachHiker · 06/12/2025 13:19

He has had two days off from parenting then has the cheek to moan to you about how tired he is, is that right?
I’m a timid person people pleaser but even I can tell he’s taking the piss.