Equity split/ maintenance payment

[StickleyBricks]

I have what may be stupid questions being thrown at me by nearly ex partner, and these have me questioning everything!

any viewpoints appreciated please.

1. House equity.

When calculating this, is appreciation of (his) deposit taken into account? (He says it should be ). So let’s say house is valued at 400, he contributed 150k deposit, we’ve paid off 100 therefore shared equity would be 150. So I was working on circa 75k to me. However he is saying his deposit contributed x% to original cost of house and therefore should get the same % back - with the appreciation. Does that make sense? (worth noting there’s no declaration of trust and I’m joint tenant and have always paid half of all mortgage and house costs)

2 Child Maintenance.
Based on gov website, children staying on average 1-2 nights a week with him, based on his salary totals that I should get nearly around £500 per month.
However he argues that this is based on just his salary and doesn’t take account of the other partner’s salary (we earn roughly the same).
I think this is chuffing ridiculous.
I’ve also worked out that all costs involved in me caring for children the majority of the time is more like £1100 pcm therefore I should get at least half of this.

We’re really trying to be v reasonable and conversations have been amicable so far but I feel like his logic is just getting bonkers now and I’m being very reasonable relinquishing my full share of joint equity (i.e. letting him keep his full equity)

Am I going crazy misunderstanding him or is he way off?

Equity. If you hold the house as joint tenants it’s 50:50 legally although morally he’s correct. On the basis you’re not married it’s based on how the house is owned. He should have got a deed of trust and fingfenced his deposit

cms is based on your ex partners sole income quite rightly. If he agrees to pay more that’s great but if he doesn’t you’ll get the cms only regardless of what you deem to be the costs

Just tobsay that his new partner's income is irrelevant but of she has children under 18 living with them, this would reduce the amount owed to you.

And it doesn’t matter if earn the sane, more or less than your ex - cms won’t change

I mean unless he ringfenced it actually legally you don’t have to give it back but let’s say he did - he gets back the deposit and nothing more

so CMS basically just looks at his salary

he is wrong on both countd

Assuming you are married, every asset goes in the pot and his deposit isn’t normally ring fenced. If it’s a long marriage - it’s just seen as one asset divided between you. (What about pensions?) If there’s an agreement before marriage, the deposit could be taken into account if no dc and a short marriage. Is it short? But with a longer marriage and dc, there’s less likelihood this would stand.

Not married, what’s yours is yours and what’s his is his - morally.

If he didn't ring-fence his deposit you don't have to give it back. I think morally that you should. I think a 50:50 equity spit is fair. However, I'm not sure if I would want to act morally while he's trying to fuck you over and limit his financial contribution to your joint child.

If you want half of the £1100 costs for you looking after the kids then you'll be paying him for half the costs when he has them - yes?
How happy would you be at losing £150k in a relationship. I doubt he'll get it back but I don't see why you think it's strange hi bringing it up.

Not married (this is good for me as I have much better pension). No new partners for either or other children involved.

it’s likely children will only be with him 1 night a week so I will incur the majority of that estimated 1100 per month.

whilst I’m trying to act ‘morally’ and beyond reasonably, it’s going to cost me tens of thousands from the equity!

Yes I have double checked all child maintenance documents and they emphasise my salary is irrelevant and it’s about the non resident parents responsibilities/ liabilities.
But this ‘fact’ isn’t good enough for him.

Honestly 🙄

There’s usually a need to house both parties from the house money too. So does that work with the lower sum for you? If not it’s important to go 50:50 so both parents can house dc. He should want to see his child adequately housed and not force you to a cheaper area miles away, for example.

Joint tenants or Tenants in common?
Any declaration of trust on purchase to ring fence his deposit?
If JT and no, its a straight 50:50 split of equity. A court would agree.

They aren’t divorcing though where this would be taken into account

they are splitting the proceeds of a joint tenancy so it would be 50/50

I think lots of people are misreading your post op. It sounds like you're willing to disregard his deposit, but he's trying to say that as his deposit was ( for example) 25% of the original purchase price he wants 25% of the current value before the remaining equity gets split? If so he's deluded. If he didn't protect the deposit he's lucky you're willing to settle for half the equity after the deposit is disregarded, legally you don't have to. As far as cms, you are right, it's purely based on his income. I'd just say you'll leave it to cms to sort out as they know what they're doing, and then claim through cms. Good luck

@YourSnugHazelTraybake thanks, this is correct and you’re interpreting it as per my understanding on both.

I have my own deposit and sufficient salary to purchase new property, but still don’t want to be screwed over!

(interestingly two males he’s spoken to have said something along the lines of £200 pcm ‘sounds about right’ 🙄🙄

And every woman I’ve spoken to has used swear words in response 👍🏻

@Tiswa Yes. Point taken but dad could be wanting to see dc adequately housed? Well - maybe!

I think morally, yes he should get his deposit back when working out the equity. Yes it will cost you tens of thousands but that was his money, and it’s a large amount that he put in that you’ve benefited from too as you’ve had lower mortgage payments than if a small deposit was put down. He should have protected it though. My ex put 30k down, I contributed nothing, but I discounted that 30k when working out any equity. Legally you can have 50% of it though, so your choice I guess.

Maintenance does not take into account how much the resident parent earns, the non resident still has to pay maintenance. Because you earn the same as him he expects you to bear the full cost of raising the DC, or he should pay less as you earn more. Tell him to go and do some research as he is completely wrong.

Sorry mis-read. No he should not be getting a higher percentage based on his deposit percentage. I’d tell him that legally you’re entitled to 50% of the lot, but will discount his deposit but absolutely no to him getting a higher percentage. He should have got a tenants in common mortgage where his share was higher if that’s his thinking.

I agree he should get back the % he put down as deposit.
Also agree he’s deluded to think that because you earn money he doesn’t need to contribute fairly to your costs raising his children.
Probably not what you want to hear as money now is better than uncertainty of maintenance. Can you afford to house yourself and children if he gets his deposit % back?

Yes I already have funds to purchase new property - very fortunate. Just stuck on how bizarre this concept of appreciation of the equity is! No qualms at all returning him the original amount but adding value to it just strikes me as somewhat greedy.
I’ll go via Child maintenance service if needed but was hoping not to….

It is insane and not how it works at all!

I would simply respond we are splitting the remaining equity 50/50 and I would go via CMS

Your ex is trying to financially abuse you and everything he's telling you in incorrect. If he didn't legally protect the deposit, he has no legal right to get it back. No one should be commenting on the morality of that when they nothing about you or your circumstances. So he has no legal right to it based on what you've described, but he is trying to recoup the deposit, plus a lot more. Don't bother discussing child maintenance with him. He's fully misinformed and CMS will collect the money from him. Let them handle it. Bearing in mind he's currently trying to rip you off on all fronts, please don't try to be fair with him. Please take everything you are entitled to because men like this will move heaven and earth to avoid paying any CM and they get away with it all the time. Congratulations on breaking up with this horror.

PS forgot to say, you might want to post this in Legal as well, @StickleyBricks

@bigboykitty thank you. It’s absolutely insane how someone can make you question what you KNOW to be right.
I'm so looking forward to peace in my own home and managing my own affairs in a straightforward manner.

I'd agree he gets £150k back then sit equity equally with him. Go to CMS for child maintenance. Let him argue with them.

OP, when you say DC cost approx 1100 a month, do you mean for childcare or for food, clothing and so on?

@Apileofballyhoo its for food, clothing, housing, clubs, after school care. Not nursery fees, they are older than that thankfully!