Equity split/ maintenance payment

[StickleyBricks]

I have what may be stupid questions being thrown at me by nearly ex partner, and these have me questioning everything!

any viewpoints appreciated please.

1. House equity.

When calculating this, is appreciation of (his) deposit taken into account? (He says it should be ). So let’s say house is valued at 400, he contributed 150k deposit, we’ve paid off 100 therefore shared equity would be 150. So I was working on circa 75k to me. However he is saying his deposit contributed x% to original cost of house and therefore should get the same % back - with the appreciation. Does that make sense? (worth noting there’s no declaration of trust and I’m joint tenant and have always paid half of all mortgage and house costs)

2 Child Maintenance.
Based on gov website, children staying on average 1-2 nights a week with him, based on his salary totals that I should get nearly around £500 per month.
However he argues that this is based on just his salary and doesn’t take account of the other partner’s salary (we earn roughly the same).
I think this is chuffing ridiculous.
I’ve also worked out that all costs involved in me caring for children the majority of the time is more like £1100 pcm therefore I should get at least half of this.

We’re really trying to be v reasonable and conversations have been amicable so far but I feel like his logic is just getting bonkers now and I’m being very reasonable relinquishing my full share of joint equity (i.e. letting him keep his full equity)

Am I going crazy misunderstanding him or is he way off?

For UK child maintenance it wouldn't matter if you were JK Rowling or as poor as can be, the assessment would be the same.

[in about 2/3 of US states they look at both incomes, as did the original CSA, so there are places where it does matter, but not the UK].

@StickleyBricks When you say you have funds, were these accrued during the marriage? If so, they are in the pot too. If you are talking about borrowing, that’s different. Or someone giving you funds post divorce.

@OhDear111 not married!

So he didn’t get you to agree to return his deposit then before you bought? Bigger fool him. You take whets yours and he takes what’s his. You aren’t married so you take back what you put in as individuals. You both should have protected your individual positions.

Ops ex would have been wise to have had a deed of trust - in the event he had it would highly likely have been a % of equity related to his deposit value and ongoing mortgage contributions vs ops. So he’d own it as tenants in common with unequal shares split 70:30 or whatever - meaning he would get growth on his origin deposit investment on the basis house appreciated

So nice of everyone to be so concerned about and giving advice to the ex who is doing his best to rip off the OP and their child in every possible way. If he did not protect his deposit, he has no legal right to expect it back (and what he's actually seeking is much more than this).

Hones if his deposit isn’t ring fenced I’d be looking at splitting the equity 50/50 as a separate parting point. What’s right or wrong morally is irrelevant. He’s going to be penny pinching on the money he passses through for his children for the next x years so you need to get what’s legally yours now.

he’s only going to pay what he’s legally forced to pay moving forward. Thinking that £200 a month is anything close to an adequate amount to pay is ridiculous.

Just say we'll go through cms so we both know where we are.

If he had ringfenced his deposit legally it would have been done as a % of the purchase cost, and therefore he should receive that same % when splitting the equity.
If he hadn’t done that then in reality and in law as you bought the house as joint tenants, the equity should be split equally and his deposit ignored. So on a house valued at £400k, subtract the outstanding mortgage and split the balance equally.
Regarding CM, it’s far simpler to go through the CMS as there is no room for error. If the calculator says he should pay £500 pm, then that’s what he pays - no more and no less. If the costs of the children to you exceeds that, he would be under no obligation to pay more.
Whats the breakdown of the £1100pm costs?

Op ex is trying to protect his investment and maximise his £ - in exactly the sane way as anyone does on separation and exactly the sane as woman are always told to do on this site. I said upthread that without a deed if they own as joint tenants legally it’s 50:50 ( unless agree different)

op was trying to make out her ex is unreasonable for saying his deposit should increase with house value - actually that’s not at all unusual and IF there had been a deed is exactly how it would have worked .

no one on here would be happy to lose money they’d invested so he was unwise in that regard.

it’s up to op whether she wants to take the pure legal view or agree a slightly different outcome

on the cms she should just put in an application

This is a good reminder to never get married again!

If a woman had failed to protect their deposit and posted on mumsnet, it's fair to say the responses on here would be summarised as 'tough shit, more fool you'. He's lying about everything and he's lying about the deposit. He doesn't just want it back, with no legal right to do so, he wants more. He has no intention of paying the legal minimum maintenance and is lying about that too.

On 1, we actually have a deed of trust or whatever it’s called, because I sold a property to buy this one together. It says that I get my £150k or the 35% this represented, whichever is higher at the time of sorting it out. We were told that’s the standard wording so that’s how it may be viewed when it’s all being sorted out.

Edit: sorry, didn’t realise you weren’t married and there won’t be a legal process to ‘sort this out’.

He hasn’t got a new partner. She means herself as partner.

@bigboykitty If any person lives with another they should sort out finances first! The fact they didn’t leads to arguments. Not being married doesn’t give the same rights as marriage does. That’s the point. If op wanted the same rights, she should have married.

Not sure what you think you're telling me. He didn't protect his deposit and he's trying to rip OP off. Unfortunate combination.

Well no. Like most u married couples, he wants out what he put in. Fairly standard with non married people. They are individuals. No marriage - no responsibility.,

Perhaps read what OP said again...

Op didn’t put in the house deposit. She should give it back. Then 50:50 with any profit as she’s contributed to the mortgage. The CSM has been explained.

I give up. Did you reply to the wrong person?

@OhDear111 'fess up.

You're one of the silly, un-clued up boyfriends he's been asking, aren't you?

Or alternatively, one of the crowds of incel or "outraged father" flocks of flying monkeys who descend on MN all the time nowadays.

You think we don't see you.

We so do.